I stayed there because I had to talk to Derek.
He eventually finished whatever he was doing and walked over, and even though I stood right there at the table, he hardly looked at me. “Yes?”
“Don’t fucking yes me.” I was sick of his attitude, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I just snapped. “You don’t want to treat me like a human being on a personal level, fine. But I’m your assistant, and I deserve to have some kind of professional courtesy. So, knock this shit off and be a good person. Surely, you can do that.”
He stilled at my outburst, blinking as he stared at me, as if he hadn’t anticipated my scathing remarks. “Alright.”
“So, let’s try this again.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
He stared at me blankly again before he found a better response. “How can I help you, Emerson?”
“Much better. Geez, was that so damn hard?” I was so disappointed in this man, not just as a lover, but as a person. “Did you still want to move forward with the internship program? I’ve got all the documents ready, but I assume you’ve had a change of heart about that…since you tend to have a change of heart about a lot of things.” I couldn’t resist the jab. I couldn’t contain my anger. I’d begun to loathe this man.
He took a long pause as he considered the request. “No. Let’s do it.”
“Alright.” I turned away.
“Has Lizzie gone back to school?”
I turned back around and regarded him coldly. I couldn’t believe he’d mentioned my daughter as he hadn’t done that once since he’d dumped me—in a fucking stairwell.
When I didn’t answer, he spoke again. “I can still tutor her.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I committed to it. The internship is designed to train future generations. She falls into that category.”
Would he have mentioned her if I didn’t bring up the internship program?
“But I can only do it once a week now. We’ll do Thursdays.”
I wanted to tell him to fuck off and eat shit, but I knew Lizzie was slipping in her classes, and getting another tutor wasn’t so easy, not when he was the best. I hated that I needed him for the income, but I was working to fix that. I hated that I needed him to tutor my daughter too. But I would do anything for her, do anything to ensure she had a bright future, and working directly with Derek Hamilton was the best education she was ever going to have, so I would put aside my rage for her. “Alright.”
Lizzie and I ate together at the dinner table. January was almost over and February in place. I made pot roast because it was easy. I just threw everything into the slow cooker before work and then let it cook all day.
She was still sensitive to my feelings because she could feel how sad I was. She continued to help around the house and spend time with me.
“Derek wants to tutor you again.”
She dropped her fork into her bowl and looked up at me. “Huh?”
“I talked to him today. He’s doing an internship program at the company and wants to keep helping you, but he said only on Thursdays.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“No.”
She made a disgusted face. “Fuck that.”
“Lizzie!” I couldn’t believe she let those words fly out of her mouth. The occasional cuss word slipped out, but it was never so egregious.
“I don’t even care, Mom. I don’t want his help. He can take his help and shove it up his—”
“Lizzie. Just because you’re angry doesn’t mean you can talk like that. Express yourself differently.”
“Sure. But not with him. I don’t want him to tutor me.”
“Your grades are falling—”
“Then let them fall. Look, I’ll find another tutor. There’s gotta be somebody else out there who can teach eighth-grade math besides that asshole.”
I gave up on berating her.
“No. He’s the last person on this planet I would ever accept help from.” She shook her head then dug her fork out of her bowl before cleaning it off with her napkin. Then she started to eat again, still wearing a disgruntled look.
I wanted my daughter to get the best education, but in that moment, it meant a lot more that she was so loyal to me, that she couldn’t care less about Derek Hamilton.
I presented all the internship paperwork to Derek for him to sign off on.
He read through each page then placed it in the approval pile.
Nothing went into the rejection deck.
“It’s good.” He went back to his work. “What time will you drop off Lizzie?” With his head down and his eyes on his device, he didn’t give me the courtesy of eye contact.
“I’m not dropping her off.” I couldn’t keep the pride out of my voice, the way Lizzie cared more about my feelings than her education. “We’ll find her another tutor. You’re off the hook.”