Cassie running the pet crematorium helped, but not enough.
Even so, they were living good. His girls were happy and that was all that mattered to him. If he had to bust his ass and scrounge for every penny to keep them happy, he would.
“That’s not why I came to find your ass.”
Judge turned toward his prez. “What’s up?”
“Got some kid in the barn lookin’ for you.”
He frowned. “Kid?”
“Not a little kid like Daisy, but one about Saylor’s age.”
As those words sank into Judge’s brain, his heart began to thump heavily in his chest. “Boy?”
“Yeah. A tall one. Looks an awful lot like you. Not as gangly as you were as a teenager, though. Probably got no problem gettin’ laid, unlike you.”
Judge ignored all that. “He ask for me by name?”
“Askin’ for Judd Scott. Most people in there don’t know you by that name. Just a couple of us.”
“Deke in there?”
“Yeah, he’s talkin’ to him now, keepin’ him occupied.”
“Fuck,” Judge muttered under his breath.
“He yours?”
Judge stared at Trip and answered honestly, “Got a boy ‘bout eighteen.”
The Fury president’s eyebrows rose. “His name Henry?”
Without warning, Judge’s knees wobbled enough that Trip grabbed his shoulder.
“You okay?”
“Don’t fuckin’ know,” Judge managed to get out. His feet were frozen to the ground, his heart was pounding out of his chest, his pulse raced like he’d just snorted an eight-ball of coke and his brain spun like a Tilt-A-Whirl.
“What d’you need me to do?” Trip asked. “Want me to have Deke take him somewhere? If he’s yours, not sure if The Barn’s a good place to meet with him right now. It’s packed and loud. When’s the last time you saw him? Didn’t even know you had a kid.”
Judge continued to stare at Trip, unable to wrap his head around what might be happening. “Yeah. The mom fucked me sideways right out of his life. Haven’t seen him since he was almost one.” Not since he was a baby. A fucking baby.
“Damn,” Trip whispered, yanking off his baseball cap and scraping his fingers through his hair before jerking it back onto his head. “Like I said, kinda looks like you, brother. Just ain’t as big yet. But close.”
Jesus.
Why the fuck was he still standing there instead of rushing to see his boy? Why couldn’t he move? His eyes slid back to the pavilion, where Cassie was speaking with Stella.
“Want me to get her for you?”
Judge shook his head. “Get Deke to take him up to his apartment. Will meet him up there in a few.”
Trip continued to stand there staring at him with his hands on his hips, like he had a million more questions. Problem was, Judge didn’t have the answers. After a minute, the man nodded and headed toward the propped open double doors on the courtyard side of the barn.
Judge wasn’t sure if he should have Cassie with him or meet Ry on his own. Fuck, he wasn’t sure of anything right now.
Everything on him right now was tight. He was worried he’d be unable to get out the right words he needed to say to his own son.
Judge didn’t even know him.
And Ry didn’t know him.
Judge squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them, Cassie was heading in his direction, worry marring her face. Dodge was standing where she previously stood, also looking in his direction, a frown on his face.
Her walk turned into a jog as she rushed over to him. “Judge…”
She didn’t need to say anything more. Just his name and the way she said it was enough. “Yeah.”
She reached down, snagged his hand and squeezed it hard. Then she tugged him out of his frozen spot and toward the back of the barn.
“Don’t know what to fuckin’ say to him, Cass.” His chest was getting so fucking tight he was struggling to breathe.
“Just be you.”
“Probably fuckin’ hates me.”
“You don’t know that.”
“How can he not?”
“I know you, Judge. Just let him get to know you, too.”
“Don’t even know if that’s why he’s here. Maybe he’s here to put a bullet between my eyes.”
Cassie sucked in a breath and yanked on his arm. “Don’t even say that!”
He followed his woman to the back of the barn and up the metal steps to his old apartment, the one his cousin moved into the second Judge moved out. At the top of the stairs, Cassie hesitated.
She turned her face up to him. “Do you want me in there with you?”
He didn’t know. He was having a tough time making any kind of decision right now.
She shook his hand which was tightly clasped in hers. “I’ll come in with you. Then if I need to slip out, I will.”
Judge only stared at her and nodded.
“You okay?” she asked.
“Fuck no.”
She smiled. “You haven’t seen your son in seventeen years. It can’t get worse than that.”