The Captain of All Pleasures (Sutherland Brothers 1)

She wasn't surprised to get that inexplicable tightening in her chest at the sight of him, but fought it nonetheless. She forced her eyes away from him, rose from her chair, and began her retreat. When she had to pass Derek, he grabbed her hand.

"What are you doing, Sutherland?"

"We're going to be wed."

Not again. Panic rioted through her. "Have you lost your mind?"

"No, I'm thinking more clearly than I've ever done. I'm taking you to Gretna Green."

She gasped and finally sputtered, "The hell you are! Why would I wed you when I despise you?" And why couldn't she make her tone as outraged as she felt?

He reached out to stroke the hair off her forehead, and after an initial try, she couldn't seem to fling herself away from him. Had she missed him that badly? Enough to turn docile at his slightest touch?

"Trust me--you do not want to marry one of those dandies. They're not man enough for you."

She didn't doubt that. "And you are?"

"Indeed."

The arrogance! She was embarrassed by her weakness, brought low with another stroke of her hair. She couldn't think when he did that, and he knew it.

He took advantage of her temporary calm by grabbing her hand and pulling her down the steps. "We'll talk in the carriage."

"No," she squealed as she pulled back. "I'm not marrying you. And even if I wanted to--which I do not--you can't come in here and act as if you own me. I have a family and obligations. Did it occur to you that they might want to be present when I do wed?"

"Then we'll be married twice."

"Again, I'm not--"

Chapman appeared at the veranda doors, politely clearing his throat. "Are you all right, my lady? Shall I get the marchioness?"

"No! No need for--"

"She's here?" Derek demanded.

With a whistling breath, Chapman inclined his head toward the door, and before Nicole could form a protest, Derek half-dragged her in that direction. What would her grandmother think when a huge man came barreling into her staid parlor?

She also questioned why she gave him only token resistance, why she was insanely going along with his high-handed behavior.

When they reached the doorway to the salon, he called to the marchioness, "My lady--"

"What do you want? I'm not hard of hearing," she interrupted without raising her head, making it plain that her cross-stitching held more interest for her.

He didn't hesitate. "I am Derek Andrew Sutherland, sixth earl of Stanhope, and I am taking your granddaughter to Gretna Green to marry her."

The dowager sighed impatiently. "If you must...."

Derek paused, openly surprised. "Have her things--if you could have her things sent along to the Bickham Inn tonight?"

Her grandmother nodded, as if he'd just asked her to pass the salt.

Nicole's eyes went wide, and he took advantage of her shock by steering her toward the door again. Nicole looked back, baffled.

The marchioness had a grin on her face.

"If I didn't know better," Derek remarked as he hustled Nicole into the carriage, "I'd think the old girl might just like me." His tone was normal, as if they were having a chat over tea. It made it difficult for Nicole to sort out her thoughts. She wanted to sound rational to him, to point out logically why they wouldn't suit, but she'd sound like a fishwife compared to his even tone.

She girded herself by recalling that she was beyond irritation at his conceit, at his assumption that she would just roll over and marry him. Her thoughts bubbled up in a stammering flood. "This is kidnapping! Just like before--I won't have it--not again--not from you."

"It's not kidnapping. It's eloping," he pointed out reasonably.

"Eloping? I won't marry you. I won't! I can't trust you--you left me before." Her voice finally broke. Hot tears poured from her eyes, replacing those she swiped away. "Nothing ever hurt me so badly, and I'll be damned if I set myself up for that again."

Chapter 28

L eaving you...nearly broke me," Derek countered as he swept a tear from her cheek. He saw her wobbling bottom lip and added gently, "But I had to go. I'll explain to you why if you'll listen to me."

She said nothing.

"Please, just let me explain. I've never told anyone what I'm about to tell you. Grant suspected, but he was never certain."

In a huff, she replied, "Well, then, go on!"

He nearly smiled at her militant tone, but instead took a deep breath. "William was my older brother and the heir, but he was not a good man. He was hedonistic and spoiled--made that way by the family and servants cosseting him and making him think he was next to God. Plus, in our father's eyes he could do no wrong."

He looked over to see if she was listening.

"Continue."

He raised his eyebrows, then said, "When William was shot in a drunken duel, a neighboring lord's daughter came to our family and told us she was carrying William's child."

When he paused, Nicole impatiently tapped at his hand for him to go on. Her tears were drying.

"My father was ecstatic that William's blood would be passed on--that his precious heir's child would inherit--"

"But wouldn't the child be a bastard?" she interrupted, clearly getting caught up in the tale.

He didn't answer for several seconds. "That's where I came in," he said tonelessly.

"Oh, no," she murmured, her face a mirror of his pain as she comprehended what he was saying.

"My mother was against the idea of me wedding her and passing the child off as my own, but in the end, everyone pitied her and pushed for marriage. Even I felt a responsibility for her. I resented William for doing this--I'd always cleaned up after him, and it appeared that I would take on his last obligation for the rest of my life. But as I said, I felt sorry for the girl, and married her."

"What about your own children? What if you'd had a son?"

"You have to understand that my father loved William above all else."

When Nicole nodded, he continued, "On our wedding night and for several nights afterward, she refused the marriage bed, saying she was ill due to the child. But on that first night, she'd asked me to stay in her chamber to allay suspicion, and I agreed.

"After a week, she indicated that she was ready to become my wife in truth, but when I arrived home that night, I received an anonymous letter. The spelling was poor, as well as the penmanship, and I didn't doubt one of the servants had written it. The letter explained that the reason she hadn't wanted to share her bed with me was because she was having her monthly cycle."

"But the baby--"

"There was no baby." Over her gasp, he resumed. "I flew into a rage and confronted her, but she denied it, swearing she was pregnant. She was very convincing. But then she began an almost panicked attempt to seduce me. I knew then. After an hour of yelling and threats, she finally admitted that she'd tricked our entire family--gloated was more like it. She told me of her father's financial troubles and how they'd determined she would become the next countess of Stanhope. She also said that William's death was a godsend, because they'd finally concluded that no matter how much she teased and dallied with him, he simply wasn't going to wed her."

"Oh, my God..."

"It's worse. She hinted, though I could never prove or disprove it, that she'd engineered the events that led to William's death, that she brought about the duel by playing one man against the other. It was then that I really glimpsed the coldness in her eyes. She's tru

ly a...heartless woman. To this day, I wonder if she said those things to hurt me further or if she spoke the truth. I couldn't turn her over to the authorities, not knowing for certain. I threatened annulment, but she pointed out that no one would believe me if I said I'd never been intimate with her. She was far from virginal, and I'd spent the night of the wedding in her room. Plus, she was a celebrated beauty."

"What about divorce?" Nicole questioned, sounding outraged.

"In my family, death before divorce was the rule, but I threatened her. She countered that it would kill my father, who'd been ailing ever since William died. In fact, it was on the eve of my father's death that he made me swear I'd always take care of William's 'love.'

"I was cornered--there was nothing I could do. I could hurt my family and break a deathbed promise to my father, or I could stay wed to her. My path was clear, but I knew I'd die before I let a woman like that be the mother of my children. I swore to her that I would never be a husband to her. And I never was. When I got back from Australia, Lydia was pregnant by some foreign lord. She wanted an annulment. She told people I was unable to perform my marital duties--"

Nicole made a wholly disbelieving sound that he felt complimented by, then asked, "But couldn't you have told me this, instead of abandoning me in Sydney?"

"I realized that I was a worthless drunk. I convinced myself that if I left, you'd forget about me and find someone more worthy of you. You deserved so much more--to be married, to have children who wouldn't bear the stigma of illegitimacy. I was trying to do what was right."

His eyes caught hers as he took her hand. "If I'd told you I was leaving and you'd given me any indication that you wanted me, I wouldn't have been able to part from you."

He saw her soften. Then her eyes became suspicious, and he could practically see her nimble mind putting everything together. "And you just happened to realize this right around the time Chancey came for me?"

Derek said nothing. He didn't want to cause any grief for the man, but he wasn't about to lie to her again.

She shook her head. "No wonder Chancey looked as though he needed to tell me something before they sailed," she said to herself. "And he appeared so guilty all the way home."

Derek remained silent.

Hesitantly, she asked, "What about the drinking?"

"I think in the back of my mind, I decided I was coming for you, even before I consciously realized it. I stopped drinking midway through the voyage back--I wanted to be a good man, a good husband for you. I haven't had a drop since," he said resolutely.