The Boy Who Has No Redemption (Soulless 8)

I met her look, seeing the blue eyes that used to look deep into mine when we were tangled together in the sheets. They used to be so transparent, so deep and kind, but now they held resentment and a dash of grief. But she was still the most beautiful woman in the world, the only woman I craved, the only sex I wanted to have.

“What did you say to Lizzie?”

I gave her a blank stare because that question wasn’t clear enough.

“I asked you a question, Derek.”

“I’ve said a lot of things to her.”

“Don’t use my daughter as a ploy, alright?”

Now my eyes narrowed in offense at the assumption. “Excuse me?”

“You think you can trick my daughter into getting me to take you back—”

“She said that to you?” I never asked Lizzie to say anything like that to her mother. My relationship with Lizzie was pure and innocent. I talked to her because she was my friend. I helped her with her schoolwork because I wanted her to succeed. There was no trick up my sleeve. But it meant a lot to me that Lizzie was sticking her neck out for me…when I never asked.

She stilled at the question, quickly realizing that Lizzie expressed her own opinions and I had nothing to do with them. She dropped the subject immediately and segued into something else. “I told Astra Books about your mother, but they’re anxious for an update, Derek. I suggest you start writing, and start writing fast.”

“I can’t.”

“Well, you’re under contract to do so, and even though money means nothing to you, your words mean everything to your readers. Your mother is doing better, so you need to focus on your commitments—and not abandon them.”

I shook my head because her choice of words was harsh. “I haven’t abandoned anything. It’s just hard for me to write when I’m in this place. Perhaps you could help me—”

“No.”

I stared her down and saw the struggle in her eyes, the way she resisted me with fury but also softened unwillingly. She was nothing but aggressive when I first approached her, but that hard armor around her heart was weakening. It was getting harder and harder for her to stay angry at me…when she still loved me. “It would mean a lot if you would at least help me get going.”

She dropped her gaze and battled with the decision.

I stared at her high cheekbones, her perfect lips, the eyelashes that extended over her cheeks. I’d give anything to slide my fingers into her hair, tilt her head back, and kiss her the way I used to, to feel that connection that satiated my brain, my heart, and my soul. My attraction wasn’t even physical. It was so much deeper than that because it was far beneath the skin. If I didn’t make this work, I’d eventually have to go back to my old lifestyle, and that was a curse. That was a lifetime punishment that I couldn’t bear.

She lifted her chin and looked at me. “Alright. Just to get you going…” She turned around and left the warehouse. I watched her go, seeing the guys in my periphery taking the food from the table and talking about baseball.

I knew there was hope. She’d had the opportunity to leave me, but she stayed.

She stayed.

My phone rang on the surface of the table, and I looked down to see Lizzie’s name on the screen.

Instinctively, I dropped everything I was doing and took the call. “Hey, Liz. Everything okay?” I heard voices of schoolchildren in the background, like she was at lunch and in the cafeteria.

“Yeah, I just had a question about one of the problems I’m doing. I’m at lunch right now.” She sounded normal, like we were friends again, like she trusted me, even when I didn’t deserve it.

It was so nice to have her back, to have at least one of my girls back. “Lay it on me.”

She sent me a picture of the problem and her work, and I walked her through it, ignoring my lunch and all the other shit I had to do. She was more important—more important than anything, really.

“Thanks, Derek,” she said. “What are you doing?”

“Just at work. Your mother just dropped off lunch.”

“Oh, is she gone?”

“Yeah. She left a few minutes ago. By the way, she accused me of telling you to talk to her about me.” It meant a lot to me that Lizzie cared enough to say anything at all. She could just use me for good grades, but she obviously wanted more.

“Well, she’s exaggerating. I just asked her if she was going to keep dating.”

“And?” God, say no.

“She said no. I asked if that included you, and she told me to let it go. I told her to forgive and forget, to use her own words that she preaches, that you two love each other, so you should be together.”