Curvy Valentine Match

I frowned at her. “Of course, I meant it.” I didn’t want to offend the women who’d done so much to make me feel welcome, but I had to be honest with myself. Always. “Yes Joss, I like my life here just fine. But if that changes one day in the future, it won’t make a difference. Where else can I go where someone will hire me, or let me rent a place?” I shrugged, because I already knew and I didn’t need to sugarcoat the details for my sake. “That’s the truth and I can’t change it, yeah I meant it. But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy here now.”

“Well damn,” Eva said, her tone matter-of-fact, but her grey eyes were filled with pity. Just like Olive’s. And Joss’.

I pointed at each of them. “And that look right there is exactly why I never shared any of this with you guys. It’s my reality and I’ve learned to accept it.”

“Why are you telling us this now?” Leave it to Eva to get to the heart of the matter.

“Because I’m trying to be a better friend, that’s why. This is my life, and like I said, I like it. So I’m trying to show you that by being a better friend.”

Eva rolled her eyes and crossed the kitchen to wrap me in a hug. “You are a good friend, Mara, even without sharing all the details of your life. You give tough love like nobody’s business, but you’re reliable and you care about people, even if you never come right out and say so.”

I did care, but I did it in my own way. A way that allowed me to protect myself, at least that’s what the juvie shrink would likely say.

“And Xander? Where does he fit in with all of this?” Sophie, ever the business woman, had honed in on the one part I hadn’t planned on sharing with them. “He’s part of the past you don’t like talking about, right?”

“Yes,” I admitted. “We were high school sweethearts.”

“Oh. My. God.” Olive’s green eyes were round in shock but it rang hollow.

“He told you,” I said plainly, and all three Time for Love women nodded and looked away with guilty expressions.

“And now?” Eva wanted to know. “What are you to each other?”

“Nothing,” I answered easily. “Just two people who ought to stay away form each other because we don’t work together. Life doesn’t work when we’re together. Not ever.” My heart squeezed painfully at that realization that Xander and I just weren’t compatible. We had enough chemistry to power all of Texas, but at the end of the day, his parents were right. They had done the right thing by keeping us apart, even if they’d gone about it in a pretty screwed up way.

“High school sweethearts, that’s a connection like no other,” Olive insisted with hearts in her eyes. “You can work it out, if you want. And if you stop being so stubborn about the past, instead judge him based on the man he is today.”

I shook my head, determined not to let my friends talk me into something I knew was bad for me. “That’s not going to happen, Olive. I’m sorry, but I did give him a chance and he repeated history, which means he hasn’t changed at all. I just can’t trust him.” I looked at each of the women at my kitchen table, they had been good friends to me, but now that they were in love they wanted that for me too. “I don’t need you guys to worry about me or look out for me, I’m capable of doing that myself.”

“This is what friends do,” Joss insisted with a frown.

“I know that, but I don’t need you feeling sorry for me and trying to match me up so I won’t be lonely when you decide to stay at home with your men. I will be fine.” I shrugged it off, hating that they saw me as some pitiful loner who might die without them looking after me. “We’ll see each other when we can and that’s good enough for me.”

“No dammit,” Joss smacked both hands on the table. “You use words like fine and good enough to describe your life, your job, and your expectations of us, when you should be expecting more. You should want more.”

“But I don’t, Joss. I’m fine with it, more than fine, if you want to know the truth.” I shook my head and did my best to smile at my friends. “I don’t want what you have, but I am happy for you. All of you.”

Thankfully the doorbell saved me from another round of them convincing me to give Xander, or worse, someone else, a chance. I didn’t want to hear it. Helen and Lonnie stood on my doorstep, both wearing wide smiles.