Not My Romeo (The Game Changers 1)

I shift on my feet and move to the chaise near the window. My legs are rubbery as I sit down. “I . . . I didn’t want you to think bad about me.”

She bites her lip, and I wince. I’ve only seen my mama cry three times. The day Daddy died; then his funeral, when she wept so hard none of us were able to console her; and when Nana passed. She’s a rock, a solid piece of granite.

Moving closer, I grab tissues and push them at her. “Mama, please . . . I’m sorry I enjoy sewing these. I’m a disappointment to you.”

“Stop that,” she says, her face crumpling. “Please. Don’t say that. You’ve never been a disappointment.”

“I didn’t go to medical school. I didn’t get married and have babies right away. I barely come to church—”

“You would have been a terrible doctor. You hate blood, and your heart is too tender. Although it would do you good to listen to a sermon every now and then.” Her shoulders cave in, tears rolling down her face, and it breaks me, to see this strong woman weep. “It kills me to think that you were keeping this from me when it was important enough for you to . . .” Her voice trails off, and she sniffs.

“Mama, don’t cry, because if you cry, then I’m going to cry, and my makeup is already done, and it looks good, and Clara will have to do it all over again.”

“Well, it’s too late for that, because you’re already crying.”

“I know!” I sit down on the floor at her knees, emotions riding me hard, from Jack and now this. “Don’t be mad at me for wanting to be different, please.”

Her eyes find mine, shiny and wet. “Elena, how could you ever think I’d be mad? I’m surprised. Shocked at these . . . provocative . . . things.” She shakes her head. “I just never dreamed you wanted anything more than the library.”

“But it’s never going to satisfy me. I want to make things that make me feel pretty, that are different from anything else.”

“Oh, Elena . . . how could you think I’d judge you for doing what you love? Since the moment my mama taught you to sew, you took to it like a fish to water. How could you not tell me? Am I that terrible of a person? Do you think so little of me? Haven’t I always supported you, even when I didn’t agree? I let you run off to New York for college; I tried to keep my mouth shut when you stayed—I tried so hard when you went on that trip to Europe by yourself!”

It’s the anguish in her voice that sends me over, and I wrap my arms around her waist. “No, never . . . Mama . . . this town means everything to you. Your church. Your friends. I didn’t want you to worry about me embarrassing you.”

Another tear skates down her face. “Well, I don’t know why not. I love you, Elena. You are my precious baby girl, and I want to support you, even if . . . even if I don’t always approve of you; you’re mine, part of this family, and I thought you knew.” She sucks in a breath. “A mother’s love is unconditional, Elena. And I know I’m just a small-town woman who doesn’t know much about the world, but you’re different, and I know that; I accept it. You’re not me. Maybe you won’t ever get married and give me grandkids. That’s okay. I just want you to be happy, Elena. I don’t want to be the person who’s the last to know.” Her voice breaks, and I wrap my arms around her. She rests her head on mine. “I’m hard sometimes, I know, but in the end, I just want you to be happy. If making these things is a dream for you, I don’t care what people think. I just want you to have everything. I want you to be the person you want to be.” A long breath comes from her. “Don’t you see that?”

She grimaces and wipes at my cheek. “You’re the little girl who always did exactly what she wanted anyway. You have so many gifts, Elena, so much talent and creativity and drive. I’m so proud of you and the person you are. And I never want you to do or be someone you aren’t. I want you to love yourself first and take your own path, even if it isn’t mine but one next to me where you go further than I ever dreamed, where you’re happy. My love for you is strong, baby girl. It holds no laws; it is limitless. I want you to be you.” Her voice strengthens. “And I will trample down anyone who dares to mutter one spiteful thing about you in this town.”