Home For The Holidays

“May I come in?”

“Come on!” I patted the bed beside me and sat up against the pillows. He trudged across the room and plopped down on the bed the way he used to when we were younger, only this time there was a heaviness in the room that wasn’t there before.

* * *

TOM

* * *

What a mess; what an utter and absolute mess. But I’m stuck now. I’ve done and said too much to turn back, and only now that I’ve lost everything do I realize, now that it’s too late. I lost it all, destroyed my only chance at happiness with my own hands, and now I’m left with nothing but this constant knot in my gut

But the look in my little sister’s eyes out of everything else that’s happened so far is the one thing that shakes me to the core. We were once so close, as close as two siblings could be. And not only because of mom and dad’s coaching either, I genuinely love my sister and see her as one of my best friends, or I used to before everything went to hell.

It hurt me to the core and pissed me off to no end when she sided with Deidre in the divorce. That’s never happened before. We’ve always been on the same team, and she’s never sided with anyone against me. Now with time and a little more insight, I’m guessing I should’ve learned something from that.

But it’s too late now. Things done in anger cannot be undone no matter how I wish it were so. In the beginning, when I was presented with evidence of my ex’s affair, the betrayal had been so strong that her pleas of innocence fell on deaf ears time and again. I couldn’t stand to be in the same room as her. I didn’t want to hear her name mentioned.

It was easy to fall into bed with Tessa, get my revenge against Deidre that way for hurting me the way she did. But it didn’t take me long to regret that. Even if it was true that Deidre had cheated, even if we were meant to go our separate ways, Tessa is not the one for me. Too bad it had taken me this long to figure it out.

“Do you hate me?”

“Yes, not you per se, but your actions of late. You’re not the brother I know and love.” That’s something I miss in my life, her blunt honesty. So why is it that this last time I shut her out like I did with everyone else? Why was it so hard for me to hear their words of protest?

I now know that digital pictures can be doctored, something I knew, of course, but never assigned such a thing to the situation I was in. At the time, though, there was no reason for Tessa to lie about her best friend. And the way everything was presented to me, I just couldn’t see any ulterior motives behind her telling me the truth. Now I’m not so sure, not with my whole family against me like this and for so long.

I thought for sure as time went on that they’d come to see things my way, but that never happened, and now after what happened today, I feel even more like I’m losing myself. “I wouldn’t have hit you-you know.”

“I know, at least I think I know, but you’re not the same person anymore, so who knows what the hell you’d do.”

“You know the whole story, don’t you?”

“I do yes, or most of it. There’re still some things I have questions about. Like why are you so adamant that the twins are not yours?”

“That’s not my fault entirely. All Deidre had to do was agree to a paternity test when I asked.”

“I don’t blame her for telling you to fuck way the fuck off. That’s not something you ask your wife, who’s been faithful to you. How do you think she felt when you asked her that after everything else? I can give you a pass with the kissing pic because it did look a bit suspect, but you never even let her explain the situation.”

“Instead, you burned every bridge between you two to a cinder and alienated everyone who loves you in the process for that viper. What? You’re having second thoughts? Please tell me that you are because I really miss my big brother.” How can I answer that? How can I tell her the worries and fears that have been plaguing me here of late without sounding like the complete ass I’m beginning to feel like?

“You think I’m a fool, don’t you? I don’t blame you; I’m beginning to think that I’m pretty stupid myself.

“You’re not stupid. You’ve just been letting evil rent space in your head for the past two years.” Someone knocked on the door, and before either of us could say anything, the door was flung open, and Tessa was standing there.