“Bel!”
Bel’s head jerked at the sound of Rafe’s voice so close to him. His brother was only a few feet away as he walked between some high-top tables to where he was standing. How the hell had he missed Rafe when he was so close? Because his mind had been elsewhere instead of focused on what he was supposed to be doing in the first place.
Before he could even reply, his twin was on him, wrapping one arm around his thin shoulders, pulling him in close. Some of the anxiety itching along nerve endings eased at his brother’s familiar embrace. Rafe was safe. Rafe was home.
“Where the devil have you been?” Rafe shouted over the music.
“Just the usual. Lost in my work,” Bel replied, mentally reminding himself that he wasn’t lying. He had been lost in his work. It just wasn’t the type of work any of his brothers would be expecting.
Yes, he needed to tell his family about Wyatt and River. He wasn’t ready yet. He was terrified that they wouldn’t understand, and he was not giving them up. At least not until they found another solution to their problem. Bel would see them safely settled in a life of their own. Not forever dependent upon another for their safety. They deserved freedom and happiness.
Even if it meant never seeing them again.
“You look pale, sweet Bel.” Rafe’s fingers lightly pinched Bel’s chin and tilted his head up even though they were the same height. Rafe liked to see himself as the older, protective brother despite the fact that they were bloody twins. And Bel tolerated it because it made Rafe happy. Well, it also made Bel feel loved, so it was a win for both of them. “When was the last time you fed?”
“It hasn’t been that long. Couple of weeks,” Bel muttered, pulling his chin free.
“Are you feeling ill?”
Bel lifted an eyebrow at him as if to wordlessly remind him that he was a vampire and they did not become ill. But Rafe didn’t back down from the question. It was fair. Bel wasn’t feeling right. He was twitchy and cranky and so fucking needy. He needed someone or rather someones very specific, but it was never going to happen. Instead he was here, looking for a substitute to take the edge off.
“Just need to feed.” Taking a deep breath, he leaned closer to Rafe so he could speak directly into his ear. “I’m looking for something specific, and I was hoping you could help me.”
There was surprise written clearly in Rafe’s wide eyes, but to his credit, Rafe didn’t utter a word of mocking, and Bel was so damn grateful.
“I’m always here to help you,” Rafe murmured with full sincerity.
Hating the burning in his cheeks, Bel gave a clear description of the type of donor he was looking for tonight. There was no fooling himself. The picture he was painting would have matched Wyatt down to his warm smile and laughing eyes.
Rafe rubbed a couple of fingers across his lips as his eyes skimmed over the crowd of people drinking and dancing around them. “That is rather specific,” Rafe murmured.
“If you can’t—”
“I didn’t say that,” Rafe interrupted, his smile returning. “Why don’t you go to the staff hallway? I’ll meet you there in a moment with a new friend.”
Bel nodded and started to work his way around the crowd. This was an arrangement he’d not taken advantage of in quite a while. At least three or four decades. He usually only came to Rafe for help with hunting when he’d gone too long between feedings and he wasn’t sure about his own control. Having his brother watching his back and protecting his victim always made him feel more secure.
But tonight wasn’t about protection and safety. It was about scratching an itch that he wasn’t sure he’d be able to on his own. Rafe was the suave, devil-may-care rascal. Even if he’d tossed aside his penchant for meaningless sex with nameless people, he still knew how to charm and dazzle people. And if it became completely necessary, he could use his gift to cloud their minds and wipe their memories.
To his relief, the dimly lit hallway was empty when he reached it. He’d briefly spotted Lola at her usual spot by the bar and Gideon was dancing in his gilded cage high above the crowd. He thought he spotted Jullien moving through the dancing people, but he wasn’t completely sure. The vampires were all a part of the Varik clan now, as well as employees at Blush. They were there mostly to keep the peace among the vampires who came to play at Blush, but to also protect the humans.
Leaning against the wall, Bel closed his eyes and tried to settle the roiling emotions in his gut. This was so very stupid. He needed to learn to squash all these wants and desires. They were wrong. Yes, he wanted Wyatt and River so badly he could taste it. He wanted to touch and hold them. He wanted to feel their lips pressed to his and all that warm skin rubbing along his naked body. He wanted it so bad his empty hands ached, and unshed tears burned his eyes.