Chapter 1
Maisie
“I want to be ruined by him.”
“Dicked down until I can’t walk.”
“He’s the type of guy that you should apologize to if he cheats.”
“That’s going a little far, isn’t it?” I ask, trying for a mild tone since my friends all call me a killjoy when it comes to thirsting over guys.
All the girls’ eyes at the table swing toward me.
“Maisie, are you blind?” my friend Becky says. Indignation colors every word. “Mack Castillo is the reason I’m failing chemistry. I can’t concentrate on the lecture. I actually created an Instagram account for the sole purpose of following him and if there isn’t a new selfie every day, my day is ruined.” She says it like that’s not the least bit crazy.
“Look at him. He’s so gorgeous he’d make a nun forget her vows,” chimes in my roommate Dally. She waves her hand in Mack’s direction. “He has it all. He’s tall with the perfect kind of muscles—the ones that are defined but not so enormous that it looks fake. His face is literally perfect.”
All the girls nod vigorously in agreement. “We have the same biology class and the professor had him stand up in the front and used him as an example of a symmetric face. Both sides of his face are exact replicas of the other. Plus, the distance from his eyes to his mouth is precisely one-third of his face. So, basically science agrees with us. He’s the hottest man alive,” Dally finishes, using science to prove her point.
I tap my spoon against the lunch tray and take a long look at the object of my friends’ obsession sitting three tables away. Mack is everything that my friends said he was—tall, muscular, with a face that doesn’t make me want to puke. Still, I feel unmoved by him. Not a spark of attraction. The idea of being dicked down until I can’t walk sounds uncomfortable and not sexy.
I try to envision him naked but the image of the last unsolicited dick pic I received flashes in front of my eyes. The cafeteria lasagna starts to climb up my throat and I hastily avert my eyes, but not before Mack catches me staring.
“Oh my God,” Becky whisper-screams. “I think he just winked at you.”
“He’s getting up,” hisses Heidi.
“He’s walking this way!” Dally nearly shouts. I’m not sure if that’s panic or excitement in her tone.
I want to sink into the floor.
“If he asks you out, you have to say yes. Say yes, go home, fuck his brains out and come back and tell us everything,” Heidi breathes into my ear. That sounds horrible on every level.
I close my eyes and send out a prayer to the universe. Please let it be that he’s just walking to get more milk. If he does stop at our table, have him talk to Dally. Heidi’s taken so Dally or Becky can have him. Just not m—
“Hey, Maisie, right? I think we had calc last semester.”
I know I should smile, raise my head, and shake this boy’s hand, but I don’t want to. I don’t want this kind of forced interaction. Why is he coming over here simply because I looked at him? It wasn’t an invitation. I was inspecting him, like a scientist would inspect an insect. Be nice, I can hear my mom saying. It costs you nothing to be nice.
Actually, it costs me time and energy, I retort in my head, but good manners win out. I lift my chin, paste on a smile and give the boy a nod.
“Yes, calc. It was terrible.” I suck at math and hope I will never have to solve another equation again.
“Oh, I didn’t know you hated it. You should’ve said something. I could’ve helped you out.” His eyes twinkle in a way that I think I’m supposed to find enticing but it only makes me uncomfortable. I drop my gaze to his chin, fighting my need to fidget but that’s a mistake because now I’m staring at his stubble. Why do guys think that’s attractive? It looks like dirt stuck to his skin. “Any math subjects this semester?”
I force myself to pay attention and not be rude. “No. I plan to live my life in such a way that I will never need to do any calculations that are beyond the scope of my phone’s calculator.”
Mack throws back his head and howls with laughter. I look to my friends to find out what’s so funny but they’re dumbfounded too. Becky wiggles her eyebrows, signaling Mack is hooked and now is the time for me to reel him in. I feign ignorance. It’s time to wrap this little encounter up before Mack gets any bad ideas. The last guy that I turned down lit a bottle of Coors Light on fire and threw it at the front door of my house. The landlord wasn’t very happy and it took a lot of cajoling along with one of my famous layer cakes to stop him from kicking me and Dally out.
“That’s cute,” Mack says after his chortling winds down.
“You’re cute,” Becky replies. “Isn’t he?”
Everyone choruses, “Hell, yes.” Even the girl at the next table over. They are all in agreement when it comes to Mack’s level of attraction. I remain quiet.
Becky kicks my leg. “Isn’t he, Maisie?” Dally fights not to laugh.
“Ow.” I cast a dark look at my roommate because she isn’t saving me like normal, but nod because I don’t want to have two sore shins. “Yes, very cute.” Even saying the words sounds weird on my lips. I know he can tell my response is forced and I’m okay with that. My plan is to say whatever it is that I need to so that he’ll go away as soon as possible.
Mack smiles and every single girl in the room sighs. I swear for a second he’s almost uncomfortable. Every girl reacts to him besides myself and one other. The other is Star, a violet-haired girl sitting at my favorite table, which is tucked into the corner. I love that spot because it’s peaceful and overlooks the pretty garden the horticulture club works so hard to keep up. Star looks like a flower from that garden so it’s probably perfect that she’s sitting at that particular table. She has things scattered all over the table and it looks as though she may be sketching or doodling. It’s hard for me to tell from this distance.
I sigh, putting my chin in my hand. Every time I see Star, the girl has been either reading or drawing in her notebook. No matter what’s going on in the world, Star seems to be able to block it out. There was a massive fight in the quad a couple weeks ago between two guys. I can’t remember what instigated it. Dally insists that it was something related to me—about how I let one guy open a door for me but didn’t let the other guy do the same? I’m sure that can’t be the reason but regardless, it happened right in front of Star and the girl never looked up from what she was doing, not even when a punch sent one of the guys to the bench beside her. I would love to reach that level of unbothered.
I channel a little inner Star and pick up my tray. “Nice to meet you. Good luck in your future math classes.”
I practically sprint to the exit, shoving the tray onto the discard assembly belt and bolt out the door. Outside, I realize I forgot my purse and backpack next to the table. I peek through the windows and see
that Mack is still with my friends. Dally is speaking animatedly while Mack leans back from her, trying to make a little space between them so one of Dally’s hands doesn’t hit him. I brighten. Maybe he’s asking Dally out.
“Um, you’re blocking the door,” a voice says behind me.
I whirl around to see Star glaring at me. I feel my face turn bright red. “I-I’m sorry.”
“Okay, but can you move?” the small girl asks with a bite of impatience. “I’ve only got thirty minutes before my tutoring appointment starts and I’ve got to drop something off at my advisor’s office.” She runs an agitated hand through her soft purple hair. I don’t know why she’s so irritated with me.
My eyes track the movement. Star’s hair is always so shiny. I wonder if she uses a keratin treatment or argan oil to get it that glossy or whether it’s natural? I suspect it’s natural because there’s nothing about Star to suggest she spends much time in front of the mirror, despite the fancy hair color. The shorter girl is always dressed in track pants or jeans, an oversized T-shirt in the summer and a big flannel button-down in the winter. I think the clothes are borrowed from her boyfriend although I’ve never seen Star with anyone. The thought of her with a boyfriend bums me out for some reason I don’t fully understand. I’m not sure why I would even care.
Star clears her throat. “The door?”
I jerk to attention. ”Oh, right. Sorry. The door.”
Beet red, I slide to the left, which just so happens to be the exit door, and immediately lose my balance as my two friends come barreling through. I stumble and reach out to steady myself, not realizing that the thing I grabbed is Star’s arm. There’s a horrifying ripping sound. I release the shirt but it’s too late.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, reaching out with both hands although to do what, I’m not sure. It’s not like I can stitch the thing back together.
Star is full of the same skepticism. She pulls the sleeve up uselessly and backs away. “It’s all good. I’m sure it can be fixed. Just...let me through, okay?”
“Sure. Sure. But here.” I whip out a notebook, scribble down my phone number and tear the sheet out. I thrust the torn paper toward Star. “Take this. I’ll have the shirt fixed. Please tell your boyfriend that I’m sorry for ruining his shirt. Your shirt. Whatever.”
Star gives me a weird look—one that suggests I’ve been smoking too much weed—but takes the paper from my hand. “It’s fine. And I don’t have a boyfriend. Why would you ever date a guy when there are all these cute girls around?” She shakes her head like I’m the dumbest person she’s ever encountered and then takes off.
“What was that all about?” Dally says. I stand there shocked as her words penetrate my thick skull. For the first time when it comes to dating that actually sounds right. I suddenly feel like a piece that’s been missing clicks into place.
Chapter 2
Star
“You get her number?”
I smack my brother’s giant chest to make him move out of my way. He’s standing in the entryway to the kitchen. We share a place near campus. I don’t know how we ever shared a womb. My brother is big all over. I’m guessing because I’m so small. It’s the only way both of us were ever able to share a womb in my mom. I’m surprised my mom was able to lug us around since she’s as small as I am. Mack’s giant body fills up the whole doorway to the kitchen.
“Move.” I thump his chest again. Not that it does any good. Mack is unmovable. The only way he’s moving is if he wants to. He’s grown bigger than our dad and that’s saying a lot. My dad Maddox looks like he should have once graced a football field and not the head of a boardroom.
“Answer me and I’ll move.” He folds his arms over his chest. “I saw her give you a piece of paper.”
“Yes. She gave me her number.” I roll my eyes, trying to play it cool. I don’t usually get silly crushes. That might be the problem I have with Maisie. I don’t think this would be only a crush. I can see myself falling off the deep end for her. She is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. She takes perfection to a whole new level. Her most appealing quality is that she doesn’t know her level of attractiveness. Even if she does, she doesn’t act anything but humble.
Mack finally steps aside, letting me into the kitchen, happy he got the response he wanted. He’s all smiles. He’s smitten with himself. He doesn’t need to be. Every girl in the world already is with him. He doesn’t need to add himself to his own list.
“Thank God. Her friend Dolly is—"
“Dally,” I correct him. I think he knows her name. He knows everything so I don’t know why he says it wrong. Yes, I know who her friends are too. I also know she and Dally share an apartment. I don’t know why but something about Dally rubs me the wrong way.
“Whatever. She’s scary. I was almost assaulted by her animated hands. She’s a toucher.” The smile he’s been rocking drops from his mouth and I can’t read the expression on his face. It’s one I’ve never seen before.
Mack doesn’t like being touched except by family. I think it’s because one too many girls have done it to him. They usually fall all over him. It’s always been that way and he can’t stand it. Mack is a genius but people often miss that about him because he’s so handsome.
“You’re the one who went over there and talked to them,” I remind him as I search for something to eat. There is always something packed in here. Mack inherited our aunt MJ’s cooking skills, where I am more our mom and burn water. I never worry about the contents of the fridge, knowing that if Mack doesn’t have the time to cook, my mom will be by to stock it with some goodies.
“’Cause you’re always looking at her but never do anything about it.” He shrugs, leaning up against the doorframe. I’d be jealous if I hadn’t known what my brother was up to when he went up to Maisie and her friends.
“She’s hard to miss.” I point out the obvious. Mack shrugs. Okay, maybe not that obvious to him. The two of them really could be kindred spirits. Mack has girls falling all over him, while everything with a dick is trying to get near Maisie. Half the time she doesn’t notice and the other half of the time she looks like a deer caught in headlights. She has no idea how beautiful she is. It’s hard to focus on my book sometimes when she’s near. I have to will myself to pay attention to what I’m doing. I am one of the many who want to fall all over her, which isn’t like me. I don’t go chasing after girls. I definitely don’t pine over one I don’t think I have a chance with.
Sure, I play for the same team. I just don’t crush on girls who are straight. At least I think she is. To be honest, I’m not real sure what she’s into. She almost has this innocence to her that makes me think she’s not even sure what she wants herself.
I’ve never seen her take up with any of the men who are always hitting on her. In fact, like my brother, she is always trying to get away from them. She panics when one tries to hit on her. Mack is more smooth about getting himself in and out of situations with girls. Her face was pure shock when I told her I’m not into men. She assumed I have a boyfriend and that I’d been wearing his clothes.
These are all mine. It is my favorite shirt, in fact. My mind flashes to her wearing my shirt. Her bare long legs that go on forever, making it barely cover her ass. Her eyes filled with sleep as she strolls around my bedroom looking for her panties that I’d tossed away when we’d fallen into my bed.
“She’s pretty.” Mack jerks me from my thoughts. He smirks, knowing it’s going to irritate me that he’s commenting on her looks. “I know you’re into her,” he adds quickly, before I can smack him again for good measure.
“She probably doesn’t know we’re related,” I point out. I’m not sure what Mack thought he was doing when he went over to their table. I saw him do it out of the corner of my eye. “What if she had wanted you?” I slam the fridge door just thinking about it. “I don’t need a wingman,” I remind him for the millionth time. He doesn’t want to date but here he is trying to set me up all of the time
.
My focus is school. It is the one thing my brother and I have in common. It is the Castile in us. We are a driven bunch. I don’t need a crush taking up my every thought. I could feel it already taking hold when Maisie thrust her phone number at me. I shouldn’t have taken the paper from her but I did.
“Trust me. That girl has no idea I exist. It’s refreshing.” Mack pushes off the door, going to the fridge. He pulls something out and starts to make a plate I know is for me. I reach into my pocket and pull out the number that’s been burning a hole in it. I stare down at it. Her handwriting is as perfect and beautiful as she is. She reminds me of one of those models that wears a set of wings on the runway. I think they are called angels. It fits her, with her big green eyes and her blond hair that’s so long it drops down to her pert ass.
“Are you smelling that?”
I jerk the paper away from my nose. I wasn’t smelling it! My face heats and I bet I’m as red as Maisie had gotten when she ran into me. I’m guessing I don’t look as sexy as she did when it happened. Her look was so adorably flustered that my whole body had lit up. Then I was a jerk to her.
Mack laughs as he puts the plate into the microwave. I’d laugh too if I was him. The paper smells like lemon. It reminds me of her, bright and sunny. A wave of guilt washes over me at how rude I acted toward her.
“I was rude to her,” I admit to my brother. I drop the paper down onto the kitchen counter. I tell him most things but I haven’t told him about my crush on Maisie. It isn’t a secret in my family that I am into girls. It’s always been known. I am never shy or worried that any of my family cares. We are a loyal bunch and nothing can change that. I think I haven’t mentioned Maisie to Mack because I don’t think it can go anywhere. Still, he picked up on it. I should have known he would. He notices everything.