The Time Paradox (Artemis Fowl 6)

“Animal fat is poison to fairies,” explained Artemis. “Blocks the magical flow. Turns their own power rancid.”

A shadow settled on Butler’s brow. “Opal made me do it. She . . . Miss Book approached me at the main gates as I was leaving for the airport. I was trapped in my own skull.”

Artemis laid a gentle hand on his bodyguard’s forearm. “I know. No apologies are necessary.”

Butler remembered that he did not have his weapon, and he remembered who did have it. “What did you do with Schalke? Knockout dart?”

“No. Our paths did not cross.”

Butler staggered to the bedroom door, Artemis hot on his heels. “Opal is controlling him, though he’s making her work for it. We need to secure them both right now.”

It took them several minutes to reach the security booth, with Butler pulling himself along the walls, and by that time Opal was already gone. Artemis ran to the window just in time to see the blocky rear end of a vintage Mercedes take the bend in the driveway. A small figure bounced on the backseat. Two bounces, the first time it was Opal, the second Miss Imogen Book.

Already her power returns, realized Artemis.

Butler loomed above him, panting. “This isn’t over yet.”

Artemis did not respond to the comment. Butler was simply stating the patently obvious.

Then the engine noise increased in volume and pitch.

“Gear change,” said Butler. “She’s coming back.”

Artemis felt a chill pass over his heart, though he had been expecting it.

Of course she’s coming back, he thought. She will never have another chance like this one. Butler can barely walk. Holly and No1 will be diminished for hours, and I am a mere human. If she retreats now, Jayjay will be free of her forever. Soon Foaly’s squad will arrive from Tara and whisk the little lemur underground. For perhaps five minutes, Opal has the upper hand.

Artemis planned quickly. “I need to take Jayjay away from here. So long as he is in the manor, everyone is in danger. Opal will kill us all to cover her tracks.”

Butler nodded, sweat running in rivulets through the lines on his face. “Yes. We can make it to the Cessna.”

“I can make it to the Cessna, old friend,” corrected Artemis. “I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.”

It was a sensible tactic, and Butler knew it was coming before Artemis said it. He was in such bad shape that he would slow Artemis down. Not only that but the manor would be wide open for any of Opal’s thralls to stroll in and exact her revenge.

“Very well. Don’t take her over seven thousand feet, and watch the flaps: they’re a bit sticky.”

Artemis nodded as if he didn’t know. Giving instructions comforted Butler.

“Seven thousand. Flaps. Got it.”

“Would you like a gun? I have a neat Beretta.”

Artemis shook his head. “No guns. My aim is so bad that even with Holly’s eye to help me, I would probably only succeed in shooting off a toe or two. No, all I need is the bait.” He paused. “And my sunglasses.”

CHAPTER 15

MURDER MOST FOWL

The Fowl family currently had three aircrafts. A Lear jet and Sikorsky helicopter, which were hangared at the nearby airport, and a small Cessna that lived in a small garage workshop beside the high meadow on the northern border of the estate. The Cessna was several years old and would have been recycled some time ago, had Artemis not taken it on as a project. His aim was to make it carbon neutral and cost effective, a goal that his father heartily approved of.

“I have forty scientists working on the same problem, but my money is on you,” he had confided to his son.

And so Artemis coated the entire body of the craft with lightweight superefficient solar panels, like NASA’s prototype flying wing—the Helios. Unlike the Helios, Artemis’s Cessna could still fly at its normal speeds and take passengers. This was because Artemis had removed the single engine and installed smaller ones to turn the main propeller, the four extra props on the wings, and the landing gear. Most of the metal in the skeleton had been stripped out and replaced with a lightweight polymer. Where the fuel tank had been now sat a small battery.

There were still a few adjustments to make, but Artemis believed his ship was skyworthy. He hoped so. There was a lot riding on the soundness of the little craft. He sprinted from the kitchen door, across the courtyard, and toward the high meadow. With any luck Opal would not realize he was gone until she saw the plane taking off. Of course, then he wanted her to see him. Hopefully he could draw her away long enough for LEP reinforcements to arrive.

Artemis felt the tiredness in his legs before he had gone a hundred yards. He had never been the athletic type, and the recent time-stream jaunts had done nothing for his physique, even though he had concentrated hard on his muscles during the trips, willing himself to tone up. A little mind-over-matter experiment that sadly had not yielded any results.

The old farm gate to the meadow was closed, so Artemis scaled it rather than struggle with the heavy bolt. He could feel the heat from the simian’s body high inside his jacket, and its little hands were tight on his neck.

Jayjay must be safe, he thought. He must be saved.

The garage doors were sturdier than they looked, and were protected with a keypad entry system. Artemis tapped in the code and threw open the doors wide, flooding the interior with the deep orange rays of the early evening sun. Inside, nestled in a horseshoe of benches and tool trolleys, was the modified Cessna, hooked up to a supplementary power cable. Artemis snapped the cable from its socket on the fuselage and clambered into the cockpit. He strapped himself into the pilot’s seat, remembering briefly when he had first flown this plane solo.

Nine years old. I needed a booster seat.

The engines started immediately and virtually silently. The only noise came from the whirring of the propellers and the clicks of switches as Artemis ran through his preflight check.

The news was generally good. Eighty percent power. That gave the small plane a range of several hundred miles. Easy enough to lead Opal on a merry dance along the Irish coast. But the flaps were sticky and the seals were old.

Don’t take her over seven thousand feet.

“We’re going to be fine,” he said to the passenger inside his jacket. “Absolutely fine.”

Was this the truth? He could not be certain.

The high meadow was wide and long, and sloped gently upward to the estate wall. Artemis nudged the Cessna from her hangar, swinging the nose in a tight turn to give himself maximum runway. Under ideal circumstances the five-hundred-yard grass runway was more than ample for a takeoff. But there was a tailwind, and the grass was a few inches longer than it should have been.

Despite these considerations we should be okay. I have flown in worse conditions than this.

The takeoff was textbook. Artemis pulled back on the nosewheel at the three-hundred-yard mark and comfortably cleared the north wall. Even at this low altitude he could see the Irish sea to the west, black with scimitars of sunlight slicing across the wave tips.

He was tempted, for the merest fraction of a moment, just to flee, but he didn’t.

Have I changed utterly? Artemis asked himself. He realized that he was running out of palatable crimes. Not so long ago, nearly all crime had been acceptable to him.

No, he decided. There were still people who deserved to be stolen from, or exposed, or dropped in the deep jungle with only flip-flops and a spoon. He would just have to put more effort into finding them.

Artemis activated the wing cameras. There was one such person on the avenue below. A megalomaniacal, cold-hearted pixie. Opal Koboi. Artemis could see her striding toward the manor, jamming Holly’s helmet down over her ears.

I was afraid of that. She thought to take the helmet. A most valuable tool.

Still, he had no alternative but to attract her attention. The lives of his family and friends were at stake. Artemis took the Cessna down a hundred feet, following Opal’s path to the manor. She may not hear the engine, but the sensors in Holly’s helmet would throw up a dozen red lights.

On cue, Opal stopped in her tracks, throwing her gaze skyward and capturing the small plane in her sights.

Come on, Opal, thought Artemis. Take the bait. Run a thermal.

Opal strode purposefully toward the manor until she snagged the toe of one LEP boot under the heel of another.

Stupid tall elf, she thought furiously, righting herself. When I am queen . . . No . . . when I am empress, all tall fairies will have their legs modified. Or better still, I will have a human pituitary gland grafted to my brain so that I shall be the tall one. A giant among fairies, physically and mentally.

She had other plans too: An Opalesque cosmetic face mold that could give any of her adoring fans the Koboi look in seconds. A homeopathic hoverchair covered in massage bars and mood sensors that would read her humor and spray whatever scents were needed to cheer her up.