I put my hand on my cheek as I watch him drive away. The tear rolls over my pinky all the way to the floor. My hand moves from my cheek to my lips as it still tingles with his kiss. I don’t know how long I stand here before I quietly close the door. I don’t even know why I was waiting for him to come back.
Something in me was hoping he would come back. I sit in the darkness and play his words over again in my head. “Four years,” I say into the darkness as one hour turns into another. “Loveless.” A shiver runs through me. “I was just me.”
I lie down on the couch, closing my eyes, and I hear his voice as if he is right beside me. You are what dreams are made of. I close my eyes as sleep takes me.
Chapter 15
Manning
You made me a liar and a cheater.
I hear her voice as if she is right next to me, and my eyes fly open. “I’m just as bad as her.” I look at my bedroom wall now. Then I turn to look at the ceiling, the heaviness in my chest is even heavier than last night, if that is even possible.
Driving away from her was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Watching her in the rearview mirror as she stood there holding the door. Her kiss still lingering on my lips. My hand itching to hold her face. My body aching for her.
My eyes close again, and I try to fall back asleep, but all I can hear is her telling me how she was this awful person, and I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t let her stand in front of me like that and say those things about herself. For the first time in my life, I opened up to someone. For the first time, I didn’t hold back. For the first fucking time, I showed somebody that I wasn’t perfect, that my life was not what it seemed, and that I hurt just as much as everybody else. I wanted her to know that those hours with her were not a lie. Nothing we did was a lie.
I hear footsteps coming to my door, and I look over as the door opens slowly. “Hey,” I say to Jaxon as he comes running in the room and getting into bed with me. “Morning,” I tell him as he cuddles up to me. I put my arm around him and kiss his head. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah,” he says and leans over to get the remote to turn on the television. He puts Netflix on, and I get up to go to the bathroom. I wash my face and look in the mirror. The marks from last weekend are etched in my memory even though I can no longer see them. I raise my hand and touch the spot where she bit me. The memory rushes back so fast I can’t stop it.
“Are you sure about this?” I asked her as I carried her to the bed. It was one thing to attack her at the door, but I wasn’t going to fuck her again against the wall. Maybe the fifth time, I thought to myself. My mouth devoured hers as she shook her head.
“Condoms,” she said, stopping me from moving another inch. “Purse.”
I put her down on the bed. “I’ll get them,” I whispered to her, and I wanted the lights on. I wanted to see her face when I slid into her. I walked back over to the door where her purse was on the floor with the flap opened and the condoms sticking out. I bent over to pick them up, and when I went back into the room, she was completely naked. Her feet were on the bed with her legs tucked up to her chest and her ankles crossed. Her hair cascaded all around her shoulders. “You are beautiful,” I said as I kicked off my shoes and slid down my pants.
I tore off the corner of the condom wrapper, my cock hard and ready for her. I rolled it down and then looked at her. She lay back with her head on the pillows behind her and her legs spread eagle. I put my knee on the bed and made my way over to her, bending and licking her one last time before rubbing my cock up and down her slit.
“Perfect,” I told her as I watched myself slide into her. I took my time to savor every single second of it. Only when I was balls deep did I realize that I hadn’t taken a breath. She fit me like a fucking glove. Like she was made for me. I put my arms down beside her head as I moved in and out of her. I did it as slowly as I could until she kissed under my chin and then I slammed into her. The minute I did that, she bit me.