Home For The Holidays

I stared at her blankly for a minute, not quite believing the nerve but also realizing that this wasn’t the first time she’d pulled a stunt like this. In fact, she’s been leading me around by my nose for the better part of two years. How had I not seen it before? I can blame the first year or so on the alcohol that I’d consumed to numb the pain of betrayal.

But what about after? This past year when I was finally getting myself back together again? What have I become that this woman would believe she had the power to drag me away from my family at this time of year? A time that I had assured her was the most important to my mother and was the reason for me refusing to go away like she wanted to for the holiday.

I shudder to think that even a day ago, I might’ve given in. Even though I’d come to accept that she wasn’t the woman for me, that I had no real feelings for her, I still felt like I owed her a debt of gratitude. And now? Now my eyes went to the stairs where I’d just left those two little girls that might be mine.

The thought made me want to throw up. This is part of my problem. If I accept that those girls are mine, then I have to accept that the last two years were a lie and that Deidre had been telling the truth when she said that that Troy guy had kissed her out of nowhere, that that day had been the first time she’d seen him since they broke up years earlier, before she met me.

How can I reconcile that truth with the one I believed for so long? I feel torn like something is pulling me apart from the inside. I was never the kind of man to walk away from my responsibilities, so how can I now accept that I believed a lie and destroyed my family? All these thoughts ran through my head as I looked at Tessa, who was awaiting an answer.

“Did Sam say something to you?” no doubt she’ll expect me to defend her, but I no longer have it in me. After our talk upstairs, I can see my sister’s point, and the things that pissed me off two years ago when my family decided to stay close to Deidre no longer seemed to matter.

Deidre! My heart hurt just thinking of her. There’ve been so many times in the last few months when I was tempted to go to her. I even dropped in on mom on days that I knew Deidre usually came by, but for some reason, she was never here. I’d been longing for the sight of her in the last two years, but not once has she let me see her. Now she’s out with some guy doing who knows what, and it’s killing me.

“You know very well your sister’s a bitch.” How did I convince myself that she could ever be part of my family? All this time and she hasn’t yet figured out that Samantha, the baby, is also part of the heart of the family. Her words only helped to further tear the veil from off my eyes. I think I messed up really bad here.

“Don’t talk about my sister like that.” Her look of surprise was satisfying but not nearly enough. “Now, why are you in such an all-fired rush to leave?” Before she could answer, dad came into the room with a very tall man who looked to be about my age, someone I’d never seen but who looked vaguely familiar. And then Sam made the introductions, and it all fell into place.

I hadn’t meant to blurt out what I did. Hadn’t meant to divulge the fact that I knew anything about her past because she had no idea that I’ve been looking. After I started coming to my senses, some of the things others, like my parents, my closest friends, and, of course, my sister had said, started playing over and over in my head.

Words of advice and warnings that I’d ignored because I was so sure that I was right came crashing down on me, and I decided it wouldn’t hurt to look. The PI was still on the job, but one of the things he’d found was her prior engagement. We weren’t sure that the Jared Macalister from her past was the reclusive billionaire and had no reason to believe that he was, but what are the chances that this guy standing in my parents’ great room isn’t him?

All eyes were on me now, but Sam, as usual since we were little, saved me; she saw the look of panic on my face, I guess. “I told him.” Only three people in the room knew she was lying, and thank heavens, one of them wasn’t Tessa. Jared didn’t change expression, but it was obvious he knew and, of course, Sam and I.