Nadine cleared her throat. “I let him catch me kissing Michael. I made sure he saw that I was having a good time of it.”
Kahlan drew a deep breath as her eyebrows lifted. Nadine may have grown up with Richard, but she certainly didn’t know him.
“He never even got angry at me, or jealous, or anything,” Nadine said. “He was still nice to me, and he still watched out for me, but he never came visiting, and he never asked me to go for walks after that. When I tried to talk to him about it, to explain, he just wasn’t interested.”
Nadine stared off. “He had that look in his eyes, like he did today. That look that means he just doesn’t care. I never knew what it meant until I saw it again, today. I think he really had cared and expected me to show him I cared by being loyal, but I’d betrayed him.”
Nadine dabbed at her lower lids as she took labored breaths. “Shota told me that Richard was going to marry me, and I was so happy that I just didn’t want to believe it when he said it wasn’t so. I didn’t want to believe that look in his eyes, so I pretended to myself that it didn’t mean anything, but it does. It means everything.”
“I’m sorry, Nadine,” Kahlan said softly.
Nadine stood and set the tin cup on the side table. Tears streamed down her cheeks and dripped off the side of her jaw. “Forgive me for coming in here like I did. He loves you, not me. He never loved me. I’m happy for you, Mother Confessor; you have a good man who will watch over you and protect you and always be kind. I know he will.”
Kahlan stood and took Nadine’s hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. “Kahlan. My name is Kahlan.”
“Kahlan.” Nadine still couldn’t meet Kahlan’s eyes. “Does he kiss good? I always wondered. When I laid awake in bed, I always wondered.”
“When you love someone with all your heart, their kisses are always good.”
“I guess. I never had a good kiss. One I really enjoyed like the ones I’ve dreamed about, anyway.” She smoothed the front of her dress as she made an effort to compose herself. “I wore this because blue is Richard’s favorite color. You should know that—blue is his favorite color dress.”
“I know,” Kahlan whispered.
Nadine pulled her bag closer. “I don’t know what I’m thinking, forgetting my profession, while I ramble on about what’s over and done.”
Nadine rummaged around in her bag, bringing out a small piece of a sheep’s horn with a cork stopper in the square-cut end. The horn was marked with scratches and circles. She pulled the cork stopper and dipped in a finger, then lifted it to Cara.
Cara backed away. “What do you think you are doing?”
“It’s an unguent, made from aum, to take away the sting, and comfrey and yarrow to help stop the bleeding so the wound can heal smooth. The cut on your cheek is still oozing. If this doesn’t stop the blood, then I have some foxglove, but I think this will do it. It’s not only the ingredients but how much of each, my pa says, that’s the secret that makes the medicine work.”
“I don’t need it,” Cara said.
“You’re very pretty. You don’t want to end up with a scar, now do you?”
“I have many scars. You just can’t see them.”
“Where are they?”
Cara scowled, but Nadine didn’t back away.
“All right,” Cara said at last. “Use your herbs, if it will get you away from me. But I’m not undressing so you can peer at my scars.”
Nadine smiled assurance and then dabbed the brownish paste on Cara’s cheek. “This will take away the pain of the cut, but it’s going to sting for just a minute, and then it will ease.”
Cara didn’t so much as blink. It must have surprised Nadine because she paused and looked at Cara’s eyes before resuming her work. When she was finished, Nadine replaced the stopper in the horn and placed it back in her bag.
Nadine glanced around the room. “I’ve never seen such a beautiful room. Thank you for letting me use it.”
“Of course. Do you need anything? Some supplies… anything?”
Nadine shook her head, wiped her nose a last time, and stuffed the kerchief back in the pocket. She remembered the cup, downed the rest of the water, and put it in her bag, too.
“It’s a bit of a journey, but I have some silver left. I’ll be fine.”
She rested a hand on her bag as she stared down at her trembling fingers. “I never thought my journey would end like this. I’m going to be the laugh of Hartland, running off after Richard like I did.” She swallowed. “What’s Pa going to say?”
“Did Shota tell him, too, that you were going to marry Richard?”
“No. I hadn’t met Shota yet.”
“What do you mean? I thought she was the one
who told you to come here—that you were to marry him.”
“Well”—Nadine made a wincing smile—“that wasn’t exactly how it happened.”
“I see.” Kahlan clasped her hands. “Well, exactly how did it happen?”
“It will sound silly—like I’m some moonstruck girl of twelve.”
“Nadine, just tell me.”
Nadine considered a moment before finally sighing. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. I started having these, well, I don’t know what to call it. I’d see Richard, or rather, I thought I saw Richard. I’d see him out of the corner of my eye, and I’d turn, but he wouldn’t be there. Like one day, when I was walking in the woods looking for new shoots, and I saw him standing beside a tree, so I stopped, but he was gone.
“Every time, I knew he needed me. I didn’t know how I knew, but I knew. I knew it was important, that he was in trouble of some sort. I never questioned it.
“I told my parents that Richard needed me and I had to go help him.”
“And they believed you? They had faith in your visions? They simply let you set out?”
“Well, I never quite explained it to them. I just told them that Richard had sent me a message that he needed my help, and I was going to him. I guess that I, well, I might have kind of made them think I knew where I was going.”
Kahlan was beginning to see that Nadine didn’t explain things to anyone very well. “Then Shota came?”
“No. Then I left. I knew Richard needed me, and so I started out.”
“Alone? You simply thought to march off and search the entire Midlands for him?”
Nadine shrugged self-consciously. “It never occurred to me to wonder how I would find him. I knew he needed me, and I felt that it was important, so I left to go to him.” She smiled, as if to reassure Kahlan. “I came right to him—straight as an arrow. It all worked out exactly right.” Her cheeks flushed. “Except the part about him wanting me, I mean.”
“Nadine, had you been having any… strange dreams? Then, or now?”