"Everything you are," I said as he thrust harder and deeper, as if each pounding attack on my body was meant to punish himself. "Everything you've done. Don't you get it, Cole? You've stripped me raw and put me back together again, and I love you for it. I love you desperately.
"You gave me the world," I said, as I felt his body tighten inside mine, then shudder in the sweet throes of release.
"You gave me everything," I said, as my own orgasm rolled through my body like a shock.
"Don't take it away from me," I murmured, my body sated and my voice exhausted. "Don't rip it all out from under me. You promised me once that you wouldn't ever leave me. I couldn't stand it if you did. You have to know I couldn't stand it."
He pulled me close, breathing hard. "But you could withstand those pictures being in the world?"
"If that's what it takes," I said, realizing for the first time the full extent of what I'd been saying to him. "It would be awful. But if that's what it takes to stay with you--to really and truly stay with you--then I could handle that and more."
He was silent, and I groaned in frustration. "Dammit, Cole, what do I have to do to prove it to you? Send the photos out as goddamn Christmas cards?"
He pulled me close, his body shaking a little with what I finally realized was laughter. "Probably nothing that extreme," he said. "But, Kat, I need to know that you're sure."
"I am." I stroked his head, his face. I looked into his eyes, because I needed to make sure he understood just how deeply I felt these words. "I can survive anything if I know you're at my side. If you really want to protect me, take me away. Take me to Europe or New Zealand or some tropical island so I'm not near the Internet or television or people I know. But don't do anything that risks them taking you away from me. Because I will tell you right now--if they arrest you or if Muratti's people hunt you down, it will kill me. And that will be on you."
He studied me. "You're really sure?"
I clutched his hands. "I can survive the photos. My dad can survive the photos. My friends, my career, my reputation. It won't be fun, but it will pass." I drew in a deep breath. "But if I lose you, I will shrivel up. That will be the end of me. Believe me, Cole. Believe me, and decide. Are you going to choose what you think I need, or will you listen to what I tell you I need?"
I pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Either way, I do love you. And, Cole," I added, "do you realize what happened tonight? You came," I said. "Without kink, without pain. With just you and me and what's between us."
I watched his face as he took in the moment, realizing then that I was right. I grinned a little, then met his eyes, laughing at the expression of exultant pride.
"Don't worry," I said wryly. "I like the status quo just fine. But it is always nice to have options."
"Yes," he said. "It is."
After a moment, he sighed and pulled me close. "Dammit, Kat, that's what I've been trying to get you to understand. I want the option of protecting you, baby, just like I promised your dad. But that's the option you're just not giving me."
"The hell I'm not," I said. "Don't you get it? You're the shield between me and the world, and that's more protection than I could hope for. You want to be the big strong man, then do what I ask. Stand by me. Take me out of the country until the worst blows over. But don't you dare fucking leave me."
He was staring at me, an odd expression on his face.
"What?"
"I adore you," he said. "I'm not sure how I survived a day without you."
"Then you understand why I'm so certain that I can't risk facing a future without you."
Slowly, he nodded.
"So we tell the bastard to release the photos?" I asked.
"If you're really certain."
"I've never been more sure about anything," I said. "Not about anything except you."
"I don't want to be around when you make the call," I said once we were on the jet.
He cocked his head, eyeing me suspiciously.
"I'm still certain," I assured him, hoping he couldn't see the way my insides were twisted up. "But that doesn't mean I like it or that I'm looking forward to the moment the photos go live."
He studied me, as if searching for deception on my face. I guess he liked what he saw, because he finally nodded. "All right," he said. "I'll head up to the galley."
"Bring me back some wine," I said dryly. "I'll need it."
He nodded, then kissed me. "You are the strongest, most amazing woman I've ever met."
"If I was that strong," I said, "I wouldn't be dragging you out of the country."
"Leaving just means that you're smart." He brushed his thumb over my cheek. "There's good pain, and there's bad pain, sweetheart. Staying would be the bad sort of pain."
"It wouldn't," I assured him. "So long as you're with me, it's all good." I took a deep breath. "Everything else is all set? Daddy?"
"Evan and Tyler will get him from The Drake as soon as I've made the call. And they've arranged for him to spend a few months in Fiji. I can't promise you that he won't see the pictures, but I can promise that they won't be in his face."
"All right. Thank you."
His eyes narrowed. "You know damn well there's no reason to thank me."
"You're wrong," I said, "but we don't have to argue about it again." I took a seat in one of the armchairs, casually tracing my finger over the tabletop in front of me. "Will you tell me now where you're taking me?"
"Paris," he said. "You once told me you wanted to live there."
"You remember that?"
"You're like oxygen to me, Kat," he said. "And how could I possibly forget to breathe?"
I watched him move to the front of the plane, this man I loved who made me happier than I could ever imagine being, and, despite everything going on around us, made me feel safer than I could ever imagine.
I thought about the call he
was making--about the pictures that were going to be out in the world.
I waited for the nausea to sweep over me, but it didn't. Just a tingle of unpleasantness, like that uncomfortable feeling when you have bad news to share with a friend.
I'd survive this. With Cole at my side, I would survive this just fine.
It took a few moments, but then the accordion-style sliding door opened and he stepped back into the passenger cabin. I stood immediately, alarmed by the expression on his face. Not anger. Not disgust or sadness or protectiveness or any emotion that I had anticipated.
No, he looked bewildered.
"Cole?" I took his arm and led him to the couch, then sat beside him. "What's wrong?"
"He's dead," Cole said. "I spoke with Michael. Ilya Muratti is dead."
"Dead? But--how?"
He faced me, his dark eyes unreadable. "Someone broke into his house last night. Got all the way to his bedroom, put a bullet through his head, and managed to get out of the house undetected."
I sat back, an odd mixture of shock and relief coursing through me. That, though, was pushed aside almost immediately by fear. "You didn't--"
"No," he said, so quickly and with such force that there was no doubting his words. "And I don't know for certain, but I think that Michael did."
"Michael? You think he killed his own father?"
"I do," he said.
"But why?"
"The old man was a liability. This bullshit with you, the whole thing with the vendetta against your father. Ilya was about revenge and about keeping a tight fist around his empire. Michael is about playing it smart."
I considered that for a moment, letting the ramifications of what he was saying flow over me. "The pictures," I began, my words coming slowly. "If Michael is about business, then there's no reason for him to release the pictures."
"No," Cole agreed. "There's not."
"Do you think he's going to just drop it?"
"He told me as much." A slow grin lit his face. "It's over, baby. He's even mailing me the memory card. It's not perfect--for all we know he has them saved in the cloud somewhere--but I think you're safe."
I sagged against him, overwhelmed by relief. And as his arms wrapped around me to pull me close, I let myself go and cried.
"There's no reason to leave now," Cole said, when my tears finally stopped and I could breathe normally again. "Do you want to stay in Chicago?"