My mind starts playing tricks on me.
What if none of this real?
What if he's just saying he wants to be with me in order to get me to go to the safe house?
He wouldn't do that to me, right?
I drop my eyes. I suddenly have a sinking feeling. This was all a trick to get me to agree. How could he play on my emotions like that? That was so cruel.
“You didn't have to do this to get me to go to the safe house, Hammer. You didn't need to play on my feelings for you.”
With his hand under my chin, he lifts my head. He's smiling at me, his eyes looking deep into mine. “Baby girl, I didn't do this to get you to go. Well, it was part of it,” I frown. He laughs. “Darlin', this has been a long time coming. You know it has. We belong together, Willow. There is no doubt about that in mind.”
“There isn't?” He really means what he's saying? He really wants to be with me?
“No,” He smiles and strokes my cheek with the back of his hand. “It may have taken me a while to realize it, but you are everything, Willow.” I bite my lower lip and smile. My heart is beating a little harder. “I want you safe, baby girl. If anything ever happened to you again, I don't know what I'd do, Will.”
His eyes close, and I see his pain. It still hurts and haunts him what happened to me, what he had to do to save me.
I wish I could take that memory away from him.
I wish I could erase his mind of all the pain he's been through these past few years.
But I can't do that. In order for a person to move forward, they have to live through all the pain. Hiding from it will never make it easier. Facing up to it is the only thing that will.
I take his hand from my face and kiss his palm. “I'll go. I promise I will. You'll be there too though, right?”
“Every evening after I'm done with club business.” He tucks my hair behind my ear. “I promise you, I will not leave you alone.”
“Okay, I'll go. As long as you'll be there, so will I.” He pulls me into his arms and holds me so damn tight. I cling to him and breathe him in. He smells of aftershave, sweat, and man. God, it makes my head dizzy.
I can do this for him. I can go to the safe house with the others.
I don't know what's going on with the club, but if the guys are worried enough to send their women and kids to the safe house, then I know it must be something bad.
Who am I to argue with my old man when I know he just wants me safe?
I could just squeal with happiness right now! He's finally mine and I could just cry with relief. I wasn't imagining it, it's not just me, he feels something for me too.
You're a lucky girl, Willow.
I know that I am.
Chapter Eight
Hammer
Convincing her to be my girl was almost too easy, anybody would think she'd wanted it forever. For all I know, what people told me is true, she has. But I'm only just realizing the looks she's always thrown my way really did mean a lot more than I thought they did.
I never noticed much before – Lies – because she was the little sister of my brother's best friend, the daughter of the man who took my brother and me in when our parent's died. Then she was the best friend of the woman I loved.
Somewhere along the line, I fell for her. Loving Willow doesn't mean I'll ever forget Cindy and what we had. No. She'll always have a place in my heart, a place where I'll keep her safe. But Willow needs me now, she needs my love and guidance. And the truth is? I need her too.
She was a little worried thinking I was tricking her just to get her to go to the safe house. I would never do that to her. There's no way I'd claim her just to get her to do what I wanted. I want her and I won't deny it any longer.
“Thank God your t-shirt is so long.” She giggles as she walks out of the bathroom adjoined to my bedroom, her head down as she pulls at the middle of the shirt she just changed into.
I managed to convince her to stay here with me tonight, even if it is just to hold her while we sleep. I don't want her to go anywhere tonight. I need her here with me, in my arms. I've waited long enough to feel her in my arms.
God, I can't help smiling at her from my seat on the edge of my bed. Those perfectly toned, olive tanned legs leading up to... Damn.
“What?” She asks quietly, nervously, while tucking a strand of brown hair behind her ear.
“Come here, baby girl.” She takes my outstretched hand and I pull her gently onto my lap. Her perfect curves mold against me like she was made just for me. In all honesty, I'm not sure she wasn't. “Don't be nervous, we don't have to do anything you're not ready for.”
Even if my dick is straining to get out.
Sonofabitch doesn't care what my brain is telling him. It's been a damn long time since I got my dick wet. It's like he knows that this woman is my soul mate – can you find your soul mate twice? – and it needs her as much as I do.
Yes, I said that. Soulmate. I loved Cindy with all my heart, if she was still here, we'd still be together. But she's not here, and this beautiful woman in my lap right now is without a doubt my soul mate.
God, gave this beautiful woman to me, he gave me a second chance at love. He gave me my soul mate, and nothing and no one is gonna take her away from me. She's the one I won't survive without. I die right along with her.
I barely survived losing Cindy, but I know that I came through it because Willow was in my life, showing me that I had to carry on. Losing Willow would ruin me. Literally.
She's mine now. Mine, and I will protect her with my life.
Shepard might have my balls on a platter for this, but it'll be worth it. Willow is worth it all.
She wraps her little arms around my neck. My petite little lady. So small compared to the monster that I am. “I'm sorry, I just never thought this would happen.” She motions between us. “Don't get me wrong, I wanted it to happen. But...” She lowers her head.
This girl never could keep anything from me, not really. I blame the grief for the fact I didn't see it sooner. But right now, I know what's bothering her.
I reach behind her neck and unclip the choker she wears to hide the scar along her throat. Her whole body stiffens, scared, nervous. As soon as I remove it, she lowers her head in shame. She has nothing to be ashamed of.
“Don't hide.” I tilt her chin up. Ah damn, her eyes are glistening with unshed tears. I'm not trying to hurt her and make her cry, merely show her that she is perfect in every way. I grip her throat so gently, I'm hardly touching her. She whimpers a little, but I need her to see that she's safe with me, I will never hurt her. Nor will I let anyone else hurt her again.
I slide my thumb along the length of her scar. It's not huge, but it's big enough. Too big for any woman to have. Too big for a little girl like Willow. It's still slightly swollen, but it's healing nicely. Thank God.
“You never have to hide, Willow.”
“I just don't want people to stare at me. He may not have cut me deep enough to immediately kill me, but he left enough damage behind to last me a lifetime.”
“Battle scars, baby.” I stroke her jaw with my thumb and she smiles. “This scar is part of you now, Will. If you really don't want others to see it, then that's fine, but I won't have you hide from me. You don't need to hide from me.”
She smiles and lays her pretty little head on my shoulder. I'm a huge monster of a man, Willow is short, petite, even though she believes herself to be a big girl, she isn't. Yeah, she's curvy. But fuck, stick thin women just don't get my dick jumpin', I like to feel a woman's curves when I'm fuckin' her. Willow is perfect. Perfect for me. But shit if I don't feel like I'm holding a fuckin' china doll.
God, if I was any kind of bastard I'd fuck the shit outta her right now. If she was any other woman, I would. But she's Willow and I want to do this right. No matter how long it takes, I'll wait. Hell, I haven't had sex in over two years, a little while longer isn't gonna kill me.
I try to repress a groan when she kisses the sid
e of my neck. My cock is now wide awake. It hasn't been this awake in a very fucking long time. Her little hand slides up and down my chest, I grab her hand sharply. “I'm sorry.” She whispers while lifting her head from my shoulder.
I take her chin in my hand and smile at how fucking beautiful she really is. “Don't be sorry, baby. I'm just trying to be a gentleman here.”
She bursts out laughing. “Oh, Hammer. You're a big bad outlaw biker, not a gentleman.”
I gently lay her down on my bed. Her head on my pillow. Her big hazel eyes are wide and looking right into mine. “You think I can't be a gentle man?”
She strokes my face with her fingertips and I feel it all the way to the tip of my aching cock. “I know you can.” She says softly. Her eyes are locked with mine. Held strong and tight.
Something is shifting between us, something amazing is happening. I can feel it in my gut. My heart is pounding in the best way. I can't stop looking at her, etching everything about her into my brain. Her soft, flawless skin, her big hazel eyes, her full lips, even that damn scar on her neck.
“Hammer?”