I wasn’t accustomed to being useless. I needed to work. There wasn’t a place for me here. As much as I was quickly becoming absorbed by Alessandra, that was unhealthy. What I was going through was simple lust. I was infatuated with her body and her beauty. It would fade and then what? I’d have lost everything.
No, I had to stay the course. Even if the idea of crushing Alessandra hurt my soul, I would do it because in the end, nothing truly lasted anyway.
My stomach roiled at my decision. In defiant response, I downed my wine and poured a fresh glass. I was a Donato. I wasn’t like my brothers. I didn’t believe in love and I didn’t believe in throwing away everything that ever meant anything to someone over a temporary emotion.
Unlike a romantic comedy, real life sucked.
The guy didn’t always get the girl.
Sometimes the guy screwed the girl over, left her behind in the wreckage and boarded a plane to go home to his empty life.
You said it...empty life.
All I had was my work and I’d ceased to be fulfilled by the thrill of the office a long time ago. I was an asshole because I was miserable.
There was a reason I found happy couples annoying—because I didn’t have what they did.
It was jealousy.
Jesus, I was fucking jealous of what I couldn’t have, what I pushed away and rejected.
Alessandra was the real deal. I could love her. Hell, I probably already did. I couldn’t get enough of her, that much I knew.
But that didn’t change my situation. I could be crazy in love with Alessandra and it didn’t change a damn thing.
I had no place in her world.
So, the question was, did I walk away now without destroying her legacy, so my father couldn’t get his grubby hands on her winery, or did I deliver what I was expected to because there was no future between us and clinging to what I knew was the lesser of two evils?
I didn’t have the answer.
All I knew was I wanted Alessandra curled up beside me more than anything right now.
Fuck.
Sleep wasn’t going to find me tonight.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Alessandra
I HADN’T HEARD from Dante since leaving his hotel room and the launch was tonight. In spite of my bold words, I hadn’t invited anyone else. I didn’t want anyone else on my arm. My nerves were stretched taut. I hadn’t talked to my father about the launch, and I couldn’t account for my hesitancy. All I knew was, each time I tried to gather the courage, I chickened out and pushed the task away. Now I found myself out of time.
Surprisingly, Como hadn’t tattled on me, which I found curious. I thought if he was seeking revenge, that would be the route he’d go. Nothing had been leaked to the press either. I could only hope he’d had a sudden change of heart, and out of shame for his behavior, decided to simply leave me and the launch alone.
As a precaution, though, I had talked to security about making sure they spoke to me if he tried to get into the event tonight. I didn’t hate Como—we’d shared too much—but life had a way of removing the people we’d outgrown, and I wasn’t going to question what God had set in motion.
I said a prayer for Como’s happiness and moved on. As if on cue, my nonno walked in, the signature sound of his oak cane hitting the hardwood floor ingrained in my mind. I smiled before even seeing him. A visit from Nonno was always a welcome respite, especially so when my nerves were drawn tight.
“Have you come to check up on me?” I asked.
“The launch is tonight. Are you excited?”
“Very.” And nervous enough to vomit. “Are you excited?”
“I am proud,” he said, resting his hand on the knob of his cane. “You have come very far, my patatina.”
“I haven’t told my father about the wine we are debuting. He thinks it’s another campaign for the Classico Riserva.”
He clicked his tongue and shook his head with amusement. “My granddaughter lives for the thrill.”
“I’m not so sure about that. I’m just a coward who can’t seem to find her tongue.”
“You are no coward,” he corrected me. “Bravery isn’t the absence of fear. It’s pushing forward in spite of the fear.”
“So full of wisdom,” I said, winking at my handsome grandfather. My heart swelled with love for the old man but I needed direction, not cute snippets. “Tell me what to do. I’m not sure how to handle this. Should I wait and let him discover our new wine when everyone else does or should I face the dragon and tell him now?”
Nonno chuckled, shaking his head. “I don’t need to tell you anything. You know what the right decision is.”
He was right. I hung my head, knowing the answer. I needed to give my father a heads-up before tonight. Worry ate into my voice. “But what if he’s angry?”
Nonno shrugged. “Then he will be angry and then he will get over it.”
So simple. Why couldn’t I embrace my nonno’s reasoning? My heart hurt along with my head. The fact was, I wanted my father’s blessing and I was afraid I would never have it because he didn’t think me capable of making bold decisions.
If I failed, it would only cement my father’s belief that he was right.
If I succeeded, maybe it would turn the wheel in my father’s head that change was good and not to be feared.
Or maybe he would cling to the hurt caused by my betrayal and never forgive me, no matter my accomplishment.
There were a lot of maybes.
My thoughts drifted unhappily to Dante, where even more questions tugged at my brain.
I wanted Dante more than anyone I’d ever known. It was a foreign feeling and it scared me. When I closed my eyes I saw him in my future. I wanted to laugh, cry, fight, make love—everything that made up a full life—with Dante. I could accept no substitutes.
“You have that look in your eyes that your mind is elsewhere. Is there something else you need to talk about?”
I laughed. “Since when did you become a therapist, Nonno?”
“It comes with age. Nothing else works but my mind so might as well put it to good use.”
“It’s nothing,” I said, annoyed with myself that I was letting the situation with Dante get the better of me. “Something I need to work out on my own.”
Nonno’s knowing smile made me feel transparent. Was I really that easy to read? Or was my grandfather a mind reader of some sort? Drawing himself up to his full height, he said, “Your father will come around. As for the other man in your life, if he’s worthy of you, he’ll come around, too. If not, he was never strong enough to stand beside you, my girl.”
And with that, he smiled and promised to see me tonight, wearing his best tuxedo and a proud smile.
My eyes pricked with emotion. Why couldn’t life be as simple a picture as my grandfather painted?
Maybe it was that simple and I was the one complicating things. I was overthinking everything. Anxiety had sharpened my worst edges and I was cutting myself on the blades.
Nonno was right in all things. When my father put me in charge, it was with the understanding that I would make decisions he might not always agree with, but that they were my decisions to make. I used my own money to fund the tenerones and if Uva Persa did as well as I thought it would, I’d make my own fortune apart from the Baroni trust while pushing the family business into a new world of possibilities.
I closed my eyes and said a prayer to Enzo for his strength and his courage. “This is your dream, brother,” I murmured. “Help me to make it successful.”