As I take a hasty step toward freedom, her voice halts me in my tracks. “Why don’t you stay here for the night?”
Surprised by the offer, I flick my gaze over my shoulder.
“It’s late,” she clears her throat, “I’ll sleep in Dad’s room, and you can take mine.”
No way. It’s a shit idea. The best course of action is to return home and drink enough to forget this incident ever transpired.
Blackout drunk is the new plan for the evening.
“All right, I’ll stay.”
Goddamn it.
I’d really like to kick my own ass right now.
20
Demi
I stare sightlessly at the ceiling as the conversation from earlier plays through my head as if it’s on a constant loop. There’s no way that Rowan Michaels is a virgin.
How is it possible that I’ve slept with more people than the campus player?
And to be clear, I’ve had sex with a whopping five guys.
Five.
That’s it.
No matter how many times I squeeze my eyes closed and try to turn off my thoughts, they refuse to be banished. They circle through my head like hungry sharks.
Aren’t you going to ask who the girl is?
Instead of having the balls to hear the truth, I’d shaken my head, too frightened to take the conversation any further. Deep down, I had known what it would be. Once everything was out in the open, there would be no going back. We would only be able to move forward. And I’m unsure how to do that.
In the hour since I left Rowan at the threshold of my childhood room, I’ve come to realize that I need to hear him say the name.
I need to hear him say my name.
Before I can reconsider the wisdom of my actions, I throw off the comforter and pad into the darkened hallway before arriving at my bedroom. I stumble to a halt when I find the door slightly ajar. I pause, tentatively laying a hand on the wood as my heart riots painfully under my breast. If I push the door open and step inside, everything will change. I’ll be forced to acknowledge that my feelings for Rowan have always been smoldering beneath the surface, waiting for the chance to break free.
Am I ready for that?
The tiny voice at the back of my brain tells me to run before it’s too late. But I can’t do that. This feels much too important to back away from. With trembling fingers, I reach out and push the heavy wood door wider before stepping over the threshold and into the dark space.
A fresh wave of nerves crashes over me, threatening to drag me under. It takes everything I have inside to force out the question. “Are you awake?”
“Yup.” As my eyes adjust to the darkness, I realize his hands are stacked behind his head.
I take a cautious step toward the bed. It’s like there is a magnet drawing me to him. One I can’t escape from.
“Who?” Even though it’s only one word that falls from my lips, he understands the question. And the gravity behind it.
As he straightens to a seated position, the sheet slithers down his bare chest before settling around his waist.
“I think you already know the answer.” There’s a pause. “Don’t you?”
Yes.
When he extends his hand, it never occurs to me not to close the distance. I find myself gravitating toward him before carefully placing my fingers in his. As soon as his hand fastens around mine, he tugs me toward the bed until I’m settled on the mattress next to him.
“In case there was ever an ounce of doubt, it’s always been you, Demi.”
My heart melts. As much as I’ve tried ignoring him, thick tension has always smoldered in the air between us. It’s the reason I was so intent on keeping my distance. I was afraid to open up and let someone in.
Especially a guy like Rowan.
It doesn’t seem possible that one little secret has the power to change everything, but that’s exactly what it’s done.
Rowan draws back the sheet, and without hesitation, I slide beneath it, curling up beside him until my head can rest against his chest.
“I don’t understand how you could wait for something,” I glance at him, “or someone if you weren’t sure it would ever happen.”
Silence descends as he wraps his arm around me and tugs me closer.
“I never set out to wait; it just kind of happened. I’ve always had feelings for you, and even though there’s been plenty of other girls, they never held my interest. It seemed pointless to be with another girl when you were the one I couldn’t stop thinking about.”
Emotion explodes inside me, and I shift, maneuvering until my face can hover over his. “I’m not sure what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. As embarrassing as it is to admit I’m still a virgin at twenty-one, it was more important you understand that I’m nothing like Justin.”