“I like to read. I like painting, but I suck. I like sewing, and I’m a little better at that, as sometimes it’s a job requirement. I also like plants, and I have a cat. I like her too. She’s a rescue from a shelter. A calico. And her name is Princess Bob.”
“Princess Bob?”
“I didn’t name her. She was really sick when she came into the shelter, and this lady fostered her, and she had a daughter who named her. She begged me to keep the name, and I couldn’t deny her.”
“That’s sweet,” Gabriel coughs out.
“What? Should I have broken a little girl’s heart?”
“No. But you could have renamed her after. She would never have known.”
“That’s just…that’s terrible energy to put into the universe.”
Gabriel gets this satisfied smirk on his face, and I realize I’ve just declared myself to be a pretty huge hypocrite, given that I’m embarking on a whole journey to lie to a massive amount of people.
“What do you do for fun?” I croak out. I desperately want to change the subject.
“I’m a bit of a nerd. I like computers. Gaming. Software. I also like reading.”
“But clearly, not romances.”
“No.” Gabriel laughs, and I’m pretty sure the hair on the backs of my arms shivers to life since the sound is so musical and rich. “Not romances. I read non-fiction mostly, but if I do read fiction, it’s usually the thriller books.”
“I bet you like true crime. You seem like a true crime kind of guy.”
“I’m afraid not. I like more political stuff. I guess some of it would be the adventure genre as well.”
“Do you have any pets?”
“No. Not right now. I used to travel a lot for work, so I never felt like I had time to care for one properly, but I’ve toned things down in the past year. Maybe I’ll get a fish or something.”
“A fish? That’s hardly a pet.”
“I think the poor fish that just wants to be loved would prove you wrong.”
“Okay,” I laugh. I finally hit a break in traffic, so I edge towards the maze of turns that will eventually end up in us getting the hell out of here. “What do you do for a living? I guess I should ask. It would seem weird if I didn’t know.”
“I guess I’m like you. I work too much, also in technology. And my hobbies overlap.”
“I’m really glad you could take a holiday. And that you’re here. Seriously, I am. I can’t say it enough.”
When I sidelong glance at Gabriel in what is probably the most sketchy way a person could look at another person, he has a dangerous look going on. The kind of look that says he might secretly find it funny to cause me lots of trouble this weekend. But not bad trouble. Just funny trouble.
The look hits me like getting slapped with a glass of water and leaves me extra worried—kind of. I guess I just realized Gabriel actually has a sense of humor. And it might be dry. Really, really dry. Normally, I like dry, but I’m not sure this counts. Maybe I’d actually like it a little bit wet.
God. That just sounds wrong.
“I’m glad I’m here too. I mean, what’s better than a wedding? There’s always cake, at least. And free dinner. And some entertainment, if there’s going to be speeches.”
I want to lambaste my face all over the steering wheel, but I remain upright and settle for dying a little, or a lot, inside.
“My grandmas are going to love you,” I sigh. “They might pinch your cheeks. Just a warning. Both of them, if they can reach up that high. And yes, I have the same name as my one grandma. That’s why I sound like an eighty-year-old lady and love it.”
“Pearl suits you.”
“Why? Because I’m boring, old fashioned, and dry?”
“No. Because Pearl is a beautiful name, and you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, my snookums.”
“Snookums?” I nearly drive the car straight off the road and have to correct my steering fast. We only swerve moderately. “What the hell?” I gape at Gabriel. Do not call me that!” And what about the bit before that?
“Sorry, just practicing for a few hours from now. This is the only rehearsal we’re going to get. You’re saying that Snookums is not an appropriate form of endearment? Should I go for the classic, babe? Or maybe it’s bae now? We have to keep up with the times and all.”
“Argh! No! None of those. I’m not a mushy person! I don’t use terms of endearment at all. Just my name will do.”
“Pearly whirly?”
“No! No! Just, no!”
“Okay. Point taken, my baby bunny wunny rabbit babbit boo-boo.”
“Christ,” I mutter.
This is going to be a very long weekend. Hopefully, I make it out alive without too many disgusting terms of endearment directed my way. Oddly enough, thoughts of having to fake kiss or fake hold hands or fake hug Gabriel isn’t nearly as bad, which means it is really bad. Bad for me.