For the next hour, we move painstakingly through each problem that Professor Peters assigned this morning in class. Rowan scoots his chair closer until his thigh brushes against mine. I become hyperaware of his woodsy aftershave and the cedarwood scent of the shampoo he must have used after practice. The combination is oddly distracting, and I find myself leaning in to suck in a greedy lungful of him. When I catch myself doing it for the third time, I jerk away and refocus my thoughts.
The realization of why I’ve gone out of my way to avoid him hits me like a Mack Truck. He makes me feel things I’m not necessarily comfortable with. In the past, I’ve convinced myself that I found him annoying. Now that we’ve scratched beneath the surface of our relationship, I can finally admit that it’s not true. It was all a smokescreen. A way to keep myself separated from him. What I’ve come to understand is that I actually like Rowan.
More than I thought possible.
More than I want to.
And definitely more than I should.
Today, unfortunately, has been a day for revelations.
“There.” Unaware of the disturbing thoughts crashing around inside my head, Rowan slides the notebook toward me to check his work.
I blink and focus on the problem that swims before my eyes. It takes far more effort than necessary to work through the steps. “Yup,” I say, slightly rattled by the emotions flooding through me, “you got it.”
When the edges of his lips quirk, something dangerous pings at the bottom of my belly. His eyes darken, and my breath gets trapped at the back of my throat making it impossible to breathe. He draws closer until I’m able to decipher all the stunning flecks that make up the ocean-like color. Saturday night slams into my consciousness, and I recall what it felt like to be pressed against the steely strength of his body.
How I’d wanted him to kiss me, and the disappointment that had flooded through me when he backed away. The library, with its rows of shelves and desks that line the perimeter, fade to the background until it’s only the two of us. He’s all I see. All I’m aware of. My head turns fuzzy from lack of oxygen. It’s a strange sensation, but one that’s not entirely unpleasant. Almost like being drunk.
Everything in me becomes whipcord tight. Time stretches as the distance between us is eaten up. He’s so close that I can feel his warm breath as it drifts across my lips.
This is it. He’s going to kiss me.
And you know what?
I’m going to let him.
After all the crap today, I need it. I need to feel the firm pressure of his mouth coasting over mine, dragging me under so I no longer have to think. As my eyelids feather shut, a chirpy chorus of voices knock me from the strange paralysis that has taken hold.
“Hi, Rowan!”
I lurch back so fast that I almost give myself whiplash.
His gaze reluctantly shifts from me to the two girls who have sidled up beside our table. A smile curves his lips, but the intensity isn’t the same as the one that had been aimed in my direction. “Hey. What’s up?”
I release a steady puff of air and try to get a grip. My heart is thumping like it’ll explode from my chest. I can’t believe that almost happened. What the hell had I been thinking?
The brunette slinks closer, all the while flashing him a wide grin. Those pearly whites are nearly blinding in their intensity. She has the look of a hungry shark. I think we all know what she would like to gobble up in one tasty bite.
“Mandy and I were heading over to a party at the Sigma Kappa house.” She invades his personal space before fluttering a hand over his shoulder. “You should come with us.” She shoots her friend a sly look. “It’ll be so much fun!”
I know exactly what that look means. Apparently, the three of them know each other well.
Intimately so.
Since it’s doubtful an invitation will be extended my way, I take this as my cue to get the hell out of Dodge. It only goes to show what kind of day I had if Rowan Michaels was able to burrow beneath my skin so easily. I’ve spent the last seven years keeping the handsome football player at a distance. If I’ve learned anything today, it’s that I’m going to have to work a little harder to resurrect the walls that have been knocked down. Especially when he’s every inch of the player I suspected.
I don’t need someone like that in my life.
“That sounds fun but—”
Before he can get the rest out, I shoot to my feet. “I’m going to take off.”
“Wait—”
With my eyes averted, I shake my head. “I’ve still got my own work to finish up. I need to get moving.”