The Darkest Warrior (Lords of the Underworld 14)

I keep what's mine.

Now I spend my time targeting bad guys: rapists, molesters, and abusers of any kind. Anyone who hurts women and children, really. I'm a killing machine, and I'm living my dream. In fact, I relish the kill almost as much as the magic.

Is that bad? That's probably bad. What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? This girl. (I mean, who will have two thumbs after she regrows the one she just lost? This girl!) If anyone could appreciate my sentiment about villain-like tendencies, it's you, right?

We're changing Amaranthia bit by bit. We've built an orphanage, as well as a shelter for women. Though many men have tried to stop us, no one has managed to slow us.

Once, I wanted to be normal. Foolish! Why settle for normal when you can be extraordinary? Pucky, this girl loves her life! Except for--well, it's none of your business.

Oh, and the squad I mentioned? We started an all-star clan of our own. We're the Shawazons, and we rock the house. Cameron is our studly mascot, and he's obsessed with making us the greatest clan in history. Winter is my second in command. The darling girl has only tried to overthrow me six times, but I outwitted her each and every one, and we later had a good laugh about 'em. I know Selfishness is responsible. Demons are the worst!

The Shawazons are made up of freed stable members, former prostitutes, survivors of abuse--basically anyone other clans have deemed "unworthy." These people are my family.

Recently I promoted two of my best soldiers to general. Wait till you meet them. Johanna and Rosaleen got our backs, and we've got theirs. Girl power!

Uh-oh. I better go. Winter is shouting for me, and that only happens when disaster is about to strike. Or she wants me to clean her tent. Or brush her hair. Or find her shoes.

Commander Gillian Connacht

PS: I've renamed you Pucky the Lucky because you're married to me. Face it. I'm AMAZING!

201 years AB

Dear Puck,

Dang it, where are you? You said you'd be back by now. I'm not missing you or anything--definitely not dreaming about our kiss every night--so don't go getting a big head. But come on! I'm ready to divorce you and start dating again. Or for the first time. Whatever! Gotta have experience before William gets here, right???

Here's the deal. I've never trusted men. I've always freaked out when things got intimate, except for--it doesn't matter. I'm finally at a place where I want... I want.

Winter says she'll help me pick a man because she's Selfishness, and she selfishly wants me happy. (Yes, she loves me more than she loves you.) She even wrote up a single's ad: Magic warrioress on the battlefield looking for Magic Mike in the bedroom. A total catch! Prone to murderous fits of rage. Gorgeous, sometimes plays nice. House-trained. Comes with an even better best friend.

If only Amaranthia had a daily paper!

Okay, okay. I'm not a cheater, so I won't be going on any dates until we get that divorce. I really, really want a divorce, Puck. Please hurry home.

It's not you, I promise; it's me realizing I'm better off without you. I'm sure there are plenty of single ladies out there, just waiting to stare into your blank eyes and never receive a compliment or any kind of encouragement. And okay, yes, I know only a few hours, days or weeks have passed for you, but two centuries have passed for me. My Hulk-outs are getting worse, and I could use an outlet for excess energy.

Besides, you're better off with me. I recently learned the down and dirty about your prophecy, how your loving queen is supposed to help you unite the clans and all. Loving queen? Nope. Not me. And I've managed to cause irreparable friction between every clan.

Nowadays the only thing they have in common is their abhorrence for me. I've killed their men, stolen their magic and helped their women escape gilded cages. The Shawazons have even taught other clanswomen to demand respect from their men--or else.

You're welcome, genitalmen.

BTW. Everyone calls me Gillian the Dune Raider now. How awesome is that?!

Gillian Connacht Shaw, Dune Raider

PS: Puck is getting chucked.

300 years AB

Dear Puck,

Where are you??? You said you'd be back by now.

Whatever. Doesn't matter. Your delay is going to cost you regardless. Consider yourself officially separated. FYI I won your friends and all of your possessions in the settlement.

But dang it, I still can't date other men. Stupid bond! Maybe I despise you again. I'm more than ready to cross sex off my never-never list, but because of you, I can't. I can't move on with my life in any way.

So I'll ask again. Where are you? What happened to you? I know you were injured earlier, because pain exploded through my head for no apparent reason, and a cold sensation wrapped around my wrist. Then...nothing.

Look, I'm worried about you, okay, and I do not like to worry. Worry distracts and drains.

Note to self: find a way to break the bond without Puck's shears.

Wait a sec. The shears. You plan to use them after William helps you murder Sin...which means you must have already found the shears...which means you've hidden them somewhere in Amaranthia.

Well, well. If you have 1 pair of shears, and your wife has 0 pairs of shears, your wife now has 1 pair of shears and you have 0.

New goal: Find the shears, even if I have to flash into a volcano to retrieve them.

Oh, did I forget to mention I can flash? It happened accidentally the first, oh, bazillion times, and I vomited whenever I reached my destination, but I've since mastered the skill.

Winter tells me not to get too attached to the ability because magic comes and goes so quickly--and she plans to steal mine--but I'm enjoying the ride.

Gillian the Dune Raider

PS: Puck's gonna get his shears plucked.

343 years AB

Dear Puck,

Winter was right. I lost my ability to flash when my supply of magic got low.

I visited the Oracles, hoping to discover eternal magic. Before the three even deigned to speak to me, I had to offer a token of my appreciation. (You might have noticed that I cut off my hand with my middle finger extended. I'm sweet like that. What do they do with all the body parts people give them, anyway? I'm imagining steaming caldrons with eye of newt or something.)

The Oracles told me three things, and none of them about magic.

(1) The man I love has a dream, and I will kill it.

(2) I must choose between what could be and what will be.

(3) A happy ending is not in my future.

I'm not gonna worry about #1, because you're never coming back with William, and he's the only one who could ever tempt me to fall in love. (That's right. I went there.) As for #2, I have no idea what it means, so I've decided to consider it absolute hogwash. And #3? Screw the Oracles. I'm going to prove them wrong.

>

And when I do, you'll know you can prove them wrong about YOU. You don't need William's help to overthrow Taliesin Connacht. You can do it on your own. Or I can do it for you, if the price is right. So come home and set me free already.

Gillian the Dune Raider

PS: Puck sucks

405 years AB

Dear Puck,

You STILL haven't returned, and I still haven't found the shears, which makes me wonder if the Oracles were right, and I'm destined to have an unhappy ending after all. What if I'm forever stuck with an absentee husband, a visiting demon, Hulk-rages, and no love life?

I'm being wooed, Puck. Wooed! By soldiers, princes, even kings. Yep, you read that right. Mating season has hit Amaranthia, and I'm the novelty at the top of everyone's Hit It list.

At first, everyone wanted to capture or kill me. I even received Trojan horse-type gifts: poisonous flowers, notes with evil spells, and assassins. You know, the usual. When the whole capture-kill thing failed, guys started sending me all kinds of romantic crap. Gold, jewels, fruit from their private orchards, tents, cattle and magic. Well, not magic, exactly, but men for me to slay so I can tap into their magic like a beer keg. In that regard, I'm always happy to oblige.

The only leader who hasn't shown any interest in me is your brother.

I haven't purposely avoided Sin or anything, but I've only come across him twice. He built a massive compound on Connacht land and created some sort of maze around it. His people are forbidden to leave. Other clans must survive the maze to get inside. I've heard horror stories about monsters, tests of strength and endurance, puzzles, and total mind-screws.

The first time I saw Sin, I knew he was your brother without being told. He looks a lot like you. Same long, dark hair--sans razors--same dark eyes.

I'm sure most women consider him the beauty of the family--because Winter has mentioned it about a thousand times. To me, he's not as striking. (Tell the truth. My compliment made you jizz your pants.) Plus, he doesn't have horns. Or furry legs. Or hooves. Not that I'm digging on those or anything. It's just, winter has come--the season, not the woman--and I remember how toasty warm you are.

Not that I want to cuddle with you or anything.