“And you think Deacon is what’s missing in my life?”
“I don’t know, and neither will you if you don’t let yourself explore the possibility. Maybe, in the end, he won’t fit. Your lifestyles, your choices, may be too different, but you won’t know until you try.”
“I just need time, Reilly. I need to be okay with what happened today. Right now, I’m not. And I’m worried for you. How this will affect you. Taking a life shouldn’t be an easy thing to do. Not one of them tried to stop it.”
“Neither did we.”
That bothered Reese the most. When she forced from Whip where they were taking Billy, they had jumped in Deacon’s truck and followed.
Reese thought her intention was to stop them, but was it? She could’ve easily called 911 instead. She didn’t.
She might not have pushed the button, but she was just as guilty by being there.
She’d wanted justice. She just never realized how that justice would be doled out.
Hearing the scream from a man being burned to death would be seared forever in her mind. She would never forget the second Reilly’s palm slammed that button or the sound of those burners igniting.
“I know this might sound fucked up, but after pushing that button? I suddenly felt free. Safe to get back on my own life’s path. Fears I hadn’t even realized I was holding onto disappeared. I have this club to thank for that. And you, too.”
A heavy weight crushed Reese’s chest. “I didn’t do anything.”
“Yes, you did. You once again sacrificed for me.”
Taking care of her sister, wanting her safe, helping her when she needed it, was not a sacrifice. It was what family did. Real family.
Their birth mother might be blood, but that was all she was.
What Reilly saw in this club became clear. Reese understood why her sister wanted to be a part of it. And, in truth, she would only be less than a half hour away.
Reese wasn’t losing her sister. She was just letting her go. Letting her grow on her own. Letting her be who she was meant to be. “My door will always be open to you, if and when you want a change. Don’t ever think twice about coming home to me. For any reason. Even for no reason.”
Reilly gave her a last squeeze before they released each other. “So, you’re leaving?”
“Like you said, I’ll only be about twenty minutes away. We’ll practically be neighbors.” Reese’s attempt at a laugh sounded stilted. “I’ll grab my things.” She pushed past her sister, trying to hide the sting in her eyes.
This wasn’t a forever type of goodbye. She’d see her sister often. She’d talk to her on the phone regularly. They’d still be a big part of each other’s life.
They’d still be family.
Even so, it hurt. Like her life was ripping apart. Like a large piece of her was being torn away, leaving a gaping hole that had been filled the day her sister was born.
She mechanically collected her belongings from the bathroom and from Deacon’s bedroom.
She could smell his presence, his familiar scent, as she moved around his room. Leather, sandalwood, smoke.
Everything that reminded her of Deacon. Of the way he lived his life.
Of how he lived giving no fucks, while she, on the other hand, gave too many.
A voice came from the doorway. “Are you at least going to tell him goodbye?”
Reese turned her head away and closed her eyes. “I’ll text him.”
“Reese,” Reilly breathed. Her sister’s disappointment was palatable.
She picked up her overnight bag off the bed and turned to her sister. “Can you drive me back to Mansfield?”
“I wish you would talk to him first.”
That would make it more difficult. “I’m not sure what to say.”
“Maybe you don’t need to say anything.”
“That’s not in my nature,” she said with a stiff laugh.
Always having something to say was both her strength and her weakness.
Earlier in his office, before Billy showed up, before everything went down, she had been rendered speechless.
What she saw in Deacon’s eyes had stolen her words. Had destroyed her ability to think practically.
That moment had scared her because she was ready to think impractically for once. To throw everything she’d fought so hard to build out the door and just give in to whatever he wanted.
What deep down she wanted, too, but was unable to figure out a way to get a handle on.
So, yes, she needed time and distance.
And if she talked to him first, he might convince her otherwise.
She couldn’t risk that.
Not yet.
Epilogue
Detours and Final Destinations
He didn’t come right away.
She thought he might.
To demand answers.
To force her to face her fears.
To face her feelings.
To face him.
Facing him would’ve made her decision harder.
He could’ve pushed the issue, but he didn’t. He’d respected her need for time and space.
She had almost called him a million times. She almost got into her car and drove to Manning Grove many more.