His phone vibrated. Digging it out of his pocket, he grimaced. ‘Mum.’ Letting the call go to voice mail he noticed there were two other missed calls.
‘She’s up early.’ There was censure in Brenna’s voice. Did she think he’d be racing back to Kamloops today? Any day?
Not that he could fault her for that. He’d done it before. He hadn’t talked to her about his folks since returning to Vancouver, hadn’t told her much at all about anything important. ‘She’s still learning I’m not there to jump every time she wants something.’
She was staring out of the conservatory, her knuckles white around that mug. ‘It’s a hard one, that.’
So, she definitely still had issues about his family. ‘I’ve moved here for good, Brenna. No matter what happens, I am not going back to Kamloops.’
Silence. Tense and heavy.
He rushed on, needing to explain himself. ‘I’ve made sure there are support systems in place, and the medical people at the retirement village are up to speed with Dad’s depression bouts.’
‘They’re serious?’
He nodded. ‘Very. You won’t find a headache pill anywhere in the house because of them.’
‘He’s tried to commit suicide?’ Understanding was dawning in her face, as was disappointment—in him. ‘You never once told me about this. I thought we had a strong relationship.’
He squirmed. ‘I’m sorry, but it’s hard to tell people your dad’s suicidal and selfish and all the rest of what goes on with his depression. I told a close friend once and he never looked at me the same again. As a teen I used to worry I might turn out the same. It wasn’t until I moved to Vancouver, away from it all, and could spread my wings, that I knew for certain I am nothing like my father.’
‘I still should have known.’
‘I tried more than once to say something, but the words kept banking up in my throat. I had this irrational fear that if I told you it might turn out I mightn’t be the happy, hardworking guy you knew.’ He drew a deep breath. ‘Now it’s all about looking out for Dylan.’
‘You could do that in Kamloops.’
‘To a certain extent, but it isn’t the life I have worked for. I feel most at home here, in a vibrant city where I’ve got friends who believe in me, where I can do the work I trained for on a larger scale, where Dylan can grow up unshackled by his grandparents’ need to force their woes onto him.’
Now he had her attention. Her eyes widened as they locked on him. She straightened her back and really looked at him. ‘They what?’ she demanded.
He shoved his hands in his pockets to hide the shaking that had started up. Against his fingers the phone started vibrating again. Blindly pressing buttons till it stopped, he took a breath and spilled.
‘They’re already grooming Dylan to do as they want. Mum tells him how Dad hears voices in his head and that Dylan has to be careful or Granddad will tell the monsters to get him.’ He might be being disloyal, but he was fighting for his integrity here. He needed Brenna to believe in him again. Didn’t matter if they had a future or not, she had to believe in him like she once had. ‘Dad demands my lad be his general runabout, getting things, doing jobs that are beyond a four-year-old.’
‘That’s wrong.’
‘Yes, it is.’ He knew too well where it would have led if he hadn’t taken Dylan out of the picture. He’d had the same grooming all his life. Except for when he’d been living in Vancouver. His parents had given him space then, for a few years, and he’d begun to believe he was free to get on with his own goals. But the cord had been there all along, and when they’d begun winding it in, playing on his guilt for the quad-bike accident when he was a kid believing he was helping them, he’d gone along with it. ‘It’s not happening any more.’ To Dylan or to him. He had paid his dues.
‘Good.’ There wasn’t a lot of conviction in that one word.
‘Brenna, I know what I have to do and I’m getting on with it.’ Pulling his hands free, he crossed to her and leaned down to place a kiss on her cheek. ‘Believe me.’
Please.
CHAPTER SIX
‘HOW DID THE move go?’ Brenna asked Hunter as they sat with the rest of the crew members in the rescue centre’s kitchen, eating dinner. She wasn’t avoiding the subject and how he hadn’t wanted her helping. That would be giving it too much importance. It stung, though, because it showed how he felt about anything more than a friendship, and even that had boundaries. Kisses and sex fine, domesticity not.
‘Not bad. I could do with more furniture. I’d thought the house was quite small but there’re a lot of empty spaces.’ Hunter leaned back in his chair, plate in one hand, fork in the other, scooping up noodles and green curry from his Thai takeout.
‘What do you need?’ Andy asked. ‘We’ve got a second house lot stored in our garage from Mel’s mother’s place. You’re welcome to help yourself to anything you fancy.’
‘Thanks for the offer,’ Hunter answered. ‘But I’m looking forward to going shopping and having a crack at matching up furniture with the rooms and eventually the colours.’
‘Study colour charts first.’ Brenna smiled. They were on nights this week and so far the shift had been slow, only one callout for her crew to pick up an elderly gentleman from another cruise ship who’d fallen and broken his hip while trying to prove to a woman he could do a backward flip into the swimming pool. Those cruises weren’t always as safe as people expected.
‘I’ll talk to an interior decorator,’ Hunter agreed, a light smile going on over those lips that had turned her on something shocking on Saturday night.
Pushing away from the table, Brenna took her plate to scrape away the remains of her meal. Her appetite had been subdued since Hunter’s revelations about his father’s depression and how Dylan had been treated. She now understood his determination to make the move here work, but his parents could be extremely persuasive when it came to getting their way. Water dripping on stone came to mind. Hunter had already had at least one call from his mother since starting work three and a half hours ago.
‘Does Dylan like his new home?’ It would be a major problem if he didn’t.
‘He didn’t want to go to Jess and Dave’s tonight. I think he’s worried we won’t go back home in the morning when I finish here. He’s as happy as a piglet in muck there and has used sticks from the neighbour’s trees to mark out where the dog kennel’s going. Shame it’s where I intend putting in a v
egetable garden.’ Hunter smiled, a wistful gleam in his eyes as he watched her.
‘Dog or fresh veg. Quite the dilemma,’ she agreed, while thinking how he should’ve talked about his home life other than glossing over the basics when they had been a couple. Relationships like theirs were meant to be open and honest, otherwise what was the point? Now she knew, she had to go back to keeping some distance between them. Hunter had made it as plain as white flour that there was not a lot of room for her in his life, the occasional occurrences they’d already shared being the exceptions. She’d been warned—don’t get close.
If it isn’t already too late.
The plate slid from her lifeless fingers and hit the tiles, shattering into jagged pieces. ‘Damn.’ It couldn’t be. She wasn’t in the habit of giving her heart away easily, if at all. Or had she never really gained it back from Hunter the first time?
‘Saves washing it,’ Hunter quipped.
Smart-ass. Did nothing rattle him? Bending down, she began picking up the shards and dumping them in the bin. She knew Hunter got wound up quicker than a rope on a pulley when someone he cared about was being hurt. Except he didn’t seem to notice how he hurt her.
‘Think I’ll try for some shut-eye while it’s quiet.’ There were single bedrooms upstairs for the night shift crews. Not that Brenna expected to drop off—it wasn’t yet ten o’clock, but she had to get away from Hunter. She might be feeling relaxed but every time he said or did anything she felt herself winding tight again. Saturday night had been wild, and she wanted more—without the rest. Without knowing how he intended staying here and leaving his parents to cope, without knowing how focused he was on getting it right for Dylan, without knowing he really meant this to be for ever.
Because now she understood how important this all was for Hunter she couldn’t go for half-measures. It was all or nothing, especially with Dylan to consider. And she worried Hunter would never compromise enough to make a life work that included all of them. And if he couldn’t then it had to be nothing. If only Saturday night in bed hadn’t cranked up the hope for more than sex. That wasn’t happening again. Nothing was the word to live by now.