Her face lit up. “Guess not. But thanks for the rescue anyway.”
“Always,” I whispered. “I’ll always rescue you.”
She stumbled and then clung to me.
I’d like to think it was because of me, not just the words.
But after three more hours of shopping, I truly did want to kill myself.
King had the right idea as he pulled out a flask and dumped the entire thing into his Starbucks coffee.
“A thousand bucks for that coffee,” I offered.
“Two thousand,” Maksim countered.
“Four!” Junior’s voice was desperate. “There was a Hallmark store, it had… cards.”
We all groaned.
“And then, and then it was like, Family. Singing.… Joy…”
More groans.
“Take it!” King shoved his drink toward him. “For your sacrifice, sir.”
“It was so scary…” Junior shuddered.
“Should we kill someone to make it better?” I offered.
“That Santa over there with the perpetual joy looks ripe.” Maksim joked, earning a horrified look from a passing child.
“Kidding!” Maksim laughed. “So sorry, I meant, killing him with joy!”
The kid clearly wasn’t buying it and burst into tears as his harried mother shot us a “mom glare” and rushed her child past.
“Aw shit, three years in a row? Really Maks?” Junior stood. “We had to pay off the fucking mall Santa for scaring the children last year!”
“NOT my fault!” Maksim said and then shrugged. “They should come tougher.”
“They’re KIDS.” Junior rolled his eyes. “Okay, we gotta get the girls before we have to buy our way out of community service.”
We all stood and went in search of Serena and Annie, who were apparently trying to see how many couches they could test at Pottery Barn.
“Gotta go!” Junior picked up Serena while I snatched Annie and shook my head.
“But—”
“No arguing.” I grinned. “Mafia life.”
She rolled her eyes, then wrapped her arms around my neck.
It felt like heaven.
“Big bad mafia life?” She grinned.
“One hundred percent,” I answered. Why was I so breathless? Why did I want to take her back to that couch and kiss my way down her neck counting the ways I could make her scream?
“Mm. Okay. Sure.” She squealed and held on tight.
And I stored the memory of her smile in my heart.
In a place I hadn’t dared open for over a year.
Sacred.
Holy.
Shared.
With someone who knew my pain.
Shopping was over. I had Annie hand King the keys to the Jeep so he could drive it back.
Our ride home was silent other than the Christmas music Annie demanded we play as if she wasn’t afraid of me anymore.
I wanted to hate it.
But I loved it.
Loved her smile.
And her genuine joy.
I parked my car near the front entrance of the garage, and grabbed her few bags, proud that she was finally spending money that my dad had given her. I’d heard she refused for a while, so even though she only had like two bags, it was nice.
Really nice.
“Want these up in your room?” I asked.
Her eyes darted away. “Um, no… actually… they’re not mine.”
“Okay…’” I said slowly. “So do we need to wrap them for someone.”
She shook her head no. “They just go under the tree.”
“We have a tree already?”
“Fingers crossed.” She laughed. “Your dad was supposed to go cut one down with Izzy in your mini-forest out there while we were gone.”
I laughed. “Then it’s going to be a very sad Charlie Brown tree that needs lots of love and has a few scattered patches of branches, damn Izzy.”
“I LOVE CHARLIE BROWN.”
I let out a sigh. “Of course you do.” I held out my hand. “Come on.” When she didn’t do anything, I leaned in and whispered, “You take it—my hand.”
“Oh.” She blushed. “Sorry, yeah… sorry.”
“Forgetting things.” I winked. “It tends to happen in my presence.”
She tripped. “Was that a joke?”
I frowned and then shrugged. “Maybe?”
“Aww, look at you, Ash Abandonato, all grown up…”
“Awww, look at you,” I mimicked. “Annie Smith… being all brave.”
She smiled back at me. “I missed this.”
“What?”
She hesitated, her eyes going sad before she said, “You.”
A knife to the heart would have hurt less.
“I’m sorry—”
“Annie!” The door to my own house burst open. “I missed you!” Tank pulled her in for a hug, glaring at me over her shoulder.
Deserved.
I let him.
Because now I knew.
I would fight for whatever I got.
Even if it just meant friendship.
She laughed as he kissed her cheek.
Or maybe I’d kill him… The night was young!
“Come on!” someone yelled. “Time to eat and open early Friendsmas presents!”
“Shit!” I wanted to bang my head against the counter. “I totally forgot.”
It was Annie who pulled herself away from Tank, took my hand, locked eyes with me, and whispered. “We have you… Gift received.”
So simple.
Pure.
She had no idea that for the next hour, all I could focus on was the gift I would give her.
And I hoped to God she would take it.
Scream it.
Remember it.
Claim it.
Knowing—I’d never deserve it.
Chapter Twenty-One
“The trouble is you think you have time.” —Buddha
Annie
The last twenty-four hours had been… horrifying. Then restorative, in a way, I didn’t realize I needed.