Agony stabbed at me.
He choked out, “What? When? Wait—I lost my phone. I had to get a new one. When did you call me?”
I shook my head as I felt tears sliding down my cheeks. “You got a new phone, but not a new number. My calls would’ve come to your new one. Stop lying to me, Jesse.”
“I’m not.” His voice rose and I heard a twinge of desperation. “I’m not. I swear. It took me almost two months before I finally got one. The guys talked me into it. I didn’t want to, but I figured if you ever called me again, I needed to keep that number.”
A harsh laugh ripped from me. “You got a new phone because of me?”
“Yeah.” He sounded serious. “I see Coach every day. The guys live with me. Who else do I care about? Zala learned how to use the internet, so that’s all she does now. I keep a chatting window up just for her. I don’t give a damn about my dad. If he wants to talk to me, he can come see me. I got the phone for you. You don’t believe me?”
I wanted to believe him. So much. It was killing me. “Are you serious?”
“Yes,” he stressed. “And yes, I called Ethan that night. He was with Benson and Barbie that night. I didn’t think he should be with them. That crew wasn’t good for him. They were into drugs and I didn’t want him taking any of that crap. We fought, Alex—” He stopped abruptly, but I heard his deep breathing. Then he wrung out, “I’ve felt so damn guilty about that night. I told him to stay away from Barbie and he told me to stay away from you.” An ugly laugh came from him. “Look at how that worked out. I seduced you the first night I could.”
“No, you didn’t,” I whispered into the phone. “I wanted you too.”
He grunted. “Well, whatever. It’s done now.”
I bit my lip. I wanted to plead with him. I wanted him to take me back, but I held back. I couldn’t handle the rejection, if he turned his back on me. I couldn’t take that after everyone else had left me.
“Isn’t it?” he asked now.
My breathing became labored.
“Alex?”
A groan escaped me. My eyes clasped shut and I could only hold the phone. I was struggling to keep from begging him.
Then he asked, his tone dipped low, “Are you with Nathans?”
“No,” I wrenched out.
“You’re not?”
“I never was.” I slid down and bent over my knees. I wasn’t on the ground, but I was close. I curled into a ball, right there, in the corner of the hallway of all my future classmates. I didn’t care who saw me. I couldn’t do anything else in that moment. The need for him was paralyzing me. “Jesse.”
He murmured, “You didn’t call on his anniversary.”
“I wanted to,” I rasped out. “I thought you had turned your back on me.”
“No. Never. Where are you?”
“At my dorm.”
“Is Cord with you?”
My throat grew thick so I couldn’t talk. I nodded instead.
“Alex?”
“Yes,” I squeaked out. “Yes.”
“Look, I’m coming back right now.”
My head rose. Where had he been? I wanted to ask him, but my throat still couldn’t work. I grunted instead.
“Give the phone to Cord.”
Wordlessly, I went to my room. Cord was sitting on the bed with that girl on my desk. Her feet had been resting on my chair, but she jumped up as soon as I entered the room. Ignoring her, I handed the phone to him. Cord stood from his bed and left the room. I heard him say, “Yeah?”
As his voice faded, my chest lifted up as I struggled to push the emotion away. This was almost embarrassing. I couldn’t even speak. One simple phone call and I was close to being a blubbering mess.
“So.”
I stiffened.
Chandra gave me another serene smile. I wondered if she used it on all the people she considered her minions. “You seem close to Cord? I thought you only knew him from high school. That’s what Kara said.”
I jerked my head in a nod, going to one of the boxes. Lifting it from the floor, I settled it on the desk. She had to jump out of the way, but I was able to stand with my back to her. As I started to unload the pictures and books, she said further, “I don’t live in the dorms. I only came to see Kara. She’s one of my best friends, her and Tiffany. We’re all juniors this year, with Cord. I was upset. I thought Cord was cheating on me.” She heaved a deep breath. “He’s not, right? I mean, you’re not…cheating with him? Are you?”
I didn’t say a word. I should’ve, but I kept my lips shut. When I heard the bed squeak, I knew she had sat down. Her voice rose higher, shrill now, “Not that Cord and I are dating, but I care about him and you already know that he and I are more than friends. Or, at least, I hope we are. Oh my god. Why am I saying this stuff to a freshman?”
My shoulders stiffened, but I still didn’t say anything. She kept talking and I was surprised, but I went with it. As she laughed at herself, the ball of emotion left my throat. I felt more in control of myself, but I continued to listen to whatever she was going to spill.
“You have to admit, I have reason to be thrown for a loop here. I mean, Cord is on the basketball team. He’s a starter. He’s at the top and here you are, some little girl that waltzes into his house. He drops everything to help you. He doesn’t say a word to me about who you are. He doesn’t explain anything. Cord doesn’t do that. Ever. Not even with me, he doesn’t do that stuff. But you’re someone important to him, obviously. I mean, he’s helping you move in. He wouldn’t even help me move in and he’s done most of the work for you, some freshman. Who the hell are you?”
I whipped around and snapped, fed up, “Ever thought that I’m none of your business? Maybe that’s why he hasn’t ‘explained’ me to you? It’s none of your business.”
She jerked to her feet. Her eyes flashed in anger. “Are you kidding me? Anyone that’s connected to Cord is my business. He’s my boyfriend—”
“Chandra!”
I didn’t register the tone, but I looked up, expecting Cord. I saw another golden beauty instead. This one was even more stunning than Kara. What was it with this school and all the blondes? Kara’s hair had been platinum blonde, but this one was a golden wheat color. Her hair fell down to her waist and she was dressed in similar clothes, with white khaki shorts and a blue polo instead. The material clung to her like a second skin, but it wasn’t tight. It fitted her perfectly. With crystal blue eyes, she could’ve graced the cover of any fashion magazine.
I wasn’t ready for all these girls. Even Chandra was beautiful, though hers was more from her make-up and tanned skin.
All of them looked like sisters.
“Tiff, what are you doing here?” Chandra stumbled over her words.
The girl’s eyes narrowed before they rested on me.
I felt branded. She had scorched me with some meaning behind her gaze. I wasn’t sure what it was, but my skin crawled from it. She didn’t have a good opinion of me. That much I knew, but I had no idea why. She didn’t know a damn thing about me. My head lifted. My shoulders rolled back and I rose to my highest height. For some reason, I didn’t like this girl and she didn’t like me.
She murmured to her friend, but her eyes hadn’t thawed as she stared at me, “I came to check on Kara and see if she needed help with any of the girls. What are you doing here?”
Chandra moved around me to her friend’s side. She gestured to me. “This girl walked in on me and Cord. I was upset and came to cry on Kara’s shoulder.”
The girl, who I knew without a doubt was their leader, frowned. “She walked in on you guys?” She scanned the room. “And she lives here?”
“Yeah.” Chandra seemed miffed about that.