Then I heard the clap of heels on the road behind me.
“You’ve got to be kidding me…” I turned around to see Tabitha walking quickly to catch up to me. “Fuck…” I quickened my steps so I could get to the car and take off before she could reach me.
“Derek, wait.”
I spun back around and stared her down. “Jesus fucking Christ, what do you want from me?” I threw my arms up because I didn’t know how to shake these two idiots. I couldn’t punch her in the face like Kevin, so I didn’t know how to get rid of her. “Ryan and Camille told you to leave me the fuck alone. You can’t just respect their wishes for one night? For their wedding?”
“The wedding is back there. It’s just you and me.” She slowed down and stopped in front of me, looking into my face with a wide range of emotions.
“What the fuck do you want from me? If I write you a check for a hundred thousand dollars right now, will you fucking disappear?”
Her eyes fell in offense. “I don’t want money from you—”
“Then what?” I gripped my skull because my head was about to explode. I was sick of this circus act, of the two of them coming at me with no sign of deterrence. “You said what you wanted to say last night. So, what new information could you possibly bestow on me right now?”
She was quiet.
“Exactly.” I turned around and kept walking.
She grabbed me by the arm. “Derek.”
I quickly spun around and pulled my arm free. “Don’t fucking touch me. Because I’m a man, I don’t get the same respect that you get as a woman? You’re fucking harassing me, following me to my car, bothering me when I want absolutely nothing to do with you. How the fuck is this fair? You want me to call the police?”
“Look…” She raised her hand to silence me. “I just… Please listen to me.”
I slid my hands into my pockets. “I don’t seem to have a choice in the matter, so…”
She was quiet for a while, like she was thinking of exactly what she wanted to say. “We were all such a close group of friends, and we lost that the night…that everything happened. I understand that you would never give me a chance again romantically. I don’t blame you for that—”
“Never fucking ever.” I didn’t even find her attractive. I was disgusted by the idea that I’d ever fucked her and actually enjoyed it.
“But I would hope you could give me another chance as a friend… Kevin too.”
“You’re fucking crazy—”
“We were all such good friends, and we both still miss you all the time. It doesn’t feel right not having you there. You’ve ostracized yourself, with the exception of Camille and Ryan, but that’s not right. And you…seem unhappy.”
“Right now? Yeah, I wonder why.”
“In general. From what we see on TV and in the news. You aren’t the buoyant and upbeat person you used to be. And Kevin and I think it’s because of us.”
“Well, it was pretty traumatizing, Tabitha. To lose your fiancée and your best friend on the same night, to be humiliated like that in front of literally every person you know. I’m not the happy boy I used to be because I got a reality check that night. People are evil. You and Kevin are evil. I trusted you implicitly, and you stabbed me in the back.”
“I know…and I’m so sorry for that.”
“I don’t want your apology,” I said quietly. “I’m over it.”
Her eyes shifted back and forth as she looked into my eyes. “It doesn’t seem like it…”
“You don’t know me, Tabitha.”
“No, I don’t know this version of you. But I know the boy I grew up with. You’re not the person you used to be.”
I was getting really irritated with that psychological evaluation. “What do you want? I’m tired, and I want to go home.”
“I want you to forgive us. And I want to be friends again. We’ve never forgotten you, and you’ve clearly never forgotten us—”
“I’ve got enough friends, alright—”
“The guys you go out and party with?” she asked. “That’s not the same, and you know it. We just want you back, Derek. I know it’s a lot to ask for you to forgive us—”
“Why would I forgive you? I have no interest in forgiving you—”
“Let. It. Go.”
“Fuck you.” I turned around and continued to walk off.
“Derek.” She walked after me. “Please…we want us to be friends again.”
I turned back around. “You want us to go fishing at the cabin and make s’mores over the campfire? You want us to go to the museums then get ice cream afterward? You want us to be kids again? That’s the past. We’re living in the present now. We aren’t kids anymore.”
“But we still take a summer trip to a beach house every year. We still do stuff together on the weekends. We still celebrate birthdays and have game nights. We’re still friends…and it’s never been right without you. I’m not asking you to forget. I’m not asking you to trust us. I’m not asking for us to be exactly what we used to be. I’m just asking for you to try. Because we love you, Derek.” Her eyes watered. “We miss you. We don’t want a lifetime to pass and then we get old and die and have to live with this weight on our hearts. Please…”