And if she could fix what was wrong between her and Tom, then so much the better. Then she’d be able to get on with deciding what was the next phase in her life.
Chapter Two
IT FELT weird to be sitting beside Tom as he drove them to the hospital. Strangely, Fiona felt as though the intervening years apart hadn’t happened. Yet she didn’t know what to say, how to make ordinary conversation.
During the short trip past alpine chalets lining the village streets Fiona felt her muscles tighten more with every minute she sat beside a now silent Tom. She wondered what he was thinking about. His rigid back and tense shoulders were a bit of a clue that he felt strange in this situation too. Gone were any remnants of that earlier smile.
Perhaps small talk would lighten the atmosphere. ‘Tom—’
‘Fiona—’
‘You first.’
‘After you,’ Tom muttered as he turned into a wide, treelined driveway and braked.
Her mouth fell open at her first glimpse of Tom’s hospital. Surprise rocketed through her, all thought of what she’d been about to say forgotten.
‘Welcome to the Specialist Children’s Hospital.’
‘Wow. It’s impressive. And gorgeous.’ An enormous brick dwelling dominated extensive well-groomed lawns. It was three storeys high and shaped like a square C, and ivy covered the majority of the old, darkened brick exterior.
‘Isn’t it?’ His tone softened, as did his taut muscles. Pride made his eyes sparkle.
‘I expected something new and utilitarian, but this looks like those mansions you see in English country magazines. How did you find it?’ When she’d left they’d been living in Auckland, hundreds of kilometres away in the North Island.
‘It belonged to the parents of a colleague. They’d lived here most of their married life, brought their family up here, but when it was time to move into a retirement village they were reluctant to sell. The idea of a place for children to come and heal excited them to the point that they negotiated a very good price with me.’
‘It still must have cost a fortune.’
‘It did.’
It did. That was all he had to say. She recognised a stop sign when she saw one. True, it wasn’t any of her business, but her interest was well and truly piqued. Tom had created something special here—something that she hadn’t even known he’d wanted to do. Had she been so self-absorbed that she hadn’t heard him talk about his dreams? He’d become a brilliant paediatrician, and she’d supposed that was enough for him.
‘You’ve created something tangible, something that says This is what I do, who I am. It’s wonderful.’ Using these bricks and mortar he’d formed the basis of his future, whereas she’d led a nomadic life, moving from post to post as required. Her work had been no less important, but poles apart from his. Which said a lot about them as a couple. Had they always been destined to go in opposite directions? Odd when they both had the same goal at heart—to help people, and more particularly children.
The look he sent her suggested she’d let her tongue get carried away. But he did answer. ‘I like stability.’
And she’d wrecked that for him. But he’d obviously recovered enough to regain it. Tom would always live here, while she didn’t have a clue where she’d be ten weeks from now. He’d know what would be happening for the foreseeable future while all she knew was that she’d be performing plastic surgery. That could happen anywhere in the world.
Her eyes were drawn back to the hospital. In the cold, grey dusk the building was imposing. Where had the money come from? While at med school Tom had taken any job wherever possible to pay his way, and his parents had struggled to help him as much as they could. Even after he’d qualified and paid off his student loans—which he hadn’t let her help him with—he wouldn’t have amassed the sort of money required to buy this place. Even at a discounted price.
She said, ‘I could’ve helped financially if I’d known.’ If he’d told her.
‘No, Fiona, you couldn’t have. It worked better for me this way.’
Of course Tom hadn’t wanted her help. This was his project, and her money would have taken something else away from him. She’d already made one big mistake in their lives; he wouldn’t trust her not to make another.
‘I think I understand.’
‘Do you?’
She nodded. ‘After the years I’ve just spent living a life based entirely on my own abilities and not what my father’s wealth could buy me, I do understood what it means to achieve something on your own merits.’
His eyebrows rose. ‘You’re being harsh on yourself. No one else could make you into the surgeon you’ve become. You did that yourself.’
‘Thanks, but something like this is different. This is huge.’ A warm glow settled over her. Tom had given her a small compliment. She’d treasure it.
He didn’t know that she’d learned to give so much more of herself to other people than she’d ever done before. In the process she’d found that she got back truckloads more than she could ever have believed possible, often in the most unexpected and quite beautiful ways. Like the little Pakistani girl’s parents, who’d given her the family chickens as repayment for reconstructing the child’s badly burned face. She’d cried when they’d brought in the birds, their livelihood, and she’d had to dig deep to find an acceptable reason that wouldn’t offend the parents when she’d asked them to keep the fowls. She smiled at the memory, and again focused on the building.
‘How long have you owned the property?’
‘Nearly five years.’ Tom explained, ‘Andy set up a trust and raised an unbelievably huge amount of money. Not just to buy the building, but to help keep the place running.’ He shook his head. ‘I’m still not sure how he managed it, but it was above board and that’s all that bothered me.’
‘Andy? As in Andrew?’ The entrepreneur of Tom’s family, Andrew had got on well with her father. Sometimes she’d wondered if her father thought she’d married the wrong brother.
‘He’s done extremely well for himself over the years.’
‘It seems you have too.’ Despite everything that had happened to Tom, it seemed he’d managed to get his life back on track. ‘I’m really glad for you.’
‘Thanks.’
‘Just because our marriage didn’t work out doesn’t mean I don’t want happiness for you. Or at least a life that fulfils you.’
‘It’s full, that’s for sure.’ Tom gazed around at the immaculate lawns with oak trees lining the perimeter.
But not fulfilled? She wondered about that. She hoped he was happy, while at the same time the thought made her feel even more unsettled about her own future. Get over yourself. Don’t start the ‘what ifs’.
‘When did the hospital become operational?’ she asked. It was a bit awkward getting a conversation flowing, but she’d persevere.
‘My first patient walked through the front door a little over three years ago.’
‘It must have been exciting.’ She wished she’d been here to see it, to share that moment with Tom. Another thing lost because of her stupidity.
‘Incredibly so.’ His fingers drummed the steering wheel. ‘Well worth all the hard work. There were months when I didn’t believe I’d ever see the day this became a fully functioning hospital and not just a dream.’
‘You weren’t working?’
‘Full-time in the paediatric unit at Christchurch Hospital, which is about an hour and a half from here. Close enough to be harassed by builders and tradesmen, but too far to make the travelling back and forth easy.’
‘That sounds exhausting.’ But he’d have managed. This was a man who always focused completely on work, often to the detriment of everything else. Setting up a new facility would have just been another job to see through to the end.
‘Very.’
‘I read an article in a medical journal about the work you’re doing with children and their families coping with chronic diseases. Spending a week here with other
similarly afflicted children must have huge benefits for the kids involved. Also for their parents. Getting together with other parents to share experiences must be a tremendous help. You’re earning a superb reputation amongst your peers.’
‘We’re booked up solid for the next six months.’
‘That’s a lot of children you’re helping.’ Tenderness for him slid softly through her. Helping children was what made him tick. And, if he was anything like her since Liam’s death, saving people would have become the prime focus of his life. But he didn’t know about the long, hard years she’d spent working with people in dreadful situations. ‘I think what you’re doing is absolutely wonderful. I’m looking forward to you showing me around.’
Tom stared at her for a long moment. What did he see? The woman she’d become? The pain in the backside she’d used to be? More importantly, would he give her a chance to explain herself? Show him how different she was these days? It suddenly became important that he got to know her again. Then he might begin to see her for the selfless woman she’d become, and not the lost and helpless creature who’d left him. Or the extravagant, spoilt girl he’d first met.
‘You’ll get the tour. Everyone does.’ He looked away, slid the vehicle into gear and drove forward. ‘Did you receive the case notes my secretary prepared for tomorrow’s operating schedule?’
Back to business. She swallowed her disappointment. ‘Yes, they came through late yesterday. I’ve read them thoroughly, and I’ll be taking another look through each one later tonight after I’ve seen my patients. I’ve read enough to answer any worries they or their parents may have. I’d also like to see where I’ll be working before tomorrow, if that’s possible.’