The waitress comes back with the food, and when she sees Pepper, her expression changes to one of concern. But I wink at her before nodding my head to the side. She takes the hint, drops off the food, and leaves without a word. Good. I’ll tip well when we leave.
“Tell me what you’re feeling, baby girl,” I murmur into Pepper’s hair. “Let me help.”
She sniffles and reaches for the napkin dispenser. She dabs at the corners of her eyes, and then gazes up at me. “I don’t want to do the egg-freezing, Rob. I don’t know what my parents were thinking by trying to force me to go through with this. The procedure just seems so awful and scary, and I know I’ll feel awful afterwards. It’s crazy.”
I nod, and she continues.
“I’m worried about the toxicity of it, too. I’ve never had surgery or done drugs, except when I got my wisdom teeth pulled. And you know what else? I’ve never even dyed my hair or gotten a tattoo. I only use natural make-up products, the good stuff that’s certified by all sorts of agencies. I just hate the idea of putting anything chemical inside my body, and the idea of going through with this procedure makes my skin crawl.”
I push her hair out of her face. Her big brown eyes are swimming with another onslaught of tears, and this time, she doesn’t bother to dab at them. She lets them spill over her cheeks and goddamn, but she’s beautiful when she cries. I squeeze her hand.
Pepper is young, she’s healthy, and she’s probably very fertile. I’m not her doctor, nor have I seen her medical charts or anything like that, but I can’t imagine it would be difficult to conceive a baby with Pepper. Still, I understand where her parents are coming from. There are so many women who put off childbearing until it’s too late. Freezing your eggs is like taking out extra insurance. I squeeze her hand.
“To be honest with you, I don’t love medical interventions like this either,” I say. “They can be unnecessary, like you said.”
“Exactly!” She bangs her hand on the table, but it doesn’t make much of an impact. I press my lips together to hide a smile. Pepper’s too upset for me to tell her this now, but it’s cute how she managed to rattle the silverware.
“Your parents are just looking out for you,” I say in a soothing voice. “This shows they care.”
But then Pepper looks at me, her gaze sharp and bright. “But why egg freezing? What’s wrong with having a baby the normal way? What’s wrong with me wanting to meet someone in my own time? My parents are totally freaking out!”
I squeeze her hand again.
“I would have to agree with that, seeing that you’re still so young. You’re fertile, I’m sure, honey. That curvy body is going to bear a lot of children one day.”
The words are intimate and Pepper blushes, but I love seeing her like this. Not only that, but suddenly, I get a mental image of Pepper’s belly growing round with my child inside. The thought makes me sit back with shock, but then I realize that it could happen. I’d love for her to have my babies, and I’d love to keep her pregnant as much as possible.
As if reading my mind, Pepper nods.
“Rob, would you consider it? I mean, having a baby together,” she asks in a small voice. “I would love to have a baby with you. I know we haven’t dated long, but is it something you’d consider?”
I blink. I open my mouth, and then shut it again. I wasn’t expecting to have this conversation tonight by a long shot, but hell, it’s happening. Did she just say that she wants to have a baby with me? I stare at Pepper, but she doesn’t back down. There’s so much conviction in her voice and in her eyes too. Hell, how did this happen?
But then again, what if we did have a baby? If she told me she was pregnant right now, would I want to run for my life? Would I feel trapped? Would I feel like my world was ending?
Hell, no. The thought fills me with joy. Again, I’d love to see her round and heavy with my child inside. Maybe we only just started dating, but I’ve known Pepper for years now. I know the curvy girl. She’s sweet, giving, and so innocent too. So what if that future includes a baby together? I touch her belly. It’s soft now, but I imagine it round and firm with a child inside. I want it. I want it bad.
“Rob?”
Pepper is looking at me, and I realize I haven’t given her an answer yet. The words I want to say, “Let’s go home right now so I can put a baby in you,” die on my tongue. Pepper is emotional, and she’s so vulnerable right now. I know she’s serious, but what if she changes her mind later? After all, the girl is only twenty. I can’t take advantage of her like this. Still, I need to give her an answer.