* * *
Mac strode along beside Kelli, his hands firmly jammed in his pockets. The morning was turning into one of the best he’d had in a long time. The best. Which was why he had to hold back and not grab Kelli’s hand in his and swing their arms between them while feeling her heat zing through his palm and into his veins.
Tipping into the well of excitement and happiness was all too easy to go along with, and would have consequences he wasn’t prepared to face. It wasn’t as though the pain of losing Cherie would suddenly disappear in a flash of lust. No, the pain was a familiar jacket he’d worn day and night since Cherie left him. Strange how comfortable that jacket was. Safety. Safety from the fear of trying again, moving forward. He’d had the love of his life. No one got two shots at that.
Billy has.
Mac stumbled. Where was he going with this? His eyes sought out Kelli, drank her in. His heart curled in on itself, tightened that comfort jacket around him. Kelli needed someone to love her with no restraint, and he couldn’t guarantee that.
‘Hey, Billy, Leanne, didn’t expect to see you two out of your rooms before midday.’ Kelli rushed to her brother to wrap him in a hug before giving Leanne one.
Had his thoughts conjured up Billy? The man looked relaxed and utterly happy. So it was possible to start again. Mac gave Leanne a light hug and Billy a back slap. ‘Great wedding, guys.’
Billy, the man who’d faced tragedy and moved on to find new happiness, grinned. ‘We thought so.’
Did he ever worry about losing Leanne? About history repeating itself? He had to. He was human. ‘I was glad to be a part of the proceedings.’
‘The family will be gearing up for another wedding now ours is done and dusted.’ Billy smiled. ‘Any idea when you might tie the knot, sis?’
Kelli’s face paled. ‘Um...no, not yet. There’s plenty of time, no need to rush.’
Mac moved closer to her, said, ‘We’ll make some decisions later.’
‘Watching you two together, I’d have said next week would be a good time.’ Leanne fanned her face with her hand. ‘I mean, you two are hot together.’
Draping an arm over Kelli’s shoulders, Mac struggled to come up with something to deflect these two who only meant the best for Kelli. ‘We’ll keep you posted. Now we need to get to the art shop, and I presume you’ve got lots you want to do before heading to the airport for your flight to Australia.’
‘Have a great honeymoon, you two.’ Kelli put her arm around his waist and began to walk away. ‘Spare me all the details when you get back.’ Laughter followed them down the road. ‘Phew,’ she muttered.
‘It’s getting harder, isn’t it?’
Her shoulders rose and fell under his arm. ‘It sure is.’
One day to get through and then Kelli would release him from their engagement, mission accomplished. ‘Jason’s been great about the whole thing.’
Kelli slipped out from under his arm. ‘He’s been brilliant.’
‘I wonder if he’d felt obligated to your parents for everything they’ve done for him?’
Kelli’s eyes all but popped out of her head. ‘He’d go so far as to marry me because of that?’
‘You work it out. You know him and your family better than I do.’ The more Mac thought about it, the more he felt he’d hit the button bang on. ‘It’s not too late to set the record straight.’
The nibbling stopped. ‘Because when everyone learns you and I are not engaged the pressure’s going back on? Got you. I’ll talk to Jason later.’
‘Good. Now let’s enjoy what’s left of our time together.’ He pointed to a shop. ‘Is that where we’re headed?’
With a nod Kelli changed direction, aiming for the wide store with big windows letting in lots of sunlight. Inside paintings dotted the walls, placed artfully so as not to encroach on the next and spoil the viewer’s enjoyment of what was on the canvas.
Kelli wandered around the room, stopping to gaze at two paintings in particular. ‘If only I had a big house to put works of art like these in.’ She sighed wistfully as she studied a watercolour of Rangitoto Island with a storm brewing around the peak. ‘That is particularly beautiful. Brings back memories of a day when Dad took me and Phil across to walk to the top. We got soaked, but I didn’t care. It was wonderful being on the island with only a couple of other people also walking the track to the summit.’
‘You wouldn’t want it where you live now?’ Mac asked.
‘It would have to go in my bedroom and that’s small and dark. No, that painting needs light and space to itself.’ She moved on.
What if he bought it for her? As a gift for a wonderful weekend? No. Not wise. She might misinterpret the gesture, think he wanted more from her, or think he was trying to buy his way into her bed again. Moving along, he studied the next two paintings, liked them but wasn’t overly moved. But the next one brought him up short. An abstract that spoke to him of tension and danger and risks and a softening in one corner that said maybe good things could happen if he was prepared to open up to them.
Mac stared and stared, taking in the brush strokes almost one by one. Dazzling red shades, subtle greens, angry blues, and a hint of summer blue. The more he looked, the more he found. He didn’t do art, wasn’t into paintings and pictures at all.
Kelli nudged him. ‘Buy it.’
‘No.’ Apart from a calendar and a photo of Mum with him and Cherie his apartment walls were bare. Sterile. Safe. Undemanding.
‘Dare you.’ The challenge was loud and clear.
He wasn’t having a bar of it. Not this one. He shook his head abruptly. ‘You finished in here?’
‘Sure.’ She followed quietly, but he could feel her eyes boring into the back of his skull.
Out on the footpath he looked around, saw a pottery shop and headed that way. ‘Let’s look in there.’
‘Okay,’ was all she said, but her disappointment was obvious. She expected more of him. An explanation for starters.
‘You’re not keen on pottery?’ he asked.
‘Not my thing. Whereas paintings are. Especially when it grabs me and won’t let me walk away. Then I know it’s special. Like that one did for you.’ She changed direction, heading for the beach.
Why did Kelli think one painting mattered? It wasn’t as though he’d shouted with glee or said he had to have it. No, he’d studied it in depth, that was all. Then he’d walked away, leaving it behind where it couldn’t bug him every time he saw it.
‘Where do you live?’ Kelli asked out of left field. Or maybe it wasn’t given he’d been looking at a painting and decided not to buy it.
‘In a Ponsonby apartment.’ It was modern, comfortable and boring. That painting would liven the place up no end.
‘Yours? Or do you rent?’
‘It’s mine.’
‘Any flatmates?’
‘No.’
‘Pets?’ she persisted.
What was this? Fifty questions? Might be lucky if she stopped at fifty. ‘I occasionally toss
the neighbour’s spaniel a bone. Does that count?’
Kelli was shaking her head over something he didn’t get. ‘Sounds lonely. I bet your walls are bare and the furniture is minimal.’
‘It’s perfect.’
‘Speaks of lack of involvement.’
He’d done that deliberately. ‘Okay, I’ll play ball with pooch next time I see him.’
‘Stop being a prat, Mac.’ Anger glittered out of those serious eyes, directed solely at him. ‘Why did you come here with me if you don’t want to mix with people?’
Go for the solar plexus, why don’t you?
‘I told you. You needed help and I offered.’
Her hands were on her hips, her feet slightly splayed. ‘So you said, but I don’t buy it. You’ve fitted right in. You are a people person, Mac. Don’t say you don’t like most of them back.’
‘I used to be a people person.’ But Kelli had a valid point. ‘You’re right. I’ve enjoyed myself immensely these past couple of days. I’ve remembered what it’s like to be involved with friends, and to have someone special at my side.’ Ouch. Shouldn’t have said that. ‘That special person is you, Kelli. I have no idea where we’re going with what started out as a solution to your problem, but I do like you a lot.’ Like? Pathetic. But as far as he was prepared to go for now. The most he’d admit even to himself.
‘Thank you, I think.’ She wasn’t smiling at him, or bursting with happiness.
Did Kelli expect more of him? Slam. What if she didn’t like him half as much as he did her? He’d set himself up for a crash. He’d better toughen up and get over himself. This was what getting involved meant. Suddenly he thought he might want more with Kelli, that he mightn’t be happy to rock off into the sunset come Monday. Was this love? He did not know. It didn’t feel like last time. Could be it was taking the long way round to his heart. If it wasn’t then it could be the beginning of a strong friendship. Mac shuddered. Being friends with Kelli was imperative, but nowhere near enough.