“Yeah.” She nodded, glad when a barman came down to take their orders. She needed a long, long drink.
That awkward silence returned while the guy fetched their beers—and it lasted. She watched the condensation form on her bottle and a single trickle start down the side. She couldn’t think of any more polite chat. And she didn’t want to ask about the personal, let alone know why he’d brought her here at all.
“I called Brooke about twenty minutes ago.”
“You did?” She nearly fell off the stool. “How’d that go?”
“We’re gonna meet up for coffee.” He cleared his throat. “I apologized for ignoring her the other night. Told her I was fighting for the love of my life. I just hadn’t known it at the time. It wasn’t a lie. She understood.”
Abbi’s mouth opened and shut, goldfish style.
“I was thinking you and I never really did have that first date,” he said quietly. “That baseball game didn’t count.”
She swiveled on her stool to look at him directly. “We weren’t really supposed to have a date though, were we?” She placed her clammy hand on the beer bottle to center herself. “We just had a kind of arrangement.”
He frowned. “I think that was a mistake.”
His words stabbed the fantasy bubble that had been building. He regretted it? Regretted everything they’d done together?
“Lifelong learning. Isn’t that what it’s all about these days?” he asked. “Six lessons were never going to cut it. Hell, we never really got to know each other. Well,”—he nudged the coaster away from him—“I never really got to know you. You didn’t much let me.”
Surprised, she said nothing.
“You never told me anything, Abbi. Nothing much about your life—what you like, what you don’t like. I don’t even know how you like your coffee. All you were interested in from me was how to get good in bed.”
And that bothered him? Was he angry with her? She frowned, stunned, then tried to explain it.
“All those articles said not to be boring, not to go on about yourself,” she offered lamely. “To be interested and ask lots of questions about him.”
“Forget the fucking articles, Abbi, and talk to me.”
She swallowed. Yep, angry. “Okay, what do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
She froze.
“I mean it,” he said, husky and quiet and fast. “I want to know your thoughts, your feelings. I want to know your plans for the future, what you like to eat for dessert, what kind of books you like, or music or movies. I want to know the things that make you sad or mad. Most of all I want to know whether you’ve missed me as much as I’ve missed you this last day.” He lifted his head. “Has it only been a day? It feels like fucking forever.”
Abbi stared at him, unable to think for her pulse thundering in her ears. “You—”
“I’ve missed you so much. I want you back.”
Back like how? Like his little willing and available-anytime sex student, or something more?
He leaned close in to her. “Because here’s what I do know about you. You’re gorgeous—whether you’re in a vixen dress or jeans and tee. You’re loyal, funny, kind. You listen. You laugh. You’re diligent. You’re strong. You’re sweet. You’re smarter than any one person has a right to be. You’re quiet but you’re playful. You’re loving. You’re kind. You care. You make my life better.”
Her stupid eyes were watering.
“You wanted to learn…I dunno. How to let go?” he asked. “I’m the master of meaningless sex. But it wasn’t meaningless with you. I wanted more from you than I’ve ever wanted from anyone. And that freaked me out. I need to learn how to love. Because I don’t have a hell of a lot of experience with it.” His voice tightened. “I find it a hard concept to…trust.”
“Joe,” she whispered. “I won’t let you down. I won’t let you go.”
He leaned closer still, resting his forehead on hers. “I thought I had it all together. Thought my life was perfect. I pursued my dream, made money, found a new dream when the first ended. And it was all coming together so well. I didn’t think anything was lacking. I had women when I wanted them, a great business…”
She stared at him, his eyes so close, his need palpable.
“But it’s not enough.”
“You want more?”
“More than want. Need. I need you. Need to get to all of you. I want to spend a really, really long time getting to know you.”
“How long?”
“As long as you’ll let me. I’m thinking at least sixty-five years.”
His hand encapsulated hers. Large, strong, holding her so securely. Tears splashed down her face. Damn.
“Abbi?”
He wanted her. Needed her. Like, for a long time. He liked her.
“I’d like to get to know you better, too,” she whispered. “Very much.”
He squeezed her hand. “Then we have ourselves a plan?”
She nodded and flicked away the river of tears that had escaped. “So this is like, our first date?”
The most gorgeous smile broke over his face. “Sure.”
Absolute happiness poured through Abbi and she smiled back at him, tears and all. “Are we going to have sex on our first date?”
He put down the bottle he hadn’t had a single sip from, a laugh bursting from him. “Ah, you are only interested in one thing from me.”
She giggled too as the tension broke. “I’m interested in everything about you, too. But though you’ve taught me well, I do think that practice makes perfect. We can practice all kinds of intimacy.”
“I’m convinced.” He stood, swiftly wrapping his arm around her shoulder to haul her close.
“It’s getting pretty late…” She looked up at him coyly.
“Time to head home?”
Her bed felt way too far away.
“You know a lot of people have sex in a car on their first date,” she said as soon as they got outside.
“You’re getting confused with having sex for the first time.” He laughed.
“Whatever. I’ve never had sex in a car. And I want to.” Back in the day she’d wanted to have sex with him anywhere, anyhow. Wanted him to be her first. And in so many ways he was.
And yeah, back in the day, a car might have featured in her secret dreams. It might be a few years late, but she was totally fulfilling the fantasy. And the thing was, she was fulfilling it from here on in. All with him.
“A car.” He looked momentarily pained as he unlocked his. “You do realize I have long legs, right? And that backseat is nonexistent.”
“So you’ll struggle to move?” she asked innocently. “Oh well. Perhaps you should just put your seat belt on and let me do the driving.”
“Vixen.” He moved so quickly she had her back pressed against the door and
her breasts crushed by his chest before she could blink. She could feel his cock, feel the barely leashed energy within his rigid body as he leaned hard into her.
So good, so strong, she melted into hot, wet readiness in a heartbeat.
But his hands were so gentle as he framed her face, tilting it so she could look right into his eyes—and he could look into hers. “I’m so sorry I hurt you last night.”
“I hurt you too. I shouldn’t have ripped into you like that.”
“I needed it. I need you.”
He kissed her. The merest brush of lips. A tease. A question. An answer.
Abbi lifted her chin and kissed him right back. Opening her mouth to breathe him in, she reveled in the hungry, possessive stab of his tongue, and sucked him hard—until he drew back with a sharp breath. But his arms tightened.
Not letting her go. Never letting her go. Loving her, just for her.
Best first base ever.
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Acknowledgments
First up I really need to thank the team at Entangled for working with me on this book-- Liz, Heather, Shannon, Candace, Erin, Curtis and Pat Anderson... thank you so much for your expertise and your patience!
Nicola and Soraya, I’d be lost without your emails where you crack the whip!
And I’d never get a thing written without the support of my husband, my mom and my kids. You guys are so awesome.
I’d also like to thank Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo and Robert Downey Jr for continuing to provide me with unlimited inspiration. The number of times I’ve worked with you guys on screen in the background? It’s craaaaazeee. But so much fun ;)