What Really Happened in Peru (The Bane Chronicles 1)

"Of course," murmured Catarina, who was a good and loyal friend.

"Im surprised it even lasted this long; he was much better looking than you," mumbled Ragnor, who deserved a cruel and terrible fate.

"Im only two hundred years old," said Magnus, ignoring his friends mutual snort at the lie. "I cant settle down yet. I need more time to devote myself to debauchery. And I think - " He finished his drink and looked speculatively around. "I think I am going to ask that charming young lady over there to dance. "

The girl he was eyeing, he noted, was eyeing him back. She had lashes so long they were almost sweeping her shoulders.

It was possible Magnus was a little bit drunk. Chicha de molle was famous for both its swift effects and the horrible hangovers that followed.

Ragnor twitched violently and made a sound like a cat whose tail has been stepped on. "Magnus, please, no. The music was bad enough!"

"Magnus is not as bad at dancing as he is at the charango," Catarina remarked thoughtfully. "Actually, he dances quite well. Albeit with a certain, er, unique and characteristic flair. "

"I do not feel even slightly reassured," Ragnor said. "Neither of you are reassuring people. "

After a brief heated interlude, Magnus returned to the table breathing slightly hard. He saw that Ragnor had decided to amuse himself by hitting his own forehead repeatedly against the tabletop.

"What did you think you were doing?" Ragnor demanded between gloomy thumps.

Catarina contributed, "The dance is a beautiful, traditional dance called El Alcatraz, and I thought Magnus performed it - "

"Brilliantly," Magnus suggested. "Dashingly? Devastatingly attractively? Nimbly?"

Catarina pursed her lips in thought before selecting the appropriate word. "Spectacularly. "

Magnus pointed at her. "Thats why youre my favorite. "

"And traditionally the man gyrates - "

"You did gyrate spectacularly," Ragnor observed in a sour voice.

Magnus made a little bow. "Why, thank you. "

" - and attempts to set fire to his partners skirts with a candle," Catarina continued. "Its a wonderful, vibrant, and rather gorgeous dance. "

"Oh, attempts, is it?" Ragnor asked. "So it is not traditional for someone to utilize magic, actually to set the womans skirts and his own ostentatious coat on fire, and keep dancing even though both the dance partners involved are now actually spinning towers of flame?"

Catarina coughed. "Not strictly traditional, no. "

"It was all under control," Magnus declared loftily. "Have a little faith in my magic fingers. "

Even the girl hed danced with had thought it was some marvelous trick. She had been enveloped in real, bright fire and she had tipped back her head and laughed, the tumble of her black hair becoming a crackling waterfall of light, the heels of her shoes striking sparks like glittering leaping dust all over the floor, her skirt trailing flame as if he were following a phoenix tail. Magnus had spun and swung with her, and shed thought he was marvelous for a single moment of bright illusion.

But, like love, fire didnt last.

"Do you think that eventually our kind becomes far enough removed from humanity that we transform into creatures that are untouchable and unlovable by humanity?" Magnus asked.

Ragnor and Catarina stared at him.

"Dont answer that," Magnus told them. "That sounded like the question of a man who doesnt need answers. That sounded like the question of a man who needs another drink. Here we go!"

He lifted a glass. Ragnor and Catarina did not join him, but Magnus was happy to make the toast on his own.

"To adventure," he said, and drank.

Magnus opened his eyes and saw brilliant light, felt hot air drag across his skin like a knife scraping across burned bread. His whole brain throbbed and he was promptly, violently sick.

Catarina offered him a bowl. She was a muddle of white and blue in his blurred vision.

"Where am I?" Magnus croaked.

"Nazca. "

So Magnus was still in Peru. That indicated that he had been rather more sensible than hed feared.

"Oh, so we went on a little trip. "

"You broke into a mans house," Catarina said. "You stole a carpet and enchanted it to fly. Then you sped off into the night air. We pursued you on foot. "

"Ah," said Magnus.

"You were shouting some things. "

"What things?"

"I prefer not to repeat them," Catarina said. She was a weary shade of blue. "I also prefer not to remember the time we spent in the desert. It is a mammoth desert, Magnus. Ordinary deserts are quite large. Mammoth deserts are so called because they are larger than ordinary deserts. "

"Thank you for that interesting and enlightening information," Magnus croaked, and tried to bury his face in his pillow, like an ostrich trying to bury its head in the sand of a mammoth desert. "It was kind of you both to follow me. Im sure I was pleased to see you," he offered weakly, hoping that this would lead to Catarinas bringing him more liquids and perhaps a hammer with which he could smash in his skull.

Magnus felt too weak to move in quest of a liquid, himself. Healing magic had never been his specialty, but he was almost certain that moving would cause his head to topple from his shoulders. He could not allow that to happen. He had confirmation from many witnesses that his head looked superb where it was.

"You told us to leave you in the desert, because you planned to start a new life as a cactus," Catarina said, her voice flat. "Then you conjured up tiny needles and threw them at us. With pinpoint accuracy. "

Magnus chanced another look up at her. She was still very blurry. Magnus thought this was unkind. Hed believed they were friends.

"Well," he said with dignity. "Considering my highly intoxicated state, you must have been impressed with my aim. "

"Impressed is not the word to use to describe how I felt last night, Magnus. "

"I thank you for stopping me there," Magnus said. "It was for the best. You are a true friend. No harm done. Lets say no more about it. Could you possibly fetch me - "

"Oh, we couldnt stop you," Catarina interrupted. "We tried, but you giggled, leaped onto the carpet, and flew away again. You kept saying that you wanted to go to Moquegua. "

Magnus really did not feel at all well. His stomach was sinking and his head was spinning.