Max never misses a trick. “Yeah, buddy.” I rub the back of my neck before rolling it. The cracking sound always makes Max gag, which makes me laugh.
“Do you gotta do that? Jesus!”
I laugh loudly. This kid means everything to me. All my siblings mean everything to me, but Max is like my little buddy. He followed me everywhere when he was a baby. Max loved Willow, but it was me he wanted to be around a lot. He seems much older than he really is. Old headed as my grandmother used to say. He'll be a good man when he's older, a better man than me.
“Seriously, though, do you think you'll ever get to be in your kid's life?”
“If I have anything to do with it.” I won't give up. I can't give up. The love I feel for something that isn't even here yet is out of this world. My whole heart is full.
“You won't do anything stupid, will you?” I turn my head to look at him. He pushes her long hair out of his eyes. “I know how much it must hurt being pushed out of your baby's life, but please don't do anything that will get you killed. I need you, Jett.”
I grab the back of his neck and bring him toward me. I kiss his head and let him go. “I'm not going anywhere, Max. You're too young to understand what's going on, but I can't walk away from my child.”
“Or their mother?”
I sigh before taking a chug of my beer. I hang my head as I swallow. “I don't know what to tell you, Max.”
“The truth.” The truth. I don't even know what that is myself right now. “Everyone and his dog thinks you're doing this because you have something to prove. That you want Maria because you can't have her.”
“Do they now.” It's not a question. Fuckin' assholes don't think much of me. Then again, I never gave them a reason in the past to think I could be serious about any woman. However, I'm damn serious about Maria and our baby.
“It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, Jett. I know you have feelings for her. If you didn't, you wouldn't be sitting out here alone thinking about her. Thinking of way you can be together. It's not just for the baby; it's because you've fallen for her. That's why you really sneak over the wall of the Vidal's compound.”
“It's not a compound.” I laugh.
“Whatever it is. My point is, baby or not there's no way you're reckless enough to risk your life just to sleep with Maria now and again.” I almost choke on my damn beer! What the hell? “I know you're not that stupid, Jett. You wouldn't leave us like that. Maria means something to you. She's in your heart, and you don't know yet how to deal with it.”
“Got all worked our, huh, little brother?”
He smirks at me while nodding his head. “I know you, Jett. I know nothing anyone says will stop you trying to be with Maria. Just be careful, okay? Remember that you have a big family who loves you, a family who needs you. We're all here for you, Jett. We always will be.”
This fuckin' kid talks too much sense for a child. He also knows how to pull on my heartstrings. “Don't worry, Max, nothing is going to happen to me. I promise.”
“You shouldn't make promises you can't keep.”
I roll my eyes.
I love VJ, but he's not yet learned the concept of sparing other peoples feelings. He'll out you even for a little white lie, then repeatedly question why you'd do such a thing in the first place.
VJ is already almost six-feet tall, already gaining muscle. He's a lot like I was at his age. He's a Jackson all right.
He drops down on the grass, his knees against his chest, arms around them. He's watching us with fascination. Dark blue eyes looking back at two sets of sky blue eyes. Dad swears blind that VJ's eye color reflects the monster within him. Each one of us, apart from Sophie and Willow, have light blue eyes like our father. Sophie's are green like Mom's, and Willow's are hazel like our grandmothers.
Then there's VJ. Dark blue eyes, a sinister smile, and evil on his mind. This boy will hurt you in any way he sees fit, and he'll think nothing of it. He'll get away with it too because he's just that damn smart. It isn't normal for a kid who isn't even fifteen to know how to get away with evil deeds.
Roman always laughs and tell us how VJ will be a great asset to the club when he's of age. Dad disagrees and swears blind the kid could be our downfall. If Dad has his way, VJ will never be a Snakes Henchmen.
I can see both sides of the coin. Either VJ will be the craziest, most loyal biker out there, or he'll get himself, and the rest of us killed.
I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
“Why don't you just take off with her? Get a hacker to tap into Vidal's security system and knock out the CCTV. Sneak into his house while everyone is asleep, end Vidal, take your girl.” He shrugs like what he's just said is perfectly normal for a kid of his age.
“Don't be so stupid!” I hiss in anger. I don't want him thinking things like that, let alone saying them! “There are bigger factors involved, and I'm not talking about any of them with my little brothers!”
“You need to lighten up. Go sneak over that wall and fuck your girl before her husband gets his hands on her.”
I fist my hands so tightly the knuckles pop from the force of it. I would never hit my little brother, he's a kid, but he's a tactless little cunt. “You watch your damn mouth, boy. Don't push it, VJ.”
“I'll say whatever the hell I want. While you're sitting here drinking beer and talking to Max about how you want to stay in your kid's life, Maria is in her room counting the seconds until she marries some other asshole. Either do something about it or let it go. Either way, you're turning into a jerk.”
“Why you little...”
“VJ!”
I'm fuming. I've never wanted to punch the little shit as much as I do right now! I watch the little fucker smirking at me, ignoring Dad, who must have come out just in time to hear what VJ just said. He's pushing my buttons, trying to see how far he can go before I snap. This is what he does. This is how he gets his kicks. Not with me, he won't.
I get out of my seat, toss my bottle of beer in the trash, and leave. I don't say anything to anyone. I just need to get out of here. There really is something fuckin' wrong with me if my little brother has the ability to get to me like this.
What the fuck is happening to me?
I feel like I'm going insane. I need to speak with Vidal. I need to appeal to him in any way I can. How will I get near him?
I guess Hammer is my only hope.
“I've never asked you for a thing in my life, but I'm asking you now. Help me, Hammer. Help me stop this wedding.”
Hammer raises his eyebrow at me from his seat at his dining table. I knew I'd find him at home. Willow has been a little unwell the past couple days, and Hammer has been taking care of her. I got here ten minutes ago and went straight in with what I needed from him.
“What makes you think I want my sister with you?”
“I know you pretend not to give a damn about her, Hammer, but you're not that fuckin' heartless. She's terrified. She doesn't want to marry this guy. I'm not saying I'm the best man for her, but she'd be safe with me. She'd be happy. So would our baby. Are you honestly going to sit back and allow another man to raise my kid? To let Draven push me out or even kill me to keep me away from her?”
Hammer shifts in his seat, eyes narrow as he stares me down. He's not saying anything. I'm fuckin' desperate here! Hammer is my last hope. I can't go to Vidal myself because he'd never see me. He'd have me killed before I got through the damn gates. Even if I snuck in through Maria's window, he'd kill me. He's just the kind of bastard who'd make her watch too.
“I don't know what you expect me to do, Jett. You think I haven't spoken to Draven about this? I have. Plenty. Nothing will change his mind about this.”
“Whatever you did to make him let Ghost go, to let him and Avery be together, do that. Do anything!”
He pulls in a deep breath. “It won't work, Jett. This isn't like Ghost and Avery. You went after Maria knowing whom she was, knowing the hell Ghost went through, an
d you didn't care, and why didn't you? Because you thought with your dick as always.”
“Fuck you, Hammer!” He's right though, I did think with my dick. I saw her, wanted her, had her. I didn't think of the consequences, all I thought about was fucking her all night long. She was so beautiful that I couldn't help myself. I didn't even think about what it would mean for Maria if anybody found out she'd been with me.
I'm an awful person. I know I am. However, do I really deserve to be cut out like this?
Maria is a good person, a sweet, strong woman who doesn't deserve to be forced into a loveless marriage because of me, and this is because of me. No, I didn't hold a gun to her head and force her to come with me that night. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. However, the fact remains, I should never have so much as stood beside her.
I could have chosen any woman there that night; it didn't have to be Maria. However, I'd be a fucking liar if I said she wasn't the most beautiful woman there that night. That smile of hers, and the way she smelled drew me in, and I was hooked.