The physical attraction between them was a force in itself. Add to it the foreign mixture of yearning and concern she’d felt for him, this need to be exactly what he needed…
It was exactly how he was looking at her right now.
He sat back on the carpet and pulled her into his lap, lips tracing over her hair, murmuring words she couldn’t afford to discern.
He thinks you’re someone else.
“Tell me you’re okay.”
Lucy nodded vigorously, swallowing the hard knot in her throat. She knew he wanted her to say something, but she couldn’t manage words. It felt like someone was choking her. The concern in his voice, the way his fingers drew soothing circles on her hips and stomach, she didn’t deserve it. Liar. She’d never expected to feel something as powerful as the response he’d drawn from her body. Never expected to feel a connection. How stupid she’d been to assume that anything with this man could be casual. The demons behind his eyes should have been a warning. Her reaction to them should have been a bright, blinking caution sign.
Lucy knew the truth, though. She’d seen the warning signs and gone hurtling past them anyway. It’s that lack of restraint that had landed her in trouble countless times. A little voice whispered in her head now, telling her the consequences of tricking him would be far worse than she’d ever experienced in the past.
Without warning, he lifted her into his arms. “What are you doing?”
He didn’t answer, continuing his long strides toward the bathroom. When they walked inside, he didn’t turn on the fluorescent light, thankfully. She had a feeling her eyes would betray everything. As it was, the soft light filtering in from the bedroom revealed too much. Matt set her on her feet and stood behind her. Their gazes met and what she saw there caused a flood of guilt in her chest. Anxiety tightened his features as he broke their eye contact and began inspecting her body.
He sucked in a breath, running gentle hands over her bottom. “Baby.”
“It doesn’t hurt,” she managed. That was only half a lie, but it still felt bitter on her tongue. Were lies going to come so easy to her now that she’d gotten the ball rolling?
Matt reached around her, his hand closing around a minuscule bottle of complimentary lotion with the motel’s logo printed on the side. It took his unscrewing the cap to discern his intention. “It’s not much, but it will help with the redness.”
Lucy tried to turn and stop him, but when coolness replaced the raw sting on her skin, her mouth snapped shut. Until that moment, she hadn’t realized exactly how sore the spanking had left her. Instead of alarming, she found her condition…thrilling. Watching him in the mirror, seeing him attend to her so diligently, made her feel powerful. Cherished.
What an odd reaction. Yet there it was. The same feeling she’d had against the door, bent over the table, kneeling on the floor. It didn’t make sense, since Matt had been holding the reins, commanding her, dominating her. Somehow, she’d never felt so in control.
Lips tracing across her bare shoulder distracted her. As if on cue, her head tilted to the side, encouraging him. “We should have had a safe word,” he said. “I didn’t know it would get that far. I’m so sorry.”
“Safe word,” she repeated, searching her brain for where she’d heard that term before. Sasha, maybe. Or in a book. “It’s okay. I wouldn’t have used it.”
Matt exhaled in a rush, meeting her eyes again as he continued massaging her bottom in gentle circles. She felt herself go a little light-headed. The image of this absurdly masculine man behind her, treating her with such care, would surely be imprinted on her brain for the rest of her life. Tall as he was, she could feel his abdomen pressed against her back, his strong thighs flush with her naked bottom. The cut muscles in his arms flexed as he applied the lotion, eyes watching her with such intensity in the mirror, seeming to glow.
She thought back to his fervent words, when this whole thing had started. Don’t let me do it… Have I scared the hell out of you yet? Again, the need to soothe him rose like a tide. The way he was looking at her, as if worried he’d broken her…she couldn’t let him continue to think that way. She’d loved everything they’d done. God, she wanted to do it again. As in, now. Would have already suggested it if it were possible. But her lie had damned her. She couldn’t be with him again, her inexcusable deception hanging over her head. Still, she couldn’t leave him with any doubt that he’d given her incredible pleasure.
Lucy turned, gasping when his erection slid across her belly. He’d been holding himself away from her, so she wouldn’t feel it. For some reason, that bothered the hell out of her. She’d just resolved to distance herself from him before she made her dishonest actions even worse, but standing this close to him, seeing that disquiet in his eyes, it flattened her resolve like a pancake. Of its own accord, her fingers traced over the ridges of his abs, watching in fascination as his chest began to rise and fall faster.
“Matt—”
A knock at the door. Matt cursed.
Her eyebrows rose. “That is one persistent pizza delivery guy.”
The corners of his mouth lifted even as he shook his head. “Stay here. I’ll go pay for it.” He went to leave the bathroom, then turned back and dropped a sweet, slow kiss on her mouth. When he pulled away, he backed out of the bathroom as if afraid to lose sight of her. That look caused something awful to coil uncomfortably inside of her. He didn’t know who he was looking at in such a manner. He thought she was someone else entirely. Not the impulsive idiot she was in reality. Dammit to hell, Lucy.
She turned and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Hair a tumbled mess, lips swollen, she barely recognized herself. It was more than her appearance, though. The regret coursing through her veins was palpable in the air around her. After a moment, she overheard snippets of the discussion taking place at the door.
Found the part after all…installed…car’s ready to go…
Relief and disappointment warred so hard in her stomach, it caused her eyes to close. Leaving now and continuing their drive to New York meant she wouldn’t have to face her lie much longer. She could part ways with him, hope he would chalk their encounter up to a hot fling and not pursue seeing her again. The crippling wave of panic that came along with that thought, however, blocked everything else out. She should come clean. Now. Before another minute passed.
And see the tenderness in his eyes turn to disgust?
No. Maybe it made her a coward, but she couldn’t do it. Just a few more hours and she could leave him with a fond memory, instead of the outrage she suspected would come along with finding out she was Brent’s little sister.
Outside the bathroom, she heard the door close. Taking a deep breath for courage, she pasted a smile on her face and walked out into the bedroom to find him, hands on hips, staring thoughtfully at the door. He snapped to attention when he saw her, but looked less than pleased.
“The car is re—”
“I heard,” Lucy interrupted brightly. “That’s great news.”
“Is it?” Matt said under his breath. Swallowing hard, Lucy pretended not to hear him as she pulled on her clothes, doing her best not to wince when the material dragged over her sensitive backside.
When she’d finished dressing and he still hadn’t moved, she had no choice but to face him. There was no way to prevent her eyes from tracking down over his shirtless body. Good Lord, he enlivened ev
ery cell in her body. Knowing she could never allow herself to touch him again caused her physical pain. “What?”
“You seem awfully eager to leave.”
Lucy steeled herself against the urge to drop her purse and throw herself into his arms. Instead, she waggled her eyebrows. “I’ve got big plans for this week. I guess I’m eager to get started.”
Then without a backward glance, she breezed out of the room and headed in the direction of the garage, hating herself a little more every step of the way.
Chapter Five
Matt’s hands clenched on the steering wheel as he exited the Holland Tunnel. Minutes away from dropping Sasha off and he still had no idea where the hell they stood. She’d been feigning sleep for the last fifty miles, head propped against the window, her curls still messy from his goddamn hands. Several times he’d had to tamp down the urge to pull over and drag her across the console onto his lap. Not to fuck her, although that’s undoubtedly where it would lead if he got that close. First, though, he wanted to get an honest reaction out of her. If it meant interrogating her on the side of the highway, he’d been prepared to do just that.
Then the flashbacks had started, causing him to question everything. Had he imagined her enthusiasm when they’d made love back in the motel room? Had her uninhibited response been a projection, something he’d wanted to see, but didn’t really exist? It stood to reason, since she’d been deathly quiet afterward, standing motionless in front of him in the bathroom, pale as a ghost. God, if he’d hurt her…
Matt glanced at her delicate form for what felt like the thousandth time. Shit, he’d been rough as hell with her. She’d seemed to want it, even requested it. Hadn’t she? He’d been so fucking gone for her, bursting at the seams with lust and the need to please her, he wondered now if that had shaded his perception. His needs had been kept locked up so tight for so damn long. Sweated out of him nightly as he went round after round with the punching bag that hung suspended in his apartment. He hadn’t been prepared for her. Hadn’t had time to bring the urges down from a boiling point to the slow simmer he walked around with each day.