The Boy Who Has No Redemption (Soulless 8)

She started to cry too, holding Dad against her chest, rubbing his back as she listened to him cry.

Tears drenched my cheeks as I watched them together, watched two people love each other unconditionally, wear their hearts on their sleeves, and rejoice in tears. My hand moved to Dad’s back, so he knew I was there. Dex came next, getting on his knees beside Dad.

The doctor silently excused himself from the room.

Mom wrapped her arm around my shoulders and pulled me close.

Dad got Dex and pulled him into the group hug.

The three of us were on our knees as we held on to Mom, every one of us crying, every one of us emotional with hope.

I wanted to give the good news in person rather than over the phone.

And I also just wanted to see her…because I needed her.

Good news made me just as emotional as bad news; it made me need support just as much. I wanted to be with the woman I loved, the woman who could bring me to my knees the way my mother brought my father to his. I knew I fucked up, I knew I didn’t deserve her, but she was my everything.

I couldn’t change the way I felt about her.

I knocked on her door and waited.

A moment later, it opened. Emerson stood there in tight yoga pants with a loose t-shirt that hung off one shoulder. Her hair was up and her makeup was gone, like she and Lizzie were winding down at the end of their night.

She’d never looked more beautiful to me.

I missed those quiet nights where we watched a movie then went to bed. It was uneventful and predictable, but it was comfortable. In her bedroom, we had to be quiet so Lizzie wouldn’t hear us, but that didn’t diminish the passion or desire.

She wasn’t hostile toward me anymore because of the circumstances, but she didn’t ooze passionate love like she had before. She kept one hand on the door as she stared at me, not inviting me inside. “Everything okay?”

I nodded. “We had a doctor’s appointment today.”

She stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind her. Her arms crossed over her chest, and she looked afraid that I’d come to bring bad news.

“She still has to stay on chemo and keep fighting, but the tumor has shrunk by eighty percent…” The emotion caught in my throat, so I had to clear it. My eyes moistened, but they seemed to be moist all the time lately.

She inhaled a deep breath that almost sounded like a gasp before she launched her body into mine, her arms circling my neck, her affection aimed to comfort herself as much as to comfort me.

My arms surrounded her, and I held her close to me, my chin resting on her head because she was barefoot. My arms were so comfortable around her petite size, my hands cupped her sides along her ribs, my nose inhaling her perfume that I could still smell in my penthouse at the most random times.

I closed my eyes and held her, appreciating the moment deeply, squeezing every drop out of it that I could. I wanted it to last forever. I wanted this to be my life every single day. Why did I let it go in the first place? Why did I allow myself to lose the best woman I’d ever been with? “I love you.” It felt good to say it, even if she didn’t say it back. Just for her to know how I felt was a relief, a weight off my chest. “I love you so much.” I never wanted her to be in that chair the way my mother had been today. I never wanted to be on my knees in front of her, sobbing like that. But I wanted to have what they had, and that was exactly what we had. I would give up my life for hers in a heartbeat. I would be distraught and incapacitated at just the thought of losing her.

She slowly stepped out from my grasp, her eyes slightly wet. “I’m really happy to hear that.”

I was disappointed she didn’t say it back, but I was grateful I had the opportunity to say it, because I didn’t say it enough before. “We are too. My dad…is doing a lot better already. When we got home, he immediately went to the couch and passed out. He just knocked out.”

“Because he’s been carrying that stress for so long. It makes sense.”

“Yeah.” Now that my mom had a strong likelihood of beating this thing, I could probably get a full night of sleep tonight too. But Emerson still haunted me, that regret. “Dex is staying with me until tomorrow.”

“That’s nice.”

“And my sister is staying with my parents until the semester is over.”