Loud giggles were coming from the games room as he neared the door. Peering in, he felt his breath catch in his throat. Sprawled on the carpet, with four little children crawling all over and around her, lay his wife. She was telling a story about a lion, interspersing the tale with loud, slightly odd roars that sent the kids off into fresh bouts of giggles.
As he watched, Tom’s heart clenched with a fierce longing. A longing for what he didn’t have. Children. His own family. A future beyond the walls of this hospital. He’d made this place his whole life, and now that life felt empty. There was more for him out there, and he wanted a slice of whatever was going.
He gasped. Where the hell had that come from? This place kept him fully occupied. There were no spare hours for anything else. Anyone else.
But something’s missing.
His eyes followed Fi as she played with the youngsters, a full and genuine smile on her lovely face. His heart rolled over. He hadn’t seen that particular smile for a very long time and it made him feel soft and warm inside. Did he want that slice of life to be with her?
Liz, a nurse, spoke quietly beside him. ‘The children adore Fiona. She’s a natural with them.’
‘Kids have always been attracted to Fiona for her larger-than-life personality.’ Which had quietened down somewhat.
‘She certainly empathises with them.’
‘You’re right. Each of these children has been admitted today for plastic surgery tomorrow, yet here they are having pure fun, with no sign of fear or nerves about their operations. Fiona’s treating each child with so much care, being gentle with them, so they’re building up trust with her.’
He continued to watch Fiona. Absorbed in the story and the game, she seemed unaware of her appearance, and oblivious to the mess her hair was getting into as one little girl grabbed handfuls to use as a mane. Another difference caught his eye. She’d changed her shirt, probably in preparation for their meal in town. Now that shirt was wrinkled and crushed.
Should he make a sound, let Fiona know he was here? The moment she sensed his presence the spell would be broken and his heartbeat could return to normal.
It took some effort getting used to this new image of the woman he’d been married to. Where had the glamorous little black dresses gone? It astonished him that she hadn’t packed one for the week. One? A case full. His lips curved into a smile. Fi. It had been so long. He’d missed her.
The wonder on her face as she lifted a little girl above her head transported him back down the years to when Liam had been only weeks old. He’d often seen a similar, but more intense look on Fi’s face as she’d cradled their son in her arms. He blinked, but the picture didn’t go away. He could see her breastfeeding Liam, awestruck at caring for her child in the most basic of ways. She was born to be a mother.
Why had it happened to them? Why had their son gone? He gulped, swallowed a lump, surreptitiously wiped his eyes. He’d never get an answer to that question.
‘Tom, come and join us. I need some help with these lion cubs.’ Fiona caught and held his gaze above the children.
He shook his head, trying desperately to get his emotions under control.
‘Tom.’ Her voice was low and insistent even as she tickled another child. ‘We need a father lion.’ Her hand reached out towards him.
‘No. You carry on. You’re doing a great job.’
‘Come on. We’ll do this together.’
And he understood she wasn’t only referring to the game. She’d read his pain so easily.
Tom grimaced as he approached the laughing group. He’d been caught in a bad moment. But he tried to pick up on the infectious good humour of the children. ‘I don’t do a good roar.’ Like he’d ever tried.
‘Give it a go.’ Fiona touched his shoulder.
His first attempt got stuck behind the lump in his throat. But one look from Fiona and he was down on his hands and knees, trying again. Astonishingly, he managed some semblance of a roar this time. So now he was a male lion, teaching his cubs to hunt. The things this woman could get him to do.
‘The louder the roar the better, according to these cubs.’ Fiona grinned, sending his heart to do that funny clenching thing it had been doing on and off for hours.
‘Great. What will my staff think of me rolling around on the floor like a complete dork?’ He smiled back.
‘That you’re not as toffee-nosed as they thought.’ Her wink took the sting out her words.
‘My nose is not made of toffee,’ he told a little girl who was looking at him all perplexed. ‘Dr Fiona doesn’t always talk a lot of sense.’
‘She’s funny,’ said one of Fiona’s young admirers.
And clever, and exciting, and warm, and very loving.
The lion roared.
Chapter Six
‘IT’s good to meet you, Fiona,’ Craig said as he set his menu aside. ‘Tom has mentioned you occasionally when we’ve tried to delve into his dark and secret past.’
‘Yes, I did feature in it for a while.’ Fiona’s smile looked tentative as she glanced at Tom. ‘Secret, huh?’
‘Craig’s exaggerating. He likes to embellish stories.’ Tom sighed. Of course his friends would want to ask questions. They knew he’d once been married, and had lost a son. When he’d learned that Fiona had offered to fill in the week for Jerome they’d been the first people he’d told.
From the moment he and Fiona had entered the restaurant and seen Craig and Kerry being seated he’d known they’d be expected to join them. He’d sensed Fiona’s disappointment at having their talk postponed, but he’d felt nothing but relief.
‘Call me nosey.’ Craig grinned. ‘I like knowing all about my friends, and Tom isn’t very forthcoming at times.’
Tom saw Fiona glance at him knowingly. ‘That’s probably because when we were together I did enough talking for both of us. He couldn’t get a word in.’
Fiona was defending him? What was more, it was about his inability to spill the beans about things that mattered most to him. Was his brain playing tricks? He checked his wine glass but it was still full. His hand moved of its own volition to briefly touch her elbow.
Kerry asked her, ‘Where’d you meet? Across a bed in a ward somewhere?’
‘Almost. Tom was in his final year of specialist training and I was on intern rotation through the paediatric ward. I had my hands full with a frightened three-year-old, kicking and screaming her lungs out. Tom rescued me.’
‘Sounds like when Craig and I met—except he’s a vet and I took my spaniel to him after she’d been struck by a car. I was freaking out and totally panicked about my dog, and the vet just calmed me down with a few words.’ Kerry grinned. ‘Then he started telling jokes and making me smile, all the time treating Polly with such tenderness I knew straight away I had to get to know this man.’
Fiona smiled at Tom. ‘No jokes on the job with Tom. He te
nded to be quite serious, but great with junior doctors. Plus every female in the hospital wanted to get to know him.’
Kerry laughed. ‘They still do.’
‘That’s enough. What’s everyone having for dinner?’ Tom felt mildly uncomfortable. He’d expected criticism from Fiona, not compliments.
‘The fish and salad for me,’ Fiona answered.
‘What? Not the creamy pasta with chicken?’ She’d used to eat pasta at every opportunity.
‘Too rich for me these days.’ She looked almost sad.
Tom grinned. ‘No wonder you’ve slimmed down so much.’ He’d always loved her soft curves; thinner though she was now, she was still beautiful, but faint hollows in her cheeks made her look a little tired, vulnerable.
‘That’s not when I lost the weight…’ Fiona’s voice trailed away as she nodded at someone behind him.
Tom looked up to see the waitress hovering at his elbow. As she took their orders he wondered what Fiona had been about to say. Had she been ill at some time since she’d left him? Did that explain the physical changes in her? A trickle of fear set his skin on edge. Fi ill? Please, no. Not that. He knew she couldn’t abide people discussing their health unless it was in a patient-to-doctor situation. She always said she had enough medical talk at work not to want to hear her friends discussing their ailments socially. The same applied to herself. Not that he’d ever known her to be ill. She’d always said she didn’t have time for bad health.
‘Your work with Global Health sounds so exotic compared to Hanmer Springs,’ Kerry said
‘You think so?’ Fiona looked surprised. ‘From the little I’ve seen, this place is paradise. Except for the temperatures.’
‘At least you’ve stopped shivering,’ Tom noted. ‘You’ll feel the cold when we go back outside if you don’t take your jacket off in here.’
‘I’ll borrow yours and put it over the top of mine.’ She caught his eye, and suddenly they both smiled, then spoke at the same time.