I think the comment hit too close to home. It played into my fear that my grandma might think that of me one day. She hasn't been in my life long, but I’ve grown attached to her rather quickly. Part of it is her determination to have a relationship with me. I can tell it’s genuine, and that’s why Gant’s words had hurt me so much last night.
I don’t want my grandma to ever think I wanted a relationship with her so I could dip my hand in the pot. It’s nice to have someone in the world you can lean on. I’ve felt so alone since I lost my mom. Soon I’ll be caught as a fraud and tossed out of here. Everyone will finally realize I don’t belong. If it was up to my brothers and father, that would have happened already.
“Let me see them on you.” Not wanting to tell her no, I lean over toward her, allowing her to place them around my neck. She quickly clasps them and leans back to look at me. “Perfect.” She beams. I open my mouth to tell her it’s too much, but she begins speaking before I can get a word out. “They were my mother’s. My dad bought them for her when they renewed their wedding vows on their ten-year anniversary. She wouldn't let him replace the ring he slipped on her finger back when they didn't have two nickels to rub together. So this was his way of buying her something new.”
“I love that.” I reach up and touch them.
“I’m happy I get to pass them on finally.”
“Thank you. I will treasure them.”
“I know you will, sweetheart. Then one day you’ll give them to your daughter.” She closes the box, putting it back into her purse. My heart flutters whenever I think about having kids. It always does. I’ve always wanted a houseful of children. More so since I lost my mom. I don’t want them to ever be alone.
“Are you going to tell me about your date last night? I was a little disappointed you came home so early.” My mouth falls open. “What? You’ve seen Gant. The girls that want his attention.”
Yuck. I might be disappointed with Gant, but I don't want to think about him with other girls.
“No need to growl.” She laughs. “You sound like a baby cub.”
“I didn't growl.” Did I?
“Sure you didn't, sweetheart.” She winks at me. “When are you two going out again?” I shrug, looking out the window of the car. I want to tell her what happened with Gant last night, but I’m tossed up about it. Even though I’m upset with him, I don’t want her to think badly of him. But I also want her advice.
“I’m not sure we will,” I finally give. Is it smart to be dating someone right now? I don’t even know how long I’ll be here.
“Why is that?”
“We come from two different worlds,” I remind her. Grandma lets out a small huff.
“This is your world, Paislee. You just didn't know it.”
I ponder her words. I have been to a degree letting some of my family bully me out.
“Last night all I could think about is what my mom would have said about Gant.”
“Sweetheart.” Grandma grabs my hand, giving it a squeeze. “I think Gant is a good man. If I thought any differently, he wouldn't have made it past the front gate. Not to mention your father hates him.” I snort a laugh. “Gant might have stabbed him with a fork.”
“What!” I remember an off-handed comment that was made about someone being stabbed, but I thought it was a joke or metaphor.
“He made a pass at his mom. I think Gant was ten at the time.” I cover my mouth laughing. I shouldn't laugh, but I can’t help myself.
“I think he might think I’ve got some of my father in me,” I admit. Grandma bursts into laughter.
“If he thought that, he never would have pushed for a date. I think you should hear him out more. Men often wind up putting their foot in their own mouths. Not to mention Gant isn't known to date.” I lick my bottom lip. I can’t believe I’m about to ask this.
“They said he was a virgin. I thought everyone was joking.”
“I was surprised but not shocked. Gant has always been a guard dog to his mother and sister. His father was a good man. A lot like Gant. Down to earth. I think he’s a bit of a romantic at heart. The whole family is that way.”
Her words make me feel better, giving me a sense of hope when it comes to Gant.
“Now. Let’s get some lunch. Food always makes me think more clearly.”
“I’d like that.” She reaches over and squeezes my hand. “Grandma?”
“Yes, sweet girl.” I swear the words I love you are on the tip of my tongue, but I swallow them.