I nodded and looked down into my beer. He was saying all the right things, and for Nick, that was big enough as it was. But it was still raw, and I was still pissed.
“I appreciate you saying that,” I said. “You just have to know that this is still really difficult for me and for Becca. You guys hurt her so badly. It’s not even about me, you know? You punched me in the face, and I don’t even care about it. I don’t. What I care about is how Becca looked at you when she saw you do it. She shouldn’t look at you that way. She shouldn’t be worried our kid is going to grow up without one side of their family.”
“I agree,” Nick said, his voice full of sorrow. I believed him. He was hurting just as much as I was. “I can’t stand the idea that I might have thrown away the chance to be the uncle that I should be. To be the brother I should be. To be the best friend I should be. This should be the best of both worlds, right? My best friend is going to become my brother. I should be elated. But I risked all of it because I couldn’t get past the need to protect her.”
“That’s the thing,” I said. “She still needs you to protect her. Just not from me.”
Nick nodded, and we went silent for a few moments as the food arrived. I took a few bites of my gyro and momentarily forgot the reason for the conversation. I was just at a table with my best friend, eating delicious food. Then the pall cast itself back over me, and I put down the sandwich and looked him in the eye. I was about to speak when he interrupted me.
“I want to be friends again,” he said. “I know I probably don’t deserve it, but it’s what I want. If there is a way to get back to that, I want to know what it is. I want to have a relationship with my sister, too, but I know I need to have a conversation like this with her first. She is her own person. You can’t accept my apology for her.”
“Now you’re starting to get it,” I said.
“I’m sorry. Truly, Tyler, I am sorry. Will you forgive me?”
“Yes,” I said, without thinking. “I will. But it might take some time for things to get back to where they were. Becca is really hurt. She didn’t want me to come. But I needed to see if this is where you were going to go before I took the next step.”
“The next step?” he asked. “You’re going to make an honest woman of her?” I cut my eyes at him and let my head hang to one side, and he put his palms up in defense. “I know, I know.”
I reached into my pocket, pulling out the box I wasn’t sure I was going to show him or not. The best-case scenario for our conversation included me doing it, and though I wasn’t sure this was that situation, I decided to show him anyway. I opened the top and showed him the ring.
“Good Lord,” he said. “She’s going to freak.”
“I hope so,” I said. “It might be a little soon, though. We didn’t plan on moving this fast. We were just enjoying taking it day by day, but that’s not really an option now. But I knew I wanted this part of it a week into dating her.”
“That’s awesome,” Nick said, and the tone of his voice said it was true. Nick was a shit liar.
“I think I’m going to wait until she’s six months along. That way it’s between the excitement of finding out, the excitement of the belly showing up, and then the excitement of delivery. There won’t be a dull moment for her if I time it right,” I said.
“I’m glad to hear it,” Nick said. “And deep down, somewhere I was refusing to acknowledge because I was so upset, I always knew you would treat her right. Even if you weren’t meant to last, and clearly you are, but even if you weren’t, somewhere deep down I knew you wouldn’t hurt her.”
“Yet you hit me,” I said and then grinned. Nick looked hurt, but then when he saw me grin, he grinned back.
“Yes, then I hit you. I owe you one,” he said. “Next time I act like a dick, just sock me one.”
“Don’t tempt me,” I said with a laugh. “You just might catch that receipt.”
38
Becca
“You’re sure you’re going to be okay?” Tyler asked as he parked the car in my parents’ driveway.
“I’ll have you,” I said. “And if Nick came around, then Dad came around. They said as much on the voicemail when they invited us over. They want to ‘make amends.’”