I dropped to my knees and crawled over to him where he immediately pulled me into his arms and held me hard.
I shuddered with relief as I clung to him nearly as tightly.
Now, we were getting somewhere…
26
It was nearing midnight.
Gage and I were locked in each other’s arms, cocooned in the darkness of the bedroom.
“Tell me about Dustin,” I said softly, my head resting on Gage’s broad chest.
Gage took a halting breath and I knew this was going to be like pulling quills from his heart but it needed to be done.
“Typical fourteen-year-old,” he began with a sigh as he recalled memories. “Cocky, smart as hell. Smarter than me, actually. But unlike me, Dustin had charm. Always managed to get the girls to notice him, even the older ones, like your sister, who he had a crush on, by the way.”
I smiled. I could only imagine how love-struck a young freshman might’ve been around my sister. She had that ‘good-girl pretty’ thing going on and always had. Unlike me, who had the ‘touch me and die’ look most days. My smile melted into a puzzled frown. “Why didn’t you tell me from the start that we lived in the same town at one point? That you knew me.”
That part still threw me for a wild loop.
I felt his body jostle and I knew he was shaking his head. “Mari…Dustin may have had a crush on your sister but the first time I saw you…fuck, it was like a thunderbolt crashed into my chest. I wanted to ask you out but I was already graduated and my dad…well, I didn’t want you to see what a fucking psychopath he was.”
That I could understand. I wish we’d met before the tragedy of his brother being killed. Maybe our paths would’ve been different.
“I never forgot you, Mari. No matter where I went, you were always there…the dream girl who I’d never have a shot with. When I happened to discover you working at that dive bar, by complete accident I swear, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
Puzzled, I replayed events in my head. “But when we first met you pretended not to know me at all. I mean, why?”
“You have to understand, I knew I didn’t deserve someone like you but I was a selfish enough bastard to still go after what I wanted. It was easier to tell myself that if I paid you, I’d never have to worry about you falling for me…even if I’d fallen for you way before you ever knew.” He drew a short breath, blowing it out with a bemused chuckle, adding, “Boy, I fucked that one up, didn’t I?”
“I happen to be a card-carrying member of the Fuck Up Club,” I teased. “We offer snacks and zero judgment at all our meetings.”
He laughed softly. “Is that so? Maybe I’ll join.”
I smiled, holding him more snugly. “So, why’d you and your family move?” I asked, returning to the subject of his childhood.
“Because that’s what we did. Daryl always up and moved us when people started noticing shit. I was technically an adult by that point but I couldn’t leave Dustin alone with that dick. I was trying to save up enough money for the both of us to bail when that fucking night happened.”
Any semblance of jocularity evaporated as I held my breath, giving Gage the space he needed to tell the story at his own pace.
This moment felt crucial to any kind of future we might have together. If it were within my power, I’d wave a magic wand and wish away all his pain but as much as it sucked, I knew he had to go through the fire to get to the other side.
Healing was a bitch that way.
“The shot wasn’t meant for Dustin,” Gage admitted, his voice cracking along with my heart. “Fucking idiot trying to be a hero…”
He wiped at his eyes, sniffling. My heart cracked at the obvious pain in his voice. When certain guys cried — you know, the hard, stoic type — it was like a bullet to to the heart.
And right now, my heart was shattering.
“Daryl and I had gone at it. Fucking asshole was drunk again and when that happened he always tried to beat on one of us. I was bigger than him at that point so he went to hit Dustin. I threw him down. I actually thought maybe I’d put the fear of God into the bastard until he showed back up with his shotgun pointed right at my chest. He was going to fucking shoot me. It all happened so fast, though. The next thing I knew, Dustin was bleeding all over the place, gagging on his own blood and then he was gone.”
“Oh my God,” I said with true horror. “How awful for you to go through that.”
Gage choked on his words as he finished, “The little fucker had tried to push me out of the way. Why hadn’t he just let me take the bullet?”
I closed my eyes, swamped by the horror. I couldn’t imagine losing my sister, especially like that. “Because he loved you,” I answered, sharing the simple truth. “You were his big brother, his protector. He couldn’t possibly just stand there and let that bastard shoot you.”
“I wish he had.”
A lump rose in my throat but I remained quiet. Survivor guilt was something that would take time to heal but I would stand by him while he processed through it.
“The asshole ran as soon as he’d realized what he’d done. Neighbors heard the shot and called police. They found him, slobbering drunk, ranting and raving about how ‘the stupid kid deserved it if it didn’t have the good sense to stay out of the way.’ He went to lock up and then, prison. I never saw him again. The fucker died too easily, in my opinion. Heart attack. Never knew what hit him, according to the prison doctor.”
“Did you attend the trial?”
“Nope. I gave my statement and the evidence from the crime scene was overwhelming. Not to mention, my dad pretty much admitted he’d shot Dustin, even going so far as to say he only wished the bullet had kept going and taken out both his ‘bitch-ass bastards.’ The State of Arizona was satisfied with the findings. My dad wasn’t what you’d call an upstanding citizen. A convicted felon and a mean drunk…he didn’t exactly make friends wherever he went. That’s another reason we were always on the move. After he’d burned every bridge, he’d find another place to hole up, steal, sell drugs, whatever he could do without actually holding down a job. Frankly, I was just grateful I’d never had a sister. I have no doubt he would’ve turned her out for cash if he could.”
I grimaced. “Disgusting,” I said. “I think you’re right…he deserved a much more painful death.”
“You have no idea.”
A beat of silence passed before I shared, “My sister said when she asked Dustin about the bruises, he told her it was from dirt-biking.” If only I could rewind time to change the outcome. “If he’d told the truth…”
“It wouldn’t have mattered. Daryl always seemed one step ahead of social services. It was always like that. It was safer to lie than deal with his wrath.” He shifted, wincing a little. “It’s easy to beat the system if you know what you’re doing. You have no idea how many kids die at the hands of their dirtbag parents because the adults know how to manipulate the checks and balances. My dad kept us moving all the time. The only reason I managed to graduate was because I always handled the school registrations. I made sure Dustin and I’s credits always transferred but it wasn’t easy. Daryl hated school but he knew if he didn’t send us, he’d attract even more attention than if he didn’t.”
My parents had been annoying at times but I’d never had to
deal with abuse. I felt bad for being such a difficult bitch when I’d had it pretty good. I cringed to think of how I’d taken for granted the opportunity to receive an education without having to fight and scrabble for every credit earned.
Comparatively, I’d been a spoiled brat. No wonder my parents had been at their wit’s end with me by the end of high school. I won’t even mention the idiotic things I did in college.
I drew a breath, shaking off my thoughts. “Where is Dustin buried?” I asked.
“A state-run cemetery for orphans and kids in foster care,” Gage answered. I could feel the regret in his tone. “I always hated that but it’s not as if I had anywhere better to lay him to rest. We never had a home base. But to be honest, I couldn’t even say Dustin’s name without breaking down and I had a company to run. It was easier to just stuff my feelings down and move on.”
“Easier, not healthier.”
“Clearly,” he agreed dryly, pointing to the bloody towel wrapped around his calf.
I could suggest moving Dustin to a place closer to Gage but I really didn’t think now was the time to start talking about digging up his brother. Maybe when the time was right, I’d broach the subject again but for now, I was happy to listen.
“So how’d you get to New York?” I asked, curious.
He actually chuckled, the rueful sound telling a story. “I stumbled around Arizona for awhile, found out I had a knack for numbers. I took a few community college courses in basic business, finance, the usual, and then I started looking for ways to put that knowledge to use but Arizona was a bust so I bailed as soon as I had enough money to travel and I headed for New York.”
“And then what?” I asked, amused. “You just happened to stumble on the sacred How To Become A Billionaire playbook?”
“Not exactly. But it is how I met Reece. In a bar, actually. We hit it off, became fast friends, and he invited me to intern at Buchanan Enterprises.”