Shit.
Why would Shaw do this to me?
“Shaw thinks the world of you. She thinks you’re the absolute shit. And guess what? She wants the absolute shit for her sister. I tell her you two kissed and she’ll start planning the wedding.”
“Christ.” I leaned back against the counter and squeezed my eyes shut.
Shaw saw more than anyone suspected. She knew there was something between me and Ryan.
“She did this because of me.”
I looked at Ry.
She turned, giving me her profile as she stared out of the side door to the woods surrounding the cabin. “I think she might have seen me kiss you at Dex’s party.” She flicked me a quick look but couldn’t meet my gaze. “I’m sorry about that. I don’t remember much but I remember you having to push me off you, which is beyond mortifying. I was drunk. I’m sorry.”
That’s how she remembered it?
A part of me wanted to let her continue believing it. It would be easier. But it would also make me a dick. “That’s not how it happened.”
Ryan turned to me, eyes round. “It wasn’t?”
I shook my head. “You kissed me, yeah. But… I kissed you back.”
Her lush lips parted, drawing my attention. I could still feel them against mine. Still taste her.
“What… what happened?”
“I remembered you were drunk and that I’m not an asshole and that’s when I stopped the kiss. Not really a kiss.” I smirked. “We were most definitely making out.”
Ry looked confused now, and she was breathing heavier.
It was making me think not so gentlemanly things.
“And Shaw saw this?”
“Not that I’m aware of. Dex did. But he warned me off you, so this wasn’t his idea.”
“He warned you off me?” She looked hurt by that.
Clearly she was missing the big picture here. “Ry, I’m your sister’s father-in-law. And I’m sixteen years older than you. Dex knows… you and I shouldn’t go there.”
“But you want to?”
I stared into those gorgeous fucking eyes of hers and imagined sinking myself deep inside her. Oh yeah. I wanted Ryan Baillie more than I could remember wanting any woman. Even as a horny goddamn teenager I couldn’t remember wanting a girl the way I wanted Ry. Because it wasn’t just sex with her. For the first time in my life, I wanted a woman to belong to me and to belong to that woman in return.
She was just the goddamn wrong woman.
Off limits.
“Dex is too important to me.” I reminded myself and her. “I won’t do anything to screw up my relationship with him. Shaw must have kept him in the dark about this.”
Ry lowered her gaze, shielding her thoughts from me. “Yeah, Shaw’s too much of a romantic. She doesn’t live in the real world sometimes.”
Hearing the hint of bitterness in her words was like taking a knife to the gut. I’d hurt her. “Ry—”
“Don’t.” She waved off my words, not meeting my gaze again. “I get it. I’m not really your type, anyway. And we’re totally different people. I don’t want a guy who needs to take care of me and you love women who want to be taken care of. A little attraction between us isn’t worth the cost to our family. I don’t need anyone. I’m fine alone. And this… is just a disaster waiting to happen so I’m going to head out.” She strode out of the living room, leaving me seething.
Not my type?
Was she fucking kidding me with that?
I loved women who want to be taken care of?
What was that shit?
A little attraction?
I moved to go after her and set her straight, but stopped myself.
Dex was right. I was sixteen years older than Ryan, and she deserved better than to be tied to someone that much older than her. If we had kids, I would be in my sixties when they were still only in their twenties.
I don’t need anyone. I’m fine alone.
My gut twisted at the thought of Ryan spending her entire life keeping people at a distance. Of that gorgeous, funny, sweet woman being lonely. And the thought of her returning to that apartment where she’d been attacked made me break out in a cold sweat.
Dex was wrong.
Yes, I’d dated women until I got bored in the past.
But I had never felt about any of them the way I felt about Ryan Baillie.
Before I could stop myself, my feet were taking me to her.
Chapter 5
RYAN
I was shaking as I hurried into the bedroom I’d slept in last night. If I was so cool about being alone, about not needing anyone, then why did it feel as if Joe had just ripped out my guts?
It was stupid of me to feel this way.
Of course I was not as important to him as his son.
Dex should come first.
His devotion to his son was one of the reasons I loved Joe so much.