‘Jess.’ He nudged her foot with his toe. ‘Time to wake up, lazybones.’
‘Go away,’ she mumbled, and made to roll over.
‘Mummy, you’ve got to get up now.’ Nicholas bounced onto the bed and dropped to his knees so close to Jess that Jackson feared she’d be bruised.
Her eyes popped open. ‘Hello, you two.’ Her voice was thick with sleep. Rubbing her hands down her cheeks, she yawned and then stretched her feet to the end of the bed and her hands high above her, lifting her breasts as she did.
His breath caught as he ogled those sweet mounds pushing against her singlet top. The glass shook in his hand, spilling wine over his fingers. ‘I’ll see you outside. Do you want this wine in here?’
‘No, I’ll join you in a minute.’ Already she was scrambling onto her knees and delving into her bag to haul out a jersey.
Nicholas had arranged the outdoor chairs so that they could see down the grass to the beach. Jackson sank down on one and picked up his beer. His hand still shook. He knew how it felt to hold Jess in his arms and make love to her, the little sounds she made in pleasure, the way she liked to wind her legs around his afterwards. He wanted to know all those things again and again.
Making love to Jess was nothing like the sex he’d had with those women he usually dated. But he hadn’t really dated Jess. They’d just got together. At work, at his parents’ place, and mostly at her home, where they enjoyed each other whenever Nicholas wasn’t around or was tucked up in bed, sound asleep.
‘Where’s the TV?’ Nicholas asked as he crossed over to Jackson.
Laughter rang out, sweet and clear, from the tent. ‘There’s no TV out here, sweetheart. When you go camping you don’t have power for things like that.’
As the boy’s face began to pucker up Jackson reined in his smile and said, ‘Think about telling your friends how you spent the night in a tent and that you ate food cooked outside, and how you dug for shellfish. Isn’t that more exciting?’
‘Can I catch a fish tomorrow?’
‘We’ll give it a darned good try, sport.’
Jess slid onto the chair beside him, her light jersey covering those tantalising breasts. ‘You have a knack with him.’ She sipped from her glass. ‘Perfect.’
‘Should’ve got champagne, knowing how much you enjoy it.’
‘You’d better stop spoiling me. I might get used to it.’ She stared out across the water, seeing who knew what. The glass shook in her fingers, as it had moments ago in his.
Laying a hand on her thigh, he squeezed gently. ‘Jess, I can’t—’
She turned, placed a finger on his lips. ‘Don’t say anything, Jackson. I know this has to come to an end, have known it all along, but I don’t want to spoil our time together talking about things we can’t change.’
He could not argue with that, so he didn’t.
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘SO MELANIE’S GETTING a little sister or brother. That’s cool.’ And I’m fighting something very like jealousy here. Jess watched Sasha’s face light up with excitement, felt her own heart thump harder. A baby—with Jackson—would be perfect. She breathed in deep, exhaled slowly. Get real.
‘Yeah, isn’t it? I can’t wait. So unlike last time, when I was dealing with the defection of Melanie’s father and coming to terms with returning here, this time I’ve got Grady right beside me.’ Sasha grinned and wrapped her arms around Jess in a big hug. ‘Know a good midwife?’
‘I might.’ She squeezed back. ‘A summer baby.’
‘Not like Melanie. She kept me warm through last winter.’ Sasha stepped away and opened the fridge, where she found the salmon Jackson had placed there earlier. ‘Did Jackson go out to Anatoki for this?’
Anatoki was a salmon farm where customers could fish for their dinner in large holding ponds. ‘He took Nicholas and let him catch the salmon. In fact, Jackson let him catch and release two before bringing this one home. I don’t think my boy will ever stop talking about that. I’m surprised he hasn’t told you every minute detail. I couldn’t get his fishing shirt off him so he does reek a little.’
Sasha shook her head. ‘I haven’t spoken to him yet. He’s following Jackson everywhere, glued to his hip.’
‘There’s a certain amount of hero worship going on, for sure.’ Which would soon turn into a big problem. The weeks were speeding by and when Jackson headed away she’d be left to pick up the pieces. As well as deal with her own broken heart.
Sasha looked up from stuffing the salmon with herbs. ‘You’re worried?’
‘Big time. Maybe I should’ve stopped seeing Jackson right after your wedding and kept him out of Nicholas’s life.’ Like she’d have been able to manage that easily. She’d fallen for him so fast she’d been spinning.
‘Maybe you should tell Jackson how you feel about him.’ Sasha cocked her head to one side. ‘Hmm?’
‘No way. We’ve been up front right from the start. No commitment, no demands on each other. Have a good time and sign off come April.’ Why did that sound so flippant? Because it was. Casual maybe, but not normal. ‘But I haven’t, and won’t, tell him I’ve fallen for him. It would ruin everything.’
Her friend’s lips pressed tight for a moment and Jess knew she was about to get a lecture. ‘Leave it, Sasha. I’m not asking Jackson to stay on when he obviously doesn’t want to. Don’t forget I’m not interested in tying myself to anyone either. It wouldn’t be fair on Nicholas.’
‘That’s getting a little monotonous, Jess. You’ve got a big heart, big enough for more than your son. You’ve spread it around the community and he hasn’t suffered.’ Hadn’t she already heard that from Jackson? Unfortunately, Sasha wasn’t finished. ‘There are still a few weeks for you to talk to him, lay your feelings on the line.’
Jess shivered. She couldn’t do that. Too scary. ‘Do we want to make the salads now?’
Sasha wasn’t about to be sidetracked. ‘Think about it. What have you got to lose? A broken heart? That’s coming anyway, regardless. But you might find my brother has changed his mind about his mighty Hong Kong hospital and lifestyle. He was moody when he first arrived home, got angry at the smallest things, but that’s not happening so much now. Mum says he sometimes sings in the shower. That’s unheard of. You’ve got a role in all this. He’s keen on you, really keen.’
Jackson hadn’t told his family about the stabbing. He didn’t want them worrying about him when he returned to Hong Kong. Opening the fridge again, Jess removed the vegetable bin containing everything needed to put together a crisp, healthy salad. Jackson might be keen on her, as Sasha put it, but he didn’t want her trailing after him all the way to Asia. That also would mean putting her needs before Nicholas’s. How could she explain to her boy that living in an enormous city was as good as being in Golden Bay with beaches and fishing?
Loud laughter rolled through the open windows. Jackson and Grady were playing soccer with Nicholas on the front lawn. Her son wore a huge grin as he charged after the ball and stole it from under Jackson’s foot. He dribbled it towards the makeshift goal until he fell over the ball and landed on his face. Jess held her breath, waiting for an explosion of tears, but Nicholas bounced back up and took off after the ball that Grady had stolen while he was down. Her boy was lapping up the male attention. ‘Grady will still have some time for Nicholas, won’t he?’
‘You know he will, though it won’t be the same as having Jackson’s undivided attention.’ Sasha handed her a glass of champagne. ‘You’ll have to drink my share now that I’m pregnant. Let’s join Mum and Dad on the deck. The salmon will take a while.’
Jess continued to keep one eye on Jackson, filing away memories of how athletic he looked, how his long legs ate up the ground as he chased the ball, how his laughter sneaked under her ribs and tickled her heart. She collected even more mental images du
ring dinnertime.
But. Nothing was going to be the same ever again. Grady might be there for Nicholas when he had time, but he had his own children to put first. She’d do anything to make her son’s life perfect—except tell Jackson she loved him.
But as Sasha had pointed out, what did she have to lose? Honesty was good, wasn’t it? What if Jackson had already guessed her feelings for him? Was he waiting for her to say something? Or crossing his fingers she’d keep silent?
‘You’re very quiet tonight.’ Jackson leaned close.
Unnerved that he might read her mind, she shivered. ‘Sorry.’