He rammed into her deep and hard one last time, his body jerking, eyes closing as orgasm overtook him.
He slumped, almost smothering her. His harsh groan rang in her ears, but she revelled in his weight, in the thump of his heart against her breast, in his exhaustion. In the sweat pooling between them.
She smiled despite her swollen, oversensitive, kissed to glory lips. ‘You know that only counts as one, right?’
SEVEN
Caitlin moaned as she reluctantly woke. Her body tingled. He’d flipped her over for their tenth round only an hour ago, determined to prove that the woman’s gushing in that article hadn’t been a massive exaggeration and that he could, in fact, go much, much more.
‘So how bad was it?’ James asked teasingly.
With effort she rolled away from where she’d been burrowed against his side and smiled, happy to take the bait—and bite. ‘I think you need a little more practice at being super bad.’
‘More practice?’ He lay face down in the centre of the bed, his words muffled by pillows and a delighted laziness in his voice.
She prised her eyelids open with her fingers. ‘Much.’
He half laughed, mostly groaned. ‘Tigress.’
She’d barely slept—she couldn’t with the way he’d tended to her, tormented on her. The way he’d touched her... She was still floating in an utterly soothed, relaxed state. She’d never felt such freedom and yet such safety before. There were no morning after regrets here.
With a growl and a curse he levered up from the bed. ‘I’m not looking at you.’ He stumbled into the bathroom.
Caitlin closed her eyes again and stretched right out on the bed. Her aches began to ease; already she hungered for fulfilment again. With treatment like this, she could stay here for ever.
Her eyes flashed open at that wayward thought. Instantly, imperatively she reminded herself of some fundamental truths. Just as there was no such thing as love-at-first-sight, nor was there such a thing as love-at-first-screw. There was definitely no such thing as life-changing, earth-shattering, cataclysmic sex. So this dreamy, whole-other-plane of happiness she was coasting on was purely hormonal. Not actually real. Her pulse would settle, the softness inside would harden up again.
Dazed, she made herself drum up some emotional armour. Doubtless he had a million annoying habits—aside from the arrogance and occasional moodiness she’d already witnessed. And just because they were sexually compatible didn’t mean they had anything more in common. The ‘happy ever after’ fantasy flash could disperse into the thin air from which it had come. It was a moment, that was all. Everyone knew the initial rush of lust faded from any relationship.
Not that this was a relationship.
Hell. Her mind was shredded.
This was just fun, easy sex. With the ground rules established and the end date already in sight, there was simply enjoyment to be had. Like having a regular booking at a fine restaurant, she’d be able to enjoy all the dishes over a few short days. Then end it satisfied, replete and with no ill effects after.
The bathroom door opened and he walked out. Rippling abs, massive muscles, even more massive erection.
Dear heaven. How could he possibly be hard again? ‘Did you pop Viagra while you were in there?’ She gaped, so tempted to climb aboard and take another ride to oblivion.
‘Who needs that when I have you to look at?’ he answered all husky voice, stubble and smoky eyes. ‘You’re the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. And the way you move? The way you moan? They way you whisper sweet filth in my ear?’ He shook his head and laughed. ‘I can’t not get hard for you.’
‘You say the most charming things.’ She shimmied into the sheets, wanting him to come back to bed. She’d discovered her inner nympho.
‘I know.’ He grinned.
But to her horror he walked into the wardrobe.
‘Are you getting dressed?’ she asked, amazed. How would he ever get his trousers done up? And what was with the hurry? Didn’t he want to sleep? Didn’t he want to put that fine erection to use?
She heard his bark of laughter.
‘You’re in New York,’ he said. ‘You should be making the most of your time here.’
‘I am,’ she called after him. ‘I’ve already walked my own New York marathon. What more do I need?’
‘You should be experiencing all the city has to offer, not just walking past all the attractions.’
‘This is all your travel expertise coming out, huh?’ She rolled her eyes. ‘I’m experiencing local hospitality—getting to know one local very well. Isn’t that enough?’
‘No. There is so much to see and do. This is your holiday. And mine.’
She hesitated. Seriously? He didn’t just want to have a holiday in bed? ‘What did you have in mind?’
‘Don’t look so wary.’ He waggled his index finger at her. ‘It won’t cost anything.’
She steadfastly met his gaze. ‘There are different kinds of costs. Money is the least of my concerns.’
‘Really?’
A small sigh escaped her. ‘You still don’t understand. You had trouble over one news story, James. One. Do you have any idea how many headlines I’ve been in? None of them good.’ She forced herself to get up off the bed and stalked towards the bathroom. The guy was never going to get it.
‘You’re still worried about being spotted?’ He followed her, leaning against the doorframe. ‘Well, so what if you are? Why give a damn? Why not just get out there and lift your chin high and screw them all?’
She kept her back to him as she turned on the shower. ‘It’s not that easy—as well you know.’ She turned to face him. ‘You’re too scared to enter a new relationship for fear of the media finding out. Of someone letting you down.’
His mouth opened, shut, then opened again. ‘That’s not why I don’t want a relationship.’
‘No?’
‘Of course it’s not. I’m not that pathetic.’
He wasn’t? She stepped into the shower. ‘So why no relationship?’
He shrugged. ‘It doesn’t fit with my lifestyle. I’m away all the time. I’m never sure for how long or where I’m going to be going. It’s not fair to ask someone to keep home fires burning.’
Oh, please, that was the line he was spinning? ‘Military spouses do it all the time,’ she said, lathering up the shower gel. ‘SEALS go covert in all kinds of dangerous places, for who knows how long.’
‘It’s not going to work for me. I’m not going to ask someone to live their life like that for me. I’m not going to leave a family in the lurch if I happen not to come back. I’m not doing that to my kid.’
Raw vehemence tinged his voice, betraying emotion. A personal connection to the words? Who had he seen not come back?
She frowned as she rinsed off, wishing she were up close enough to see into his eyes. His family published the world’s most popular independent travel guides. His grandfather had started it, his parents were also intrepid travellers. He and his brothers had grown up with the world at their feet. They were the ultimate success story. Living the American dream—independent, ambitious and happy, right?
‘Maybe you wouldn’t travel so much when you’re settled. You’d take fewer risks,’ she said.
His expression shuttered, he reached for a towel and held it out to her. ‘I’m not changing my job for anyone. I’ll never stop doing what I do. And I’d never be able to compromise it, not for anyone.’
Caitlin stepped out of the shower and wrapped the large towel around her. ‘Work will always come first for you.’ A little patch in her chest ached, but she got it.
His stance stiffened and he crossed his arms, regarding her steadily. ‘I love my job. I need to—’
‘It’s okay.’ She smiled peaceably, walking back into the b
edroom. ‘You don’t have to justify it. I understand, I’ve seen it before. It’s what you’re driven to do.’
He regarded her, the defensiveness draining from his shoulders. ‘Who else do you know like that?’
‘My father. My sister.’ She shrugged. Nothing but work mattered to them—for different reasons. Her father because he sought the fame and the fortune and he’d do almost anything to get it. Her sister simply because she loved it. She loved losing herself in a character, into someone else’s life. Even better that the someone else wasn’t even real. Work was everything to them, coming ahead of anything and anyone else. Even family. That was the way it was.
Caitlin had thought she was okay with it. Over it. Until the Dominic mess. Until she’d been pilloried by the press and her family still hadn’t stepped up to defend her. That had just ripped the scab off the old wound. Now she found it festered.
Now she would never put herself in that situation again. No relationship, no man was worth being second to anything else in his life—certainly not career. No matter how heroic he might be.
But curiosity mounted as Caitlin sorted through the clothes in her suitcase—why was James so driven? The guy had money, she knew that. Hell, he probably wouldn’t have to work a day in his life if he didn’t actually want to. So what made him want to so much?
‘What led you into it,’ she asked. ‘You always wanted to be a doctor?’
‘I guess.’ He leaned against the wall, watching as she dressed. ‘One of those games we all play as kids, right?’
‘But why search and rescue specifically?’
‘I did a stint in emergency field work as part of my training and it just fit. I knew that’s what I wanted to do. I made sure that’s what I did. All my training from then on was directed that way.’
His reply was so glib, she was sure it was the PR answer again. The one he’d given many times when all those people wanted his story after that landslide photo. If she searched on his iPad she’d probably find the quote almost verbatim in one of those articles spotlighting him. But it didn’t seem to fully explain that deep drive—was there another reason he was compelled to work so much?
He walked up to her, suddenly turning her to face him.