She nodded, her expression wistful and serious. “I thought about it too. In juvie that was all any of us did, dream about the future. About the alternate ending we could have had if things had been different.” She let out a long sigh and shook her head. “We all thought about the impossible lives and loves we would never have.” A bitter laugh escaped. “It was all bullshit, of course, but we didn’t know that, and it helped pass the time.”
I understood it, even if did disagree with the bullshit part. “It did help pass the time, but it also gave me something to look forward to, a reason to be extra careful because it was something to come back to, when I was at home. And safe.”
Her big brown eyes looked up at me, a swirl of emotions. “I’m glad you made it back safe, Xander.”
“Thanks, Mara. I am too. Just wish I’d had my girl waiting for me when I got home.” It hurt like hell when I made it back, all my friends with girlfriends and wives, children there to greet them, and I had nothing. I didn’t have Mara, and that ache had never gone away.
“Well your parents had different plans, and they were more determined than two teenagers who thought they were in love could ever be.”
“We were in love,” I insisted because I believed it down to my bones, and I knew Mara did too, despite her hurt. “But we aren’t teenagers anymore, Mara.”
“No, we’re not. We can all make our own choices now, and learn from past mistakes.” Her gaze was pleading, begging me not to push.
But I had to. “I’ve made my choice Mara, and it’s you.”
She sighed and stood, turning to me with her hands on her hips. “Why won’t you let this go, Xander? We’re not the same people anymore. Every woman in town, single, married or widowed, wants you. Go chase after one of them.”
“How can I? How can I chase after any other woman when the one I want is right here? Close enough to touch. To kiss.” I stood and folded my arms, flexing a little as her gaze darkened with arousal through her frustration. “We’re not all that different, Mara. I’m still goofy as hell, and you are still the prickliest damn woman I have ever met. And I still love that about you.”
She took a step back and fought the smile making her lips tremble. “You’re demented, you know that?”
“All I know is that I want a chance to get to know the woman you’ve become, to get reacquainted with the parts of you that are still the first and only girl I ever love. And I want you know the me I am today. Can you do that?”
Her brown eyes stared at me for so long, and dammit I couldn’t tell what she was thinking which really made me nervous. “Maybe.”
That was good enough. For now. “Good. Now go grab me another beer, woman.”
She glared at me before blanking her expression. “You’re off duty?”
I nodded. “Why?”
“I just wanted to make sure I wouldn’t get in trouble for assaulting an officer when I pour the next beer over your head.” Mara grabbed the empty bottles and made a quick getaway inside, the echo of my laughter chasing after her.
Yeah, this was one hell of a start. Winning Mara back would take some time, but this was a small town without much else to do, I had all the time in the world.
Mara
After spending an extra hour in the kitchen prepping for tomorrow’s Valentine special, which was red velvet everything, I decided to take some time and do another search for Lonnie. Her foster parents still hadn’t reported her missing, and when I called, pretending to be one of her friends, they simply told me she wasn’t there.
They didn’t sound worried or even as if they cared, and I knew from experience they didn’t give a damn. But someone had to, or else Lonnie would become just another forgotten girl, another statistic or worse, another cautionary tale. I couldn’t let that happen to her, not when she had a real shot at making a real life for herself. Lonnie wasn’t just bright, she was incredibly smart and artistic. She could live a bigger life, if only someone just gave a damn.
“Hey, what’s the hurry?” I rounded the corner from the dumpster behind Bread Box and ran right into the broad, hard chest of Xander.
“Sheriff. I’m leaving work. Is that a problem?”
“Of course not,” he smiled and folded his arms across the same wide chest, making the fabric of his sleeves tug tight around his biceps. “I’m just curious where you’re off to in such a hurry. Hot date?”
“Hardly,” I scoffed. “I’m going to see if I can find Lonnie so, I’ll see you around.” I stepped around Xander and stopped when his hand circled my arm.