The Exposure (The Submissive 9)

“Complicated? Come on. We were two horny people who scratched an itch. What’s complicated about it? Nothing.”

He looked bewildered. “It’s complicated because of the work we did together. It wouldn’t do either of us any good to have the reputation of sleeping with people we work with. Well, it might do you some good. Get you more offers, but they probably wouldn’t be the kind you wanted or be from the people you wanted . . .”

He continued rambling and she tuned him out. Basically, she just smiled and nodded. Thank God she beat him to the this isn’t going to work speech. She was so glad he didn’t call sooner. What if he had and she’d blurted out something stupid? Yes, it was much better this way.

“He was the one who helped me see how bad it would be for us to be together.” Luke was still talking. Truthfully, she had no idea what he was saying or who he was even talking about.

Suddenly, she just wanted him out of her apartment. Enough already. What was done was done and it was time for her to accept it and move on.

“Listen,” she said, cutting off whatever it was he was saying. “I hate to cut this short, but I need to get ready.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “You’re going out?”

“Yes, and”—she looked at her watch—“I’m running a bit late now. So, sorry to cut this short, but . . .”

“Right,” he said. “I’ll just be going.”

He turned to head to the door and, at the last second, looked over his shoulder. For the briefest moment, it looked as if he was going to say something further, but when he spoke all he said was, “Good-bye, Meagan.”

She steeled herself. Five more seconds and he’d be out the door. Then she could break down. Four seconds. “Good-bye, Luke.”

Three.

He opened the door.

Two.

He walked out.

One.

The door closed behind him. She dropped to her knees on the floor and let the tears fall.

Chapter Three

Tired and cranky, she woke up the following morning only to see whoever The Taskmaster was hadn’t replied. Fine, she thought, let him be that way. At least there wouldn’t be a naked picture of her sent out. She tried to work a few hours, but thoughts of her and Luke and the camera wouldn’t allow her to concentrate.

Before they parted ways the night before, Luke had asked if Saturday was too soon to start. She didn’t have any plans for the weekend and, since The Taskmaster had insinuated that there would be more information he wanted from Luke, she thought it for the best she do something to speed the relationship up a bit. That way, it wouldn’t seem so strange to approach Luke whenever her next order came through.

She fucking hated that she was allowing herself to be used the way she was. But she had no choice. Not if she wanted to protect herself and her brother. She felt bad about using Luke as well, but in this war, he was just a necessary casualty. Besides, it wasn’t as if she was hurting him in any way. If she looked at it from a different angle, she was actually doing him a favor. After all, he’d been the one to approach her, not the other way around. That was the way she was going to look at it going forward. She wasn’t doing anything to hurt him. She was helping.

She did wonder briefly about the timing of the first e-mail following so closely with Luke stopping by to see her. Were the two related somehow? She tried to picture Luke as The Taskmaster, but nothing about that fit.

She rolled her shoulders. What she needed was a good hard scene with someone. Unfortunately, she didn’t want to play with any of the Dominants that came to mind. She could always call one of the girls she played with, but what she needed wasn’t to take control from someone, but to give it. Besides, after the dream last night, she was hot and bothered and wanted sex. If she played with one of the girls she Topped, she wouldn’t get her own release. Sure, to take control of someone else’s pleasure was heady, but tonight she wanted someone to take control of her.

When Luke left her years ago, she had no idea what to do with the new understanding and knowledge she had about her sexual nature. Wanting to prove to herself that it was more than just Luke, she’d gone to a local club and, within two hours, found that she enjoyed Topping as well.

What followed was a year of self-discovery and by the time Luke had been out of her life for twelve months, she’d found what she needed. When playing with men, she craved being submissive. But when it came to women, she preferred the other side of the crop. With the girls she played with, though, she always made it very clear she didn’t have sex while Topping. Many of them wanted the release that came from pain and a few just had the need to serve.

She gave them what they needed and took what they would offer her. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement. But today, that wasn’t what she craved. Unfortunately, she knew she wasn’t going to get what she wanted, so she did her best to put Luke, sex, and any combination of the two out of her mind.

Wednesday night, she knew she had to do something. She didn’t think she’d be able to submit to anyone with Luke fresh in her mind, so she slipped on her black leather and went to a nearby club.

It wasn’t as nice as Luke’s, but surely it would do for the night.

“Mistress B,” the bouncer working the door said when he saw her. “Been a while since we’ve seen you. How are you?”

“I’m well, Master C. Hope you are.”

The tall, muscular man nodded and looked her up and down. “I’d be better if you weren’t here as a Top.”

Meagan had played with him once and that had been enough. He was competent enough, but something about playing with him didn’t work for her. Unfortunately, he didn’t feel the same and ever since that one time, he’d been bugging her to do another scene with him. She’d told him she didn’t get the same vibe he got when they were together, but he seemed to think if they just tried again, she’d feel it.

Eventually, she got tired of saying the same thing over and over, and she made up her mind to visit that particular club only as a Top. So far it had worked and Master C no longer asked her to play.

“Some nights being submissive isn’t what I need—know what I mean?” she asked.

He shook his head. “Being submissive is never what I need.”

“Maybe you should try it sometime,” she said. “Most subs I know like it when their Dom has been on the other side.”

He gave her a smug smile. “I think you just want me on my knees before you.”

Which just proved that he didn’t know her at all. “I only Top women, Master C. I’m totally submissive when I play with men.”

Someone else came up behind her and Master C turned his attention to them. Meagan scurried into the club before he finished business and wanted to continue the conversation.

Once inside, she breathed a sigh of relief, but it was short-lived. It took only one look around the club to know this wasn’t going to make her feel better. Seeing the various women she’d played with before look her way with the hope in their eyes that she’d pick them for a scene, left her feeling nothing.

She tried telling herself to give it a few minutes; that it would look odd if she left immediately after showing up. She made her way to the bar and ordered a drink; maybe the alcohol would loosen her up enough to get her in the mood for a scene.

It wasn’t to be, though. She could blame it on the drink that didn’t loosen her up at all. Or she could blame the bartender for not using enough alcohol. But she did neither of those things. Instead, she blamed herself. It was her fault for thinking she needed to be the one in charge when, in fact, it was the opposite. She made herself a promise that the next time she went out to a club, she’d go as a sub.

Before she could finish her drink and discreetly leave, a Dom she was friends with came up to the bar and sat down beside her.

“Mistress B,” he said with a nod, “how are you doing?”

“Hey, Master G. To be honest, I was just thinking about heading home.”

She decided he

must have seen her sitting by herself and thought she wanted company. She most certainly did not, and she really didn’t want the company of someone who just came over because she looked lonely.

He wasn’t a close friend; they only talked when she visited this particular club. He was about her age, though, and she knew Melissa, his collared submissive. Melissa worked part-time at the bed-and-breakfast Meagan went to occasionally. She looked around the room, trying to find her. Master G and Melissa were normally together. Meagan finally saw Melissa on the other side of the room, talking with a group of submissives.

“Leaving so soon?” Master G asked. “You just got here.”

“I know.” She took a deep breath and figured she might as well tell him the truth. “I’ve had a lot on my mind this week, and I thought it’d be a good idea to come here. But I’m not in the proper headspace to Top tonight.”

He nodded in understanding. “That makes sense. Too bad, though. I heard some of the single submissive ladies whispering about how long it’d been since you’ve been here and how they hoped you’d pick them to play with tonight.”

Great, she thought. Now on top of everything else, I’m letting more people down.

“I hate that,” she admitted. “But it truly would be a bad idea for me to Top anyone tonight.”

He didn’t say anything, but studied her in that way Doms did. As if he was slowly peeling back the layers of the mask she showed the world in an attempt to get to her true self. She schooled her features, determined not to give anything away. But he kept studying her, and she dipped her head.