The Nurse's Secret

Stacey laughed for the first time in days. ‘She’ll be fine, promise.’

‘Mummy, I want a story.’

‘What’s the magic word?’

‘Please.’

‘Noah, can you stay with Holly while I get a book?’ Deep breath. ‘Holly, this is Noah, Mummy’s friend.’ Talk about a cliché.

Noah stepped forward. ‘Hello, Holly. I see you banged your head.’

She raised her arm in front of him and knocked on the cast. ‘It’s broken.’

‘That’s not your head, silly billy.’ Stacey tickled her under the chin. A giggle erupted from her girl, and Stacey relaxed some more. ‘That’s a very normal sound.’

Holly rubbed her forehead. ‘Hurts, Mummy.’

‘That’s because you banged it. You’ve got to be careful.’ She turned to Noah. ‘Thanks for the offer of a lift but you don’t have a car seat suitable for Holly.’

He pulled out his phone and brought up a picture of a car seat. ‘There’s this one or...’ he flicked the screen ‘...this one. Both seem suitable but you need to make sure for me.’

She took the phone and studied the top-of-the-range seats. ‘Either one will be ideal.’

‘Good. I’ll order it now and pick it up shortly. I’d like to meet your parents again now that this is out in the open.’

‘No problem. They want to talk to you, too.’ She didn’t like his controlled tone. Now he’d had more time to think about everything, had he come up with things not to his satisfaction?

‘Do they? Good.’ He sounded as though he expected them to give him a set of rules to follow, and that he already had his own ground rules to put in place.

‘They want to clear the air and start over as they mean to go on.’ She’d never seen him in this mood before and should’ve expected it. He’d had hours to go through everything, would’ve been churning things over and over. Now she needed to brace herself for the battle, for more questions fuelled by his doubts.

‘Tell me about your previous relationship.’

Hadn’t she already done that? Stay calm. They were in a ward with staff, patients and parents. This was not going to be the entertainment. Reaching the bed, she sat beside Holly and opened a book.

‘Har-ree.’ Holly pointed at the picture of the hairy monster.

‘Sure is, sweetheart.’ She began reading, ignoring Noah pacing over the small space between her and the window. Once the story was finished she handed over the book to Holly to run her fingers over the pictures. It would take a few minutes, giving her time to deal with Noah’s question.

‘Angus and I grew up two houses apart. We were playmates, then teenage friends, then we fell in love and finally got engaged. Then he met someone else.’

‘How did you feel about that?’

‘I was gutted. I loved him. I believed we were meant for each other.’

‘And now?’

Her chest rose and fell. ‘I’m over him. In a way he was right when he said we’d been friends too long before we became lovers and there was something missing from our relationship. It took me a while to see that.’ It had taken Noah, and even then she wasn’t trusting herself to believe she’d fallen for a man she’d only known for a few hours. ‘Why’s this important?’

His guard didn’t slip. ‘I know very little about you.’

About the mother of his child. She got it. He wasn’t interested in her as a woman, and she’d best keep that in the forefront of her mind. Pain knocked her. So much for thinking they might have a future together. It wasn’t happening. She had to be realistic. Rubbing her chest, she snapped, ‘I could say the same about you, but I trust you to be considerate to me and Holly throughout what lies ahead,’ and was pleased to see him jerk his head back.

‘I’ve landed you with a child and no lead-in time.’ At least she wasn’t expecting marriage and a full-time relationship. Her heart ached for what could’ve been if only he felt the same. But she obviously hadn’t done any more than turn him on for as long as it took to make love. Often. Watching Noah, the same tingling was going on in her palms, a familiar heat unfurling deep down, a longing she’d only known for him.

‘So it would seem,’ he said.

‘You’re still having doubts about Holly’s paternity?’ she demanded. ‘We can have a DNA test done.’ Her heart throbbed painfully at the thought of not still being believed over something so crucial.

Again Noah jerked his head and stared at her, his teeth digging into his bottom lip. After a long, leaden moment he shook his head. ‘That won’t be necessary, but thank you for understanding and offering.’

She didn’t feel any relief. If anything, she was more uncomfortable. He was right about one thing. They didn’t know each other, were mostly going on gut instinct. Which sometimes was safer than knowledge. Less overthinking.

‘No, story.’ Holly was holding out the book Stacey had just read, this time towards Noah. ‘No?’

‘Noah, his name’s Noah.’ Or Daddy. Stacey gulped as she glanced at him. And was struck by the awe shining from him at his daughter. She could relax on Holly’s behalf. This was going to work out for her, one way or another. But for her, she’d be waiting in the wings for any snippet of acknowledgement. No kisses, or passionate lovemaking. He wasn’t interested in her.

Except there’d be a child’s car seat ready by the end of the day so he could give them a lift. He had a way about him that brooked no argument when he was adamant about getting something. Another thing to watch out for when it came to discussing parenting with

him.

* * *

At ten past five he appeared on the paediatric ward. ‘Ready to go home?’ he asked. ‘I’ve got everything sorted.’

‘She’s been given the all clear as long as I stay at home with her tomorrow. I’d already arranged to take the day off. We’ll see where we go after that. Dad’s already put his hand up if I have to come in. There is a shortage of nurses due to the flu.’

‘It’s the same in Theatre,’ Noah acknowledged. Then he turned to her and gave one of his heart-wrenching smiles. ‘How’re you feeling?’

Surprised. ‘Happier now we’re leaving here.’ Deep breath.

Tell him what you think.

‘Thanks for this. I’m glad you haven’t walked away.’

Now who looked surprised? ‘Anastasia...’ Noah hesitated. Started again. ‘I meant it when I said I won’t do that. As you can imagine, I was awake most of the night, going over what you’ve told me, and I completely accept it’s the truth.’

‘Just like that?’

‘Not quite. After my previous relationship I’m a little short on trust, but every argument I put up during the night crumbled away when I went through the little I know about you.’

Did that mean what it sounded like?

‘I don’t know where you and I are headed. I do know that from the moment we bumped into each other last Monday I’ve wanted to spend more time with you.’

Hope flared. She deliberately squashed it. ‘Isn’t it a bit soon to be telling me this? Shouldn’t you wait until you’ve totally accepted your daughter into your life?’