Not that she could ever ignore the problems in Sylvan. Why had her cousin never considered ending the slavery? Or her parents?
Though Lila needed to right these wrongs, she didn't know how to start. How could she expect to figure out a solution for an entire fey kingdom when she couldn't even untangle her own life?
She planned to ask Abyssian for his advice--once she'd disclosed all. One obstacle at a time.
He tightened his wing around her, buffering her from the gale. Turmoil rolled off him like those waves. She could relate.
I'm really falling for him.
Whenever he was in a good mood--and she could ignore her secrets for a time--they laughed and played. Each night when she drifted off to sleep within his wings, he would rasp Demonish endearments. Last night he'd told her, "I didn't know my heart could beat this madly or grow this full."
With her loneliness finally at bay, she'd never been happier. In fact, she couldn't imagine a life without him.
She didn't want to lie to him anymore. She wanted to protect him, to ease the worry on his brow. Yet she still hadn't fitfo'd their relationship.
Other worries plagued her as well. The castle still gave her those dreams about Bambi, the same scene at the desolate cliff. But for the last three times, the fawn had expected her to follow it off the edge.
Each time, she'd balked. What would happen if she refused Graven a fourth?
The winds gusted even harder. Surf crashed, pelting Abyssian's wings. Foam floated in the air. He seemed not to notice it.
"Abyssian, why are we walking instead of tracing?"
"Increases suspense." And for my next trick . . .
What if he'd already discovered her real identity? Her gaze widened. One of his visitors this morning might have brought word about her!
She'd continued picking up on the demon's stray thoughts, but what if she tried to listen? Closing her eyes, she concentrated. . . .
--CLAIM POSSESS MARK.--
Her eyes flashed open, and she yanked herself away. Whoa. His mind was a battle zone, his demonic instincts uprising. No wonder he was troubled.
She'd hoped he would be calm and controlled for the deed. But the longer she waited . . .
Maybe we should take this step before he gets worse?
He guided her off the beach toward the base of a mountain that meandered down almost to the sea. He escorted her into a darkened cave, releasing her inside.
She scanned the area. Faint light shone from an opening above. The wind and waves rocked the mountain. Spray hissed inside. "What is this place?" It looked like a regular cave to her.
He gazed up at the opening and waved a hand. Clouds dissipated, like stage curtains drawn back.
The full moon appeared. Light flared down into the cave, illuminating thousands of . . . diamonds. "Oh, my gods." They studded the cavern ceiling like a starlit sky and twinkled from the walls. "This is the diamond volcano!" Abyssian had told her about it. Dormant now, this vent had once been a perfect storm for creating stones.
She raised her hand to one of the infinite streams of light. "Demon, this is amazing." Abyssian was such a fierce warrior, yet he'd taken her to see this wonder.
She'd been looking for clarity and illumination about their relationship; diamondlight beams surrounded her.
Is this my sign?
He didn't share her giddiness, still just as restless. He opened his mouth to speak. Closed it. Tried again: "Why are you holding back from me?"
Because there's no solution! "What do you mean?" Specifically.
"You won't surrender to me, to our life." He swiped a palm over his weary face. "Why haven't you asked me to claim you?"
"I've been nervous." Not a lie.
He narrowed his eyes. "You spoke of an annulment. Perhaps you still think to walk away from this marriage?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You're pulling away from me, and it's making me insane! Tell me why."
"Why?" She exhaled, feeling just as frustrated as he was. "Because I can't figure out how to make our relationship work."
"That is what you've been musing?" His lips parted, as if she'd struck him. "We are the conundrum? And your incisive mind can't determine a solution for us to be together?"
"We have so many obstacles. The Morior and Rune and our species." He didn't seem to be hearing her. "Abyssian, I need your help, your advice. I want to figure this out, but I can't do it alone."
He laid his palm over her nape. "You were thinking about leaving me, weren't you?"
Her temper was peaking. "I don't want to leave! But I can't keep paying for my previous life. How are we going to work on the issues we have now if you can't get over the past? You'll never give me a fair chance." His mind would immediately connect Kari's betrayal to Lila's desperate actions.
His hand tightened. "You've got my fucking heart in your clutches, and you planned to desert me?" He appeared more demonic than she'd ever seen him.
They were getting nowhere. What would happen if she asked him to claim her?
Sex was a variable, an unpredictable one. But if she expected heartache from every other avenue . . .
What in this hell did they have to lose? Maybe the claiming was a magical relationship cure-all.
Horns straightening, he demanded, "How did you think you could get away from me, little wife? All I'd ever needed to do was get you back to my realm. You're trapped in hell with me forever--"
"Shut up, demon."
Growl.
"And claim me."
Groan . . .
Calliope gazed up at him, her ethereal face bathed in the moon's glow and caressed by the diamondlight. She clamped his shoulders to pull him closer, standing on her toes to get to his mouth.
She kissed him hard, and Sian returned it. Their teeth clicked, their tongues twining.
Calliope wanted him! So why did this hollowness within him remain?
Because he'd been falling more and more for her, and she'd been looking for an out? He reached around her, gripping her ass, grinding against her. He needed closer to her, inside her.
What if she can't figure out the conundrum?
Then he would be cursed with emptiness, his heart returning to cold, black stone forever.
He broke away from their kiss, chest twisting at her lovely face. Teal blue eyes, kiss-swollen lips. "You're a godsdamned part of me, yet you would willingly leave me?" Just like in her past life.
While Sian had been dreaming of taking Kari back to hell--you will be mine, Kari . . . for all time--she'd been dreaming of another.
He'd thought of Calliope as his, but she hadn't been. After tonight, she would be.
"I want you," she murmured. "Now. Here."
This was her invitation. But it wasn't enough to soothe the desolation churning within him. He kissed her again, harder, savoring her breathy cries as their tongues tangled.
Make her understand. Between kisses, he said, "You don't know what it's like to yearn for ages without end. To see what you want so clearly--and be denied it. Violently denied it. Never again." His claws sliced through her blouse. He stripped them of clothes. Fabric ripping.
As they traded hungry kisses, he conjured a fur to spread over the sandy floor of the cave and a small fire to warm her. Before she could change her mind, he broke from the kiss to lower her down.
This will happen. At the realization, he seethed; the dimension seethed. Winds picked up, battering the mountain all around them. Waves crashed, sending spray inside the cave.
His gaze roamed over her trembling body. Droplets of water misted her naked flesh, making it shimmer. Her breasts were swollen, her stiffened nipples begging for a suck. Can she feel the fire's heat through those tips? Her hips subtly rocked.
He must be dreaming. If so, he would never wake.
Were ten millennia of his fantasies about to come true at last?
FORTY-EIGHT
Lila stared up at Abyssian's onyx eyes. The fire set the diamonds ablaze with
all new prisms, the flames reflected in his gaze.
Before she'd known it, he had them naked on a fur, his massive frame levered over her. "I've never felt so alive." All of her senses sang. She could taste the fire and feel the mesmerizing lights. Awareness of him overwhelmed her.
When she grazed her fingertips over one of his bright glyphs, he held himself motionless, a primordial gentled by his mate.
She smoothed locks of his black hair away from his brow, then traced the rugged line of his jaw.
She was nervous, but . . . "I trust you." She did--with her body. So why couldn't she make the leap to tell him everything? The confusion roiling inside this demon made her chest ache.
No longer could she wonder about their fated connection; his pain was her pain. They were connected.
He's my mate too. "Abyssian . . ." I'm falling for you.
"I won't let anything divide us." Burning in his gaze was that bone-deep yearning, calling to hers. "I can't ever lose you again. You are a part of me, Lila." His forehead met hers. For long moments, they stayed like that.
How to voice all the thoughts whirling in her head? I need you to show me this. To accept me as is. Please let this bond us enough to last.
He leaned down to nuzzle her breasts, and her lids went heavy. "Sweetest nipples. They swell to my tongue." He took one and suckled with a growl. Against her damp skin, he said, "Never get enough . . . of your soft breasts. Never get enough of you. . . ."
His erection captured her attention. The veined length strained even harder. A bead of moisture clung to the head, pearlescent in the firelight.
He muttered words in Demonish, his voice so hoarse she had trouble understanding him. Something about watching her walk away.
She wanted to pay attention, to ask him to explain, but that bead taunted her. When she reached for him, he caught her hand.
"No, I won't last." He sat back on his knees, retracting the wing claws and the ones tipping his fingers. "I'm going to get you ready."