Song of the Fireflies

“But you’ll let me use my savings to bail your ass out,” Tate retorted.

Caleb stared right through Tate from the side.

“Hey, Tate’s right,” I spoke up from the backseat. “I may not know what this is all about, but I have a pretty good idea. Caleb, you’re likely to just create tension.”

“Nobody asked you,” Caleb snapped, turning his head to look back at me. “Why don’t you deal with your own damn problems? Remember? You got cops looking for your ass. Deal with the dead-girl issue and stay out of mine.”

I hated to admit it, but Caleb had a point.

Bray and I spent the rest of last night talking about what other options we had. Of course, there were none, so the conversation was very short. Then mostly we just stared up at the ceiling, wrapped in each other’s arms. I never wanted to let her go. I felt the same from her. Eventually, our minds drifted from the matter at hand and we started reminiscing again. We talked about our childhood and about all of the things we missed and enjoyed and loved. But time passed all too quickly, and the present snuck up on us again. We thought about what else we could do, but still came up short. Stared at the ceiling some more. Fell asleep. And that was that.

But Bray was different. She hadn’t been herself since we saw the newscast back in Panama City. Since I found her on the bathroom floor. I got the feeling that she wasn’t really worried anymore about finding other solutions. She seemed more laid-back than concerned or on edge. It scared the hell out of me, and I didn’t know why.

We stopped at a gas station to fill up.

“I’ve got to pee,” Bray said and hopped out of the Jeep.

Tate tossed me a folded-up twenty-dollar bill. “Mind getting me a bottle of water and a Reese’s? Oh, and see if they have a hot bar. Grab me a hot dog or somethin’.”

“Sure thing,” I said. I took Bray’s hand and walked with her through the lot and into the store.

Inside, I pointed over Bray’s head toward the far back corner. “Restrooms are over there.” She weaved her way through a few people in the aisles toward it. I found everything Tate asked for and stood in line. Bray was out before it was my turn, so she stood next to me until finally I checked out.

Bray had wanted to check the newspapers sitting in the metal display near the register. Thankfully, she didn’t find anything about us inside.

We got back on the road.

“I’m going to pay you back, bro,” Caleb told Tate.

They had been arguing about money and all of the times that Tate had used his to bail Caleb out of something since he got out of prison. They went from money to their parents to their sister and then back to money again. Bray and I kept to ourselves in the backseat, and eventually I didn’t hear much anymore. I held Bray close to me on the seat, my arm wrapped around her from the side.

“I know you called your parents,” I said softly with my cheek resting against the top of her hair.

“I had a feeling,” she said.

“You know, maybe if you sat down with them and just tried to talk,” I began. “Tell them what I know about what’s been going on with you. Make them understand.”

“They don’t want to understand.”

“What makes you think that?” I squeezed her arm gently in my hand.

“Elias, they gave up on me the day I turned eighteen. Well, technically, they gave up on me before that, but until I turned eighteen they at least had to pretend they were doing everything they could for me. I could see it in their faces. Well, when they’d look at me anyway. But mostly, I was just a ghost…” She titled her head back so she could see me. “Other than just wanting to be around you, why do you think I spent so much time with you?”

I pressed my lips to her forehead, and she laid her head back down.

Memories of when we were teenagers moved slowly through my mind. I swallowed and took a deep breath and squeezed her arm again when a particular memory came into view:

“I only got one C,” Bray said, coming up to me at school in the hallway, her eyes lit with excitement. She shoved her report card into my hand. “Math, of course. But it’s better than the D I had last nine weeks.”

“That’s awesome,” I said. “I can help you study. Told you I’d help.”

She snatched the report card away from me and smirked. “I can do it myself,” she said and kissed me on the cheek. “Besides, if my parents found out you helped me, they’ll think I can’t do it on my own.” She wore a bright yellow T-shirt with an anime character with pink hair imprinted on the front, hip-hugger jeans, and a pair of black flip-flops. Her long, dark hair was pulled behind her into a ponytail.

“Are you still coming over tonight?” she asked me.

I dialed in the last number of my locker combination, pulled the door open, and shoved my books inside.

“Definitely,” I said, smiling. “I’m bringing the marshmallows.”

“And the beer,” Bray whispered and pressed her hip against mine.

My eyes grew wide as I looked around and over the top of her head to see if anyone was listening.

“Not so loud,” I said in a harsh, low voice. “Besides, I said I’d try to get a few beers. My mom hasn’t touched the ones my Aunt Janice left over at our house last month, but it makes me nervous that she might notice them missing.” I retrieved my book for my next class and shut my locker door.

“I know, I know,” Bray whispered. “But just get two then. Make Mitchell and Lissa find their own. Mitchell’s dad always has beer.”

“I dunno, Bray, if my mom finds out, she’ll kill me.”

She laid her head on my shoulder. “Just try. If you can’t, then it’s OK. We always have marshmallows.” Then she grinned with a crafty glint in her eye. “But if we play Spin the Bottle, you might have to kiss Lissa, and I’m sure you don’t want to be sober for that.”

I inwardly cringed. “Spin the Bottle is lame,” I said. “Who does that anymore?”

“Who cares? It’s still going to be fun.”

I met up with Bray after school, and we walked home together down the dirt road toward Mr. Parson’s land, like we did every day. Bray was excited about her good grades. Last year she had gotten mostly Cs and Ds, and she was depressed for a long time about how disappointed her parents were. Bray was a smart girl, intelligent even, but when it came to school she couldn’t focus. She got bored easily, and it was hard for her to get along with most of her teachers, so she got into trouble a lot.