“Drew—”
“No, listen. You didn’t do anything wrong, Bailey. You didn’t get high.”
“But my tox—”
“You were drugged,” he blurts out.
Everything around me goes numb. The sounds start to fade in and out. If I wasn’t sitting, I would be afraid I’d pass out.
That makes no sense.
Why would anyone . . . ? No, Drew is wrong.
“Bailey, Monica drugged you.”
His words stab me. “I—” I stop myself, not able to form words.
“She wanted to get back at you. She said it was your fault.”
“What was my fault?”
“She-she thought you took me away from her. This was my fault for hiring her. I didn’t realize how unhinged she was. When I announced the mandatory drug test, she thought she could finally get rid of you. She decided to spike your drink, knowing full well would I not only fire you, but I would also dump you.”
My whole body starts to shake, and I’m not sure what to think about this.
“Bailey, do you understand what I’m saying? You didn’t do drugs. Not willingly, at least. You don’t need to be here.”
He walks toward me. His hand reaches out and touches mine. “You can come home with me.”
I stare at where our hands are touching. It would be so easy. But all my life, I have been doing easy.
There is only one answer I can give him.
“No.”
“You don’t want to see me, I understand. I didn’t believe in you.”
“It’s not that, Drew.” I move my hand away from his. Then I take a step back. “I want to go home with you. I want it so badly. I wish I could.”
“But don’t you understand? You can.”
“I can’t. I might not have taken the drugs, but it doesn’t change anything. I got drunk. I’m an addict who got drunk, and it’s only a matter of time before it escalates. That is on me. I made a reckless decision. On me again. Sure, maybe I didn’t take the coke or the Vicodin, but it was only a matter of time. When you hurt me, I searched out a high. I’ve taken the easy way out all my life, but it’s time I get the help I need. The help I should have gotten a long time ago. It’s time I put myself first and heal.”
He looks at me with large, sad eyes, but he nods his understanding.
“I’m proud of you.” He moves closer and wraps his arms around me. “I hope this isn’t goodbye.”
“It is for now.”
I kiss him on the lips and turn and walk away. A heavy weight is lifted, but it’s not enough. I still have a lot to heal inside me.
But I need to do that alone.
And I’m finally ready to.
56
Bailey
Three weeks later . . .
I anxiously watch the door, tapping my toe against the ceramic tile floor. The sound ricochets off the walls as I wait for Harper to arrive. Thirty days. I can’t believe thirty days have passed so quickly. I told her I didn’t need her to fly to Arizona to pick me up. We flew out here to have time to be alone and talk, but she wants to get here and get me home this time. I think it’s silly, as I can fly home myself. I’m a big girl, but in usual Harper fashion, she insisted, and I love her for it. As strong as I am, I still welcome the comfort and strength her presence grants me.
I hear the faint sound of the wood from the door creak, and I jump up and run forward, leaping into Harper’s arms. God, I hope it’s her, or I just made a huge ass of myself.
“Wow, Bae. Excited to see me?” She laughs, and the sound warms my heart. I didn’t realize how much I missed her until this very moment.
“You have no idea, Harp. You have no idea.” I hold her to me, not ready to let her go.
“Well, you look great,” she says as she pulls back. Her gaze trails up the length of me, from my shoes up to my eyes. Her nose scrunches, and she lifts her eyebrow up at me. “I was a bit concerned,” she admits as her lip turns up into a smile, and I can’t help but laugh. I could always count on Harper to be honest. It was the lawyer in her.
“Are you ready to get out of here?”
“Lead the way,” I say, motioning toward the door.
She grabs my hand in hers, and we start to head outside. As we walk out of the sanctuary that has been my home, my eyes squint against the early morning sun peeking out from behind the clouds. Streams of light glisten in the distance of the desert, causing a haze to form and take shape into a mirage.
Harper lets go of my hand and links her arm with mine. Turning my head up so our eyes can meet, I see her eyes glisten with unshed tears. “You okay?” she mumbles, and I give her a small smile as my head nods.