I take a shower and dry my hair. “It’s better this way.” I give myself a pep talk as I slide my blue jeans on. “It’ll be fine. What’s the worst that will happen?” I button my jeans, and they fit me just a touch looser than the last time and then slide on the long-sleeved black shirt. “The worst that can happen is that I see him and tell him that I miss him.” I slip on my black boots and then grab my green army jacket and matching scarf. “I mean, would it be so bad to see him.” I grab a black purse and walk out of the house. “Yes,” I say to myself. “Yes, it would.”
I park in the parking lot, and I take out my phone, texting my brother that I’m here.
Tim: Upstairs sitting at a table.
It’s twenty minutes until he starts playing, so I walk in the same arena that I saw Manning again, and my heart speeds up so fast that I feel like it’s going to come out of my chest. I walk to the back stairs and take a quick look around to see if I see him. I walk up the stairs and see tables everywhere. When I spot my brother, I start walking, and then I see who he is sitting with, and I swear I almost fall on my face. Why? I think to myself. Why the fuck is this happening?
My brother spots me and raises his hand with a smile. Manning turns around and sees me, and I see something flicker in his eyes. I walk over to them. “Hi,” I say to Tim.
“Why are you dressed like you’re a biker?” he jokes, looking down at my boots, and I roll my eyes. “Did you come here on a bike?”
“Yeah,” I say, joking. “I’m an old lady now, and my man is parking the Harley.” I smile and look over at Manning.
“Manning,” Tim says. “This smart-ass is my sister, Evelyn. This is Jaxon’s dad,” Tim says, and I don’t know what to do. Manning leans over and holds out his hand, and I just look at it for a second, not sure I should shake his hand. I don’t want to touch him, but my head has other ideas. My hand slips into his, and I can feel myself shiver.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Manning says softly, and I blink away the tears that come with the sound of his voice. “I’ve heard all about you.”
“If Tim said it, I wouldn’t believe it too much,” I joke with him and slowly let his hand go. I know he doesn’t want to let my hand go. He looks so good, but he has circles under his eyes, and I wonder if he’s having trouble sleeping, too. I wonder if this week has been easy for him. “Where is Veronica?”
“She might come later,” Tim says, and I look around. “Sit down.” He points at the chair between him and Manning. I look at the chair. It’s too close to Manning, and I don’t know how good I’ll be at not leaning over or toward him.
“I’m going to get myself a coffee,” I say to him. “Then I’m going to grab a seat.” I point at the rinks. “Which one is he going to be playing on?”
“That one,” Tim says, pointing at the door. “I’ll meet you in there.”
I smile at Manning. “It was nice meeting you,” I say, and I walk away, hoping not to fall flat on my face. I order a coffee and then walk into the arena, grabbing a seat. I watch as the Zamboni cleans the ice, and then I hear my name being called. I look down to see Caleb and his team lining up by the glass.
“Hi.” I wave to him, and then I see Jaxon beside him. “Hi there.”
“Hi, Evelyn,” Jaxon says, and then they both turn around.
I see Tim approaching, and he sits next to me. “Where is Manning?”
I ask, and he points down toward the door. He sits by himself. “Why is he sitting by himself?” I ask him. “Is it ’cause I’m here?”
“No,” he says. “He always sits by himself. He tried to sit with the parents once, and they introduced all of their family to him, and it was just too much. So he sits by himself now.”
My heart is literally all over the fucking place. “He’s not a circus monkey,” I say, my tone pissed. “God, what is wrong with people?”
“Calm down,” Tim says, laughing. “Besides, he doesn’t want to take away the spotlight from Jaxon, so it’s just easier this way.”
I look over at him, and he looks my way, giving me a small smile. I wish I could sit with him. I wish this whole fucking thing came with an instruction manual. I also wish I hadn’t fucking fell for a married fucking man. Goddammit.