I’m so confused right now, and he’s only adding fuel to the flames. Especially with the way he’s looking at me with those sultry eyes from underneath his lashes.
But how can he ever protect me from himself?
From his own debilitating need to rule?
From his own savage cruelty?
And from his own dirty filthy needs?
“I can’t,” I mutter, my voice hoarse. “I can’t trust myself around you.”
He cups my face and leans his forehead against mine. “I know you don’t, but we can work through this.”
I shake my head. “How? I won’t let you put my baby at risk.”
I don’t know why I’m so fiercely protective of it, but I am.
“I won’t ever put him in danger,” he says.
“You say that now, but what about Emmy? You put us at risk and now look what happened to her.”
“I will fix it. I’ll make sure she’s okay. I promise,” he says, still firmly clutching my face while he practically stares straight into my soul. “I fucking need you, Natalie. I need you more than I need air to breathe.”
Every time he speaks my name, it’s as if lighting strikes me. I can’t resist, can’t let go of this infatuation, no matter how hard I try. The minute he stepped back into my life, I was already lost to him.
And when he leans in to kiss me, I let him.
“Please …” I beg him, trying to resist.
“I can’t stop …” he murmurs against my mouth. “I can’t let you go.”
I shiver. “You have to. This is where I’m safe. Where our baby is safe.”
He plants another kiss on the side of my cheeks and leans back. “You’re so cold. What happened to you out there?”
“What do you mean?” He’s completely changed the topic, and I can’t stop shivering.
“You don’t feel it?” he asks, touching my arms and face to check my temp. “You’re way too cold right now.”
He suddenly lifts me and carries me into the bathroom. I’m completely dumbfounded by his affection for me that I let him do what he wants without fighting back.
“You’ve been outside far too long. That hospital should’ve taken better care of you,” he says, and he pulls off my shirt in one go.
My eyes widen, and I cover myself as he peels off my pants too, leaving me in nothing but panties and a flimsy bra. He turns on the faucet, and the hot water starts to flow … right over me. But the water feels so nice, and I stop shivering right after.
Maybe I was cold, but I just didn’t notice it because of everything going on.
I lean back and enjoy the heat as Noah takes off his shoes and then his tie and throws it in a corner. He doesn’t seem to care that he’s about to get wet too, as he keeps coming toward me until he’s under the shower too, clothes and all.
I snort. “What about your clothes?”
“Those can be replaced,” he says. “I’m more concerned about keeping my baby and his mother safe.”
I don’t know why, but that brought butterflies to my stomach. Shit. Why can’t I let him go? Why can’t I stop feeling this way about a man who’s obviously bad for me?
Even when I’m free and out of the community, he still manages to break me into a million pieces. And now he’s building me back up again, brick by brick.
He slowly wraps both arms around me and pulls me in for an embrace. “They say body heat is the fastest way to warm up …”
A tiny laugh escapes my mouth. He’s making up excuses to come close, but I’m not sure I mind. Being back in the real world has never felt lonelier. No one knows what I’ve gone through … except for him.
Maybe that’s why I’m so attracted to him in the first place. He knows better than any other man what I sacrificed to get here, and it created an unbreakable connection. I can feel it in my bones. The moment he touched me, everything faded away. When he holds me, it’s as though I can handle it all, as if I could take on the entire world with just these two hands.
He leans back to swipe a loose strand of hair out of my face and then presses a soft kiss onto my lips. Heat flows through my body, and I can’t help but kiss him back.
One kiss turns into two until I lose count, and my hands wrap around his neck in a desperate attempt to get closer. Maybe I’m desperate, or maybe I’m lonely, but after going through hell, I need this love more than ever, and it’s killing me.
Chapter 8
Natalie
I know I’ll regret this later, but right now, I don’t care. All I want is more of what he has to offer, and he’s got loads of it, judging from the feverish kisses he plants all over my neck.