“I just think that we may have jumped into this situation without truly thinking about whether we should.” I couldn’t look Alvarez in his face and see his heart break. “I’m not saying we shouldn’t date or whatever. I just believe I have a whole lot of stuff I need to deal with. And frankly, you do, too.”
“I don’t like this conversation.” He came in closer, until barely a foot remained between us. “I don’t like what you’re saying or how you’re saying it. If you believe you’re unsafe and need to leave this property, then that’s fine. I’ll help you remain protected. If you need help with Michael, then I’ll be there for you, but putting a pause to what we’ve begun isn’t going to happen. You’re the one good thing that’s happened to me this week. Fuck it. These past years. I won’t put a pause on this.”
“But—”
He stopped my counterargument with a kiss. “There’s no buts about this. I want to give you my extra heart. Take it. Don’t overanalyze my life. Don’t try to make things easier for me. I need you more than I need them. In the end, if it’s you or them, I’ll take you and leave them as well as all of this other stuff behind me.”
“Stop that. Don’t talk about them like that. I know how much you love them.”
“It’s true.” He captured me by my waist and pulled me against him. “I love them. Until meeting you, they were all I had. And I know it sounds wrong that after only a few days of knowing you, I would leave them all behind, but it’s the truth. The past few days have taught me something. It showed me that I’ve been letting life pass me by. Every day it’s something new with my family. No matter how many fires I put out, another comes to take its place. You can leave, if you want to. I understand. I need to know you’re safe as well, but you can’t leave what we have. You can’t.”
I buried my face in his shoulders. “I need time to think about this.”
“Why? What time do you need? I didn’t propose. I didn’t ask for a commitment.”
“But you are asking for something more than I can give you right now.”
He stiffened against me. “I just don’t want you to think we need space or time away from this.”
“What is this between us?”
“Everything,” he whispered.
“Alvarez, I can’t give you everything right now. Michael broke me. He made me second-guess who I am and in that process I forgot myself. I left her behind. My coming here was about learning about me and finding out who I am.”
“That’s not what you said last night,” Alvarez said through clenched teeth. “You told me no limits.”
An exasperated sigh escaped my lips. “Well, in the light of everything around us from the new murders to Michael searching for me, I think we need some limits.”
He released me. “If this was a movie, would it be one of those stupid unrequited romances where the couple decides to not be together on the basis of simple things that could be changed?”
“No. It’s the type of romance where the heroine is broken and the hero is chained to other things. It’s not unrequited love. It’s just not possible. In a few days or weeks or even months it will be possible. Right now, I need space and time to reflect on me while you need to save your life and family.”
He formed his hands into fists. “Is that your final say on that?”
I directed my attention to my bag. “Yes. I would like to leave here this evening and we can stay in contact through email, but I would rather you not come and visit me for a few days or so. Take care of this and let me deal with Michael.”
Several uncomfortable minutes passed.
“Then fine.” He turned away from me and left the room. “Goodbye, Elle.”
Chapter 24
Alvarez
I dove into my work and swam through piles of duties and did my best to keep my mind off Elle. I had a meeting with Detective White about the murders. Something had to be done. Things had gotten out of hand. Too many died and still only unexplained peculiarities existed. As grandma suggested, I looked at the video.
The screen flashed off and on a few times before clearing to reveal three dead bodies sliding through the hallway toward my office by themselves. The tape switched to the camera in my office where the dead girls glided into the room, rose in the air, and then hung from the ceiling.
“What do you think this is?” I asked Detective White, who stood next to the open window and lit his third cigarette.
Please don’t tell me you think it’s an evil spirit, too.