Many of the people in those fallen lands had put their faith in the Order at the cost of their liberty.
What was left to her? Running. Retreat. Terror. Death.
She had nothing to lose anymore, really. Nearly everything was already lost, or soon would be. While she at least still had her life, she was going to use it.
She was going to go to the heart of the Order.
“What are you doing?”
Kahlan spun around to see Cara frowning at her.
“Cara, I… I’m leaving.”
Cara gave a single nod. “Good. I, too, think it is time. I won’t be long getting my things together. You get the horses, and I’ll meet—”
“No. I’m going alone. You will stay here.”
Cara stroked her long blond braid laying over the front of her shoulder. “Why are you going?”
“There’s nothing left here for me to do—nothing I can do. I’m going to go drive my sword into the heart of the Order: Brother Narev and his disciples. It’s the only thing I can do to strike back at them.”
Cara smiled. “And you think I want to stay here?”
“You will stay here, where you should be…with Benjamin.”
“I’m sorry, Mother Confessor,” Cara said tenderly, “but I can’t follow such orders. I am Mord-Sith. My life is sworn to protecting Lord Rahl. I promised Lord Rahl I would protect you, not stay and kiss Benjamin.”
“Cara, I want you to stay here—”
“It’s my life. If this is the end, all there is to be, then I will do with the rest of my life as I wish. It’s my life to live, not yours to live for me. I’m going, and that is final.”
Kahlan saw in Cara’s eyes that it was. Kahlan didn’t think she had ever heard Cara express such a sentiment about her own wishes. It was indeed her life. Besides, Cara knew where Kahlan was going. If Kahlan left without Cara, Cara would simply follow. Getting Mord-Sith to obey orders was often more difficult than herding ants.
“You’re right, Cara; it is your life. But when we get down into the Old World, you’re going to have to wear something to disguise who you are. Red leather in the Old World will be the end of us.”
“I will do what I must to protect you and Lord Rahl.”
Kahlan smiled at last. “I believe you would, Cara.”
Cara wasn’t smiling. Kahlan’s smile faded.
“I’m sorry I tried to leave without you, Cara. I shouldn’t have done it that way. You’re a sister of the Agiel. I should have talked it over with you. That’s the proper way to treat someone you respect.”
Cara smiled at last. “Now you are making sense.”
“We might not ever come back from this.”
Cara shrugged. “And you think we will live the high life if we stay? I think only certain death awaits us if we stay.”
Kahlan nodded. “That’s what I think, too. That’s why I must go.”
“I’m not quarreling.”
Kahlan gazed out at the falling snow. The last time winter had come, she and Cara had just managed to escape in time.
Kahlan steeled herself and asked, “Cara, do you really believe Richard is still alive?”
“Of course Lord Rahl is alive.” Cara held up her Agiel, rolling it in her fingers. “Remember?”
And then she did: the Agiel would only work if the Lord Rahl to whom she was sworn was alive.
Kahlan handed Cara some of her load. “Gadi?”
“He died as Verna wished it. She showed him no pity.”
“Good. Pity for the guilty is treason to the innocent.”
It was not long after dawn when Kahlan made it to Zedd’s tent. Cara had gone to get horses and supplies. When Kahlan called, Zedd asked her to enter. He rose from the bench beside Adie, the old sorceress.
“Kahlan. What is it?”
“I’ve come to bid you good-bye.”
Zedd’s eyes showed no surprise. “Why don’t you stay and get some rest? Leave tomorrow.”
“There are no tomorrows left. Winter is upon us again. If I am going to do as I must, I don’t have a day to waste.”
Zedd gently gripped her shoulders. “Kahlan, Warren wanted to see you. He felt he had to tell you that Richard was right. It meant a great deal to him that you know that. Richard told us that you must not attack the heart of the Order before the people prove themselves to him, or all will be lost. Such a thing is even less likely to happen today than the day he said it.”
“And maybe Warren meant that Richard was right—that we are going to lose the New World to the Order, so what is there to stay for? Maybe it was Warren’s way of trying to tell me to go to Richard before I’m dead, or he’s dead, and then it’s too late to even try.”
“And Nicci?”
“I’ll find out when I get there.”
“But, you can’t hope to—”
“Zedd, what else is there for me? To watch the Midlands fall? To aspire at most to live out my life running, to live as a recluse, hiding every day from the clutches of the Order?
“Even if Warren hadn’t said it, I’ve come to realize—no matter how much I wish it was otherwise—that Richard is right. The Order will only be pinned down for the winter while we help the people escape Aydindril. In the spring, the enemy will flood into my city. Then they will turn to D’Hara. There will be nowhere to run. Though they escape for the moment, the Order will subjugate those people.
“There is no future for me. Richard was right. The least I can do is spend the last of my life living for myself, and for Richard. There is nothing else left for me, Zedd.”
Tears brimmed in his eyes. “I will miss you so. You’ve brought back good memories of my own daughter and given me so many good times.”
Kahlan threw her arms around him. “Oh, Zedd, I love you.”
She couldn’t hold back her own tears, then. She was all he had left, and he was losing her, too.
No—that wasn’t true. Kahlan pulled back.
“Zedd, the time has come for you to leave, too. You must go to the Keep and protect it.”
He nodded with great reluctance, great sadness. “I know.”
Kahlan knelt before the sorceress and took up her hand. “Adie, will you go with him and keep him company?”
A beautiful smile
came to the woman’s weathered face. “Well, I…” She looked up. “Zedd?”
Zedd scowled. “Bags, now you’ve ruined the surprise of the invite.”
Kahlan smacked his leg. “Stop cursing in front of ladies—and stop being so sour. I’d like to know you’re not going to be lonely up there.”
A smile stole across his face. “Of course Adie is going to the Keep with me.”
Adie scowled in turn. “How do you know that, old man? You never asked my approval. Why, I have a mind—”
“Please stop it,” Kahlan said. “Both of you. This is too important to be fussing over.”
“I can fuss if I want to,” Zedd protested.
“That be right.” Adie shook a thin finger. “We are old enough to fuss if we wish.”
Kahlan smiled through her tears. “Of course you can. It’s just that, after Warren…it reminds me of how much I hate to see people waste their lives on things that don’t matter.”
Zedd truly did scowl, now. “You’ve a thing or two to learn, dear one, if you don’t know how important fussing is.”
“That be right,” Adie said. “Fussing keeps you sharp. When you get old, you need to stay sharp.”
“Adie is entirely right,” Zedd said. “Why, I think—”
Kahlan silenced him with a hug that Adie joined.
“Are you sure about this, dear one?” Zedd asked after they parted.
“I am. I’m going to take my sword into the belly of the Order.”
Zedd nodded as he hooked his bony fingers around the back of her neck. He pulled her head close and kissed her brow.
“If you’re to go, then ride hard and strike harder.”
“My thought, exactly,” Cara said as she stepped into the tent.
Kahlan thought Cara’s blue eyes looked a little more liquid than usual. “Are you all right, Cara?”
Cara frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing,” Kahlan said.
“General Meiffert got us the six fastest horses he could find.” Cara smiled her pleasure at the prospect. “We’ll have fresh mounts with us and be able to cover a lot of ground fast. I have all our supplies loaded up.